Hilarious Jamaican Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Jamaican Jokes

Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence" Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"

Jamaican student: "the cheetah is faster dandelion"

*Everyone dies*

Score: 209

Score: 159

A Jamaican is asked, use Dandelion in a sentence ... He then says ...
"The cheetah is faster dandelion"

Score: 134

My girlfriend said “I believe in you” and it made me happy. But then I realised she had just affected a culturally inappropriate Jamaican accent to break the news that she was moving out.

Score: 113

Teacher: “use dandelion in a sentence” Jamaican kid: “de cheetah run faster dandelion”

Score: 100

What does a Jamaican do when he sees a spaceman? He parks his car, man.

Score: 67

Don't be racist, be like Mario... He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

Score: 66

Why don't Jamaican people secure their homes? Because they dread locks

Score: 64

What do you call a Jamaican guy exhaling deeply? Simon.

Score: 55

We're having a Jamaican hair day at work tomorrow I'm dreading it already.

Score: 50

We're having a Jamaican themed hair day at work this Friday I'm dreading it already

Score: 50

A english teacher asked the class... ... “Use the word ‘dandelion’ in a sentence.”

The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed -

“De Cheetah is fastah dandelion’

Score: 48

What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger? A gingerbreadmon.

Score: 47

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Pokemon!

Score: 35

Why was the Jamaican surprised when he saw a bunch of Transformers flying over his house? 'Cause there were robots in de skies.

Score: 33

Teacher says "use 'dandelion' in a sentence"... The Jamaican student replies "De cheeta is faster dandelion"

Score: 29

What do you call a Jamaican man who has committed some sin? A Cinnamon.

It's turrible I know, but I thought of it at the grocery store and had to share it.

Score: 27

Teacher: Use dandelion in the sentence Kid *Jamaican accent*: The cheetah is faster dandelion

Score: 26

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word ‘dandelion’ in it. Jamaican: Da Cheetah ran faster dandelion

Score: 23

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? The Pokémon.

Score: 22

"I'm independent" Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace.

Score: 19

Why did the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships? So they could scan da Navy in.

Edit: now in a Jamaican accent

Score: 17

What do you call a Jamaican guy on the internet? A digimon.

Score: 16

One time in English Class our teacher asked us to make a sentence with the word “Dandelion”. Carl says “The dandelion is beautiful.”
The Jamaican Transfer Student then says “The cheetah is faster DanDeLion.”

Score: 16

So the Jamaican said to the Arab.. "Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'

Score: 15

What do you get when you cross a Jamaican and a Scotsman Dreadlochs

Score: 14

A Jamaican guy asks another Jamaican guy... "Hey mon, do you know what the thing that casts the shadow in a sundial is called?"

The other guy thinks for a moment and then responds: "Gnomon".

Score: 14

The jerk store called They say your order of Jamaican spices is in.

Score: 13

How does a Jamaican close a prayer? Ayy mon'

Score: 13

Tomorrow at work is Jamaican hairstyle day I’m already dreading it

Score: 13

What did Bob Marley say to the chef? What Jamaican?

Score: 10

What do you call a Jamaican teacher at Hogwarts? De mentor.

Score: 7

Teacher: use dandelion in a sentence Jamaican Student: de cheetah is faster dandelion

Score: 7

"Farting" What a Jamaican says when they spot something off in the distance.

Score: 5

I broke the law in front of a Jamaican selling spices He said I'm a cinnamon

Score: 5

An Englishman saying 'beer can' sounds like... A Jamaican saying 'bacon'.

Score: 5

What do you call a Jamaican fish? Sal mon

Score: 5

What do you call a Jamaican with a broken leg? Usain Halt.

Score: 4

What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii? Poke, mon.

Score: 4

What do you call a Jamaican that just finished his reggae album? Ben-jamin

Score: 4

New Jamaican Jokes

What do you call a Jamaican man with stubble? A pokey-mon!

Score: 0

I asked my Jamaican friend what he wreckons trumps favorite fruit is, He replied. Umm peach man

Score: 0

Jamaican: do you know what trumps favorite fruit is? Um peach man!

Score: 0

Why didn't the Jamaican Rooster have any friends? Because he was a Jerk Chicken!

Score: 2

Two Jamaican tour bus drivers were having a conversation The one said to the other, I heard you had a busload of Christians today. What do they believe.
The driver answered, "Anything I tell them".

My uncle told this one

Score: 1

A man orders a Jamaican uber. The man then gets in the car with the Jamaican driver and asks his name.

"You don't need to know my name, you just need to know I'm your man." The Jamaican responds

The man was very confused.

"You don't look very German to me!"

Score: 1

Why was the Jamaican man doubting that he swam in india Because he was in De Nile

Score: 1

An Italian, a Jamaican and a stormtrooper tried to make a meal for Gordon Ramsay. It was a rasta blaster pasta disaster.

Score: 3

My workplace has "Jamaican Hair Day" next week... ...I'm already dreading it.

Score: 2

What do the French call a yellow Jamaican man? Lèmon.

I thought of this one myself shut up

Score: 3

It's international Jamaican Day tomorrow... I'm dread'in it.

Score: 1

Fasting. What a Jamaican calls Sonic the Hedgehog

Score: 3

Meetings That's what a Jamaican calls his possessions.

Score: 3

What did the Jamaican war hero amputee say to the massage therapist when asked where he wanted to be massaged? DA FEET IS NADDA OPTION!!

Score: 1

Why didn't the Jamaican cut his hair? He dreaded it.

Score: 2