Mothers Jokes

The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife... Thank you for everything, Mom.
Happy Mothers' Day!

Valentine's day Mothers have mothers day, father's have father's day, couples have valentine's day and I have palm sunday

What's the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

How many Jewish Mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh don't worry about me I'll just sit here in the dark. It's not like I need light to sit here all alone by myself.

It's going to be a busy couple of months for Caitlyn Jenner Mothers' Day and then Fathers' Day

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't worry about changing the lightbulb. I'll just sit here in the dark.

Today, my daughter came to me and told me... "Dad, we learned in school that children inherit their intelligence from their mothers."

I said: "Of course you got your intelligence from mom. Because I still have mine".

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light-bulb? None. Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark.

What's the difference between a baby and another baby? I don't know, but let's hope their mothers don't either.

Why do Italian men grow mustaches? To try to look like their mothers.

What did the waiter ask the group of Jewish mothers? Is *anything* okay?!

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

I was having a look... In my mothers bedroom the other day and I found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in her wardrobe. I couldn't believe it... My mothers a superhero!!!!!

He was a natural born thief. He had his mothers looks, his father's nose, and the doctor's watch

Poor Caitlyn Jenner. She missed Mothers Day & Fathers Day.

Why do Italians grow mustaches? So they can look like their mothers

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood? Super Barrio Mothers

What do children in India say to their mothers before they go to school? Mumbai

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh.....it's fine. Forget about it. Seriously don't worry about it. I'm fine sitting here in the dark.

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb? One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Why do Italian men have mustaches? They want to look like their mothers.

Mothers on Facebook. Full time mummy is not a job. Only Tutankhamun can claim that...

How are high school teachers similar to anti-vaxx mothers? They have to say goodbye to their kids after only 4 years.

Why was Adam and Eves marriage so successful? Because he couldn't complain about her mothers cooking.

What's irony? 15 year old mothers having a protection case for their IPhone

[In a seahorse home] Son: Dad? Dad: Yes?
Son: Happy M-
Dad: DON'T
Son: Moth-
Dad: STOP
Son: HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
*Dad bangs head on desk*

I'm a proud member of DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.

Jewish mothers How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb?

*Exasperated sigh* No it's fine, I'll just sit here in the dark!

Why do cannibal children go to the hospital? Because their mothers told them to eat their vegetables.

I've got some good news for small mothers... They're raising the mini mum wage next year!

Me and my best friend were born within an hour of each other, our mothers said we could be sister and brother Just like their parents were.

I can always find the mothers and fathers in a public event because it's apparent

What did you do for Mothers Day yesterday? Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday.

What's the Penalty for Bigamy in Utah? Two mothers-in-law.

Asked my wife what she wanted to get for mothers day. She said, "Drunk."

Don't worry, it's not sexist! I'm half woman on my mothers side.

They call me the Pastry Chef Because all your mothers came to get cream pies from me.

Why do people keep saying little mothers need more money? Oh, that's not what people mean by "minimum wage"?

My wife just had the best Mothers Day EVER. She had all three meals served to her in bed, people waited on her hand and foot, and she didn't do any cooking, cleaning, or taking care of the kids. Of course, she's in the hospital :(