Hilarious Medicine Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Medicine Jokes

Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction, and name it ElonGate.

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Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team up and make a medicine to cure erectile dysfunction And name it "Elon-Gate"

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Courtesy of my 5 year old: Why did Dracula take cold medicine? To stop his coffin.

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Whomever said laughter is the best medicine... clearly hasn't tried curing diarrhea with a tickle fight.

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I still remember my Grandfather's last ever joke... He said to me, before he passed- 'Quick! Get my medicine!'

But, I didn't get it :/

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If farmer A sells apple's, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine

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Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

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Why is it that there's no pharmacies in Africa? Because you shouldn't take medicine on an empty stomach.

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Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

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They say that laughter is the best medicine. Well, I have diarrhea and it's making it worse.

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A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine and minored in taxidermy. "Either way you're getting your dog back" He says

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I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener. Now her clothes don't fit.

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Where do Cows get their medicine from? The Farmacy.

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If farmer A sells apples and farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine.

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What instructions are not needed on Parkinson's Medicine? Shake well before use.

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A Polish man calls 911 And says, "Help! My wife is trying to kill me!"

The operator asks, "How can you be sure?"

The Pole says, "I was looking through her medicine cabinet, and I found Polish Remover!"

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A Russian doctor is treating his patient. *"Take this for insomnia... take this for depression... and take this for anxiety."*

*"Thank you Doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides Vodka?"*

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A duck walks in to an alternative medicine practicioners office. Points a wing at him and says with a frown: "Quack!"

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Laughter is the best medicine. Unless they have cancer. You can laugh at them all day and they still don't get better.

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I heard laughter is the best medicine I heard laughter is the best medicine, so I went to the local hospital, found some cancer patients, and laughed at them.

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They say laughter is the best medicine Thats why I always make sure to laugh when someone tells me they have cancer.

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There's a new erectile dysfunction medicine on the market Its called mycoxaflopin

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Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets? So they don't wake up the sleeping pills.

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Did you hear about the guy who OD'ed on homeopathic medicine? He had forgotten to take them.

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What do you call alternative medicine that works? Medicine.

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Russian pharmacy Doctor: This medicine is from insomnia, this one is from nervous break-down, and also take this one from depression.

Patient: Thank you very much, doctor, but do you have any other medicine besides vodka?

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In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine

... runs off ...

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An old woman drinks whisky for the first time. She thinks for a while, and then says: “Strange, the stuff tastes exactly like the medicine my late husband had to take for twenty years!”

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My doctor got sick so I grabbed his medical bag, but he refused to let me treat him He did not like the taste of his own medicine

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A duck walks in to an alternative medicine practicioners office. It points a wing at the man behind the desk and says with a frown: "Quack"

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A huge earthquake shook Mexico Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock

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You know what they say about herbal medicine... Thyme heals all wounds.

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If you're going to file a lawsuit against the Federal Reserve what medicine should you take? Sudafed

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People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world!

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I just found out why they open medicine cabinets very carefully... To not disturb and wake up the sleeping pills...

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Really was going to study medicine to become a doctor. I just didn’t have the patients.

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I wish there was a medicine that could cure procrastination Eh, who am I kidding, I'd probably put off taking it.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you're diabetic, then insulin is pretty high on the list.

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I threw some pills at my doctor I thought it would be a good idea to give him a taste of his own medicine

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New Medicine Jokes

I’m prescribed ADHD medicine but I don’t take it every day Today I took my medicine. It is a methylpheni-day

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The thing I like about the dark is You could be standing in front of an axe murderer and not know it until you’re chopped up or you take your schizophrenia medicine.

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Why is there cotton in the top of medicine bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers long before they were drug addicts.

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I’ve developed a new medicine to help people sleep at night. It works better than normal off the shelf brands. Small pills taken with a liquid and there’s no harsh taste or smell. I’m calling them “Pill Cosbys”.

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Don't bother getting medicine for your headache... After all, it's all in your head.

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What kind of medicine makes you look down... ...eye drops.

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A doctor walks up to his girlfriend... He says, “We’re breaking up!” He then proceeds to insult her.

“Why are you being so rude?” She asks, hurt.

“In medicine, you always burn a wound to make sure it never opens again,” He replies.

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In Germany, we recently arrested a Guy who claims to have invented a Medicine for Immortality, I guess he didnt learn from his Last sentences in 1925, 1845, 1738....

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Why are there no pharmacy stores in Africa? Because you’re not supposed to take medicine on an empty stomach.

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Vegetables are very healthy Because they take their medicine and so should you.

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Medicine Jim walked up to Joe who was frantically jumping up and down. So he asked Joe, "what are you doing?" Joe said while jumping, "This bottle says to shake well before use!"

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I made a joke a few years ago, I want to know if it's funny... Here it is :-
The label of a medicine bottle read, "Store in a cool and DARK place."
After thinking for a while, I placed it on my study table.

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Laughter is best medicine... Unless of course, you have explosive diarrhea!

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I wondered why my heartburn medicine was making me depressed... Turns out I was drinking Pepto-Dismal.

<something something no respect...>

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How did the heckawii indians get their name? They split off from a larger tribe and fallowed a river, they walked for weeks and months until finally coming to a great plain, the Indian chief looked at the medicine man and said "where the heck are we?"

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You know what song would really fit in an ad for Bell's Palsy medicine? "I Can't Feel My Face" by the Weeknd.

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What did the spokesperson for the allergy medicine company say during the fire? This has not Benadryl

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Grandpa used to say that laughter is the best medicine. I guess that's why most of us died from tuberculosis.

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My doctor prescribed me some suppositories for my nausea. They’re not the best medicine in the world, but they’re right up there.

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Laughter really is the best medicine... Except for diarrhea.

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Last night my friend Gavin overdosed on heart burn medicine...... I can't believe Gaviscon.

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Last night I reached for my medicine and accidentally drank from a bottle of whiteout. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.

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I forgot to take my bladder medicine.. The nurse said 'Urine trouble now!'

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What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine? The hippocampus.

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