Laundry Jokes

Contents

Funniest Laundry Jokes

I just saw my wife walk around with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing. It’s laundry day.

Score: 3206

What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your pool? Throw in your laundry.

Score: 844

Blonde walks into a... A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

Score: 629

Why was Martin Luther King so bad at doing laundry? Because he wouldn't separate the whites from the blacks.

Score: 383
Funny Laundry Jokes
Score: 253

I starting wearing depressing outfits It saves time on laundry, since a lot of the time they hang themselves.

Score: 158

What should you do when your epileptic child starts seizing in the bathtub? Throw in your laundry!

Score: 149

Do you know what to do if an epileptic has an attack in bath? Quickly add your laundry.

Score: 148

My neighbour banged on my door yesterday asking if I'd seen who stole her laundry off her line. I got such a fright I almost wet her panties.

Score: 143

Got an email from boredhousewife423 saying she was looking for some action I sent her my laundry. That'll give her something to do

Score: 124

Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry? She had a filthy habit

Score: 113

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in your laundry.

Score: 104

My married life is awesome. I cook for my wife and she does my laundry. We are maid for each other.

Score: 81

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine? When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

Score: 79

I've always said that life is a lot like doing laundry There's a lot less bleeding if you separate the colors from the whites.

Score: 75

My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but it turned out she just wanted to do laundry. So I folded.

Score: 67

Last night my wife and I argued for hours as to whose turn it was to do laundry. Eventually.... I folded.

Score: 57

I could see she was about to fold when I put my chips on the table… "Move them," my wife said, "I'm doing laundry."

Score: 47

Retarded Me: I just put my laundry in the fridge. Sometimes I think I am retarded.

Friend: Oh! I do that all the time.

Me: Put clothes in the fridge?

Friend: No. Think that you are retarded.

Score: 47

What was the news headline when a crazy man sexually assaulted two laundry women and ran away? NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS!

Score: 42

Due to turning into laundry detergent, I was unable to go to work today. What can I say? My hands were Tide.

Score: 42

My parents taught me from birth that the coloreds and the whites should be separated. I mean, that’s just basic laundry.

Score: 40

what do you do with someone that is having a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in a load of laundry.

Score: 36

What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi? Stew.

Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry.

Score: 34

I like to do my laundry naked so that all my clothes are clean. Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don't seem to agree.

Score: 34

LPT: what to do when someone is having a seizure in a bathtub Throw in a load of laundry.

Score: 33

Why do you have to separate red shirts when you put them into the laundry? Because red shirts die easily.

Score: 31

My wife challenged me to strip poker, but I soon realized she just wanted to do laundry. So I folded.

Score: 31

What do you do when you find Michael J. Fox in your hot tub? .....Add your laundry.

Score: 30

What do police and my laundry detergent not have in common? One protects all colors.

Score: 30

I wish my laundry was more like my ex. And someone else would just do it while I'm not home.

Score: 27

I was doing the laundry today and I started reading the side of the detergent and it said… Tough on Grime.

Smashes Dirt.

Hard on Stains.

I thought, wow, that last one's a bit too much information…

Score: 20

I like my jokes how I like my laundry Dry.

Score: 15

My ex-gf claims I dumped her for being a feminist... Which is completely wrong! I dumped her for not doing my laundry, cleaning my dishes, or cooking my dinner.

Score: 15

The Ku Klux Klan... It's worth joining just to find out the name of the brilliant laundry detergent they use.

Score: 12

What is the difference between a woman and a laundry machine? The laundry machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Score: 11

What do you do when someone has an epileptic seizure in your bathtub? Throw in the laundry.

Score: 9

What do you do if you see someone having a seizure in the bathtub? Toss in your laundry!

Score: 7

Why did Martin Luther King Jr. boycott laundry detergent? Because it told him to keep his whites and colours separate.

Score: 6

A man goes to the police to call his wife missing. "When have you seen your wife for the last time?"

- "About a month ago"

"And why are you coming to the police only now?!"

- "I have no more clean laundry..."

Score: 5

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New Laundry Jokes

A student, who is not a native English speaker was buying He was confused when he saw the words "open here" on a box of laundry soap, so he asked the store clerk,
"Can't I wait until I get home to open it?"

Score: 0

What's the first thing you do if you find your wife having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw in the laundry

Score: 3

What does hitler call doing his laundry? Purifying the jeans

Score: 4

Call me old-fashioned but I think whites and colors should be seperate. My wife has no idea how to do laundry.

Score: 3

What do you do when an epileptic is taking a bath? Throw in your laundry in and switch on and off the lights.

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What do you do if someone is having a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in your laundry.

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George's pound of laundry Didnt get done

For two thousand days

Now George Washington

Score: 1

What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw in your laundry.

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Laundry? More like Longdry Or even Longwet

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What do you do when the epileptic kid has a seizure in the bathtub Throw some laundry in

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What do you call a laundry in Russian? Kompromat

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What's the difference between a laundry machine and children? A laundry machine doesn't cry when I put the load in.

Score: 4

I've decided to open a laundry mat / brother Bukakai Laundry: Many loads, one dollar.

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Did you hear about the laundry machine at the gym? It has washboard abs.

Score: 4

Jerry hated doing laundry. So he threw in the towel.

:D

Score: 5

"Honestly son, it's all about separation of the whites and the colored with some strategic hanging thrown in... Other than that, there's not really much more I can teach you about doing laundry."

Score: 4

That's it. I'm done. I'm throwing in the towel Because it stinks and its time to do a load of towels in the laundry.

Score: 1

Dad : son, go get me some laundry soap. Son : do u really need it now?

Dad : yes, you can say it's det-urgent!

Score: 3

It's okay, laundry Nobody is doing me either

Score: 5

I prefer having poker players do my laundry They know when to fold

Score: 5

How did Nelson Mandela do laundry while in prison? He used one part water, a part corn starch, and a part Tide.

Score: 3

I'm fed up with being the only one who cleans the house, cooks every meal, does the dishes, the laundry and pays the bills.

I mean I live by myself, but still.

Score: 3

I'm going to do you like I do the laundry... and leave it all to a machine.

Score: 2

My grandpa always told me that cooking and cleaning was a woman's job, so I was surprised when he confessed he does his own laundry... I guess he's really passionate about separating whites from coloreds.

Score: 4

What do you do when someone is having a seizure in the bathtub? Toss in your laundry

Score: 3

Three things in the universe are constant. The speed of light, gravity, and laundry.

Score: 4

Today, my wife found a pair of her sister's panties in our room. They were in my laundry pile, next to my boxers.

Now she's mad, because I told her it was only a brief affair.

Score: 4

I've got washboard abs. But unfortunately there is a load of laundry sitting on the washboard.

Score: 4

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