Massage Jokes

I got a massage last week... and it was the first time I had a guy masseuse. So we're like 10 minutes in I just had to ask, is getting an erection normal? He said yes they are very common. And I was like, well can you get it out of my face...?

I'm going to make an all male massage parlor. I'll call it The Massagynist

I just got fired from my job as a massage therapist My boss said I rub people the wrong way

I got fired today from my summer job as a massage therapist My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way

I was getting a massage and I asked the masseuse if it was normal for a man to get an erection He replied that it was. So I asked if he could get it out of my face.

I asked my masseuse if it was unusual to get an erection during a massage... the masseuse replied, "not at all it happens all the time."
So i said, "well do you mind keeping it out of my face."

What do you call a sexist masseuse? A massage-ynist.

I had to quit the massage business. I kept rubbing people the wrong way.

How do you agitate an achy feminist runner? massage a knee

I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject.

A girl gets fired from her job with a Vegas outcall massage service Seems she rubbed too many guys the wrong way.

What do you call someone who only massages men? A massage'nist.

I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way

I don't like the massage therapist that moved in next door. He just rubs me the wrong way.

I went to a German massage parlour earlier Whole experience was pretty hans on

How did the massage therapist lose all of his customers? He rubbed them all the wrong way

Guy goes to get a massage for the first time. What is he happy about? All the things he didn't know he kneaded.

What did Sting get in Amsterdam? A massage in a brothel

What do you call a happy ending at a Jewish massage parlor? Free.

Robert Kraft doesn't always have a use for massage parlors. But sometimes they come in handy.

My massage therapist got fired... I guess she rubbed too many people the wrong way.

I got kicked out of a massage parlor the other day. Apparently the prostate isn't considered "deep tissue."

I just fired my massage therapist she rubbed me the wrong way

I went to an Asian massage place... And when my masseuse came in, I realized it was avril lavigne. So much for my happy ending.

Why was Disney's massage parlor so successful? All of their customers got happy endings.

I have the best proctologist. He's able to massage my shoulders and check my prostate at the same time.

Sting has launched his own range of aromatherapy oils. They're a massage in a bottle

My hot dislexic co-worker said she had an important massage to give me in her office... When I got there, she told me it can wait until I put on some clothes.

Why did they call the masseuse sexist? He was massage-anistic..

My ex was massage therapist before we broke up and I don't know why everytime I see her. But she just rubs me the wrong way.

What do you call a physical therapist who believes men are superior? A massage-inist

When I was a kid I kept asking my friend why he always got a massage chair and he never answered me. I recently found out he died having a seizure. Now I'll never know.

I don’t think I’m going to go back to my massage therapist. He just kinda rubbed me the wrong way.

What does a massage therapist have for dinner...? SPA-ghetti!

I was going to ask my friend if he wanted a massage, But I didn't want to rub him the wrong way.

What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis? Massage a knee.

I was telling my French friend about the massage I got from a little person last week... She said, “Ah, oui monsieur?”

I said, “Well, yes, I guess he was.”

I went to college to get a degree in massage therapy Because I want to be a misogynist.

What you you call it when you massage a genie? Massageine
(Edit the title is supposed to say what DO you call it when you massage a genie.)