Hilarious No Leg Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest No Leg Jokes

Score: 1260

What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.

Score: 1249

I have a dog with no legs I call him cigarette. Every night I take him out for a drag.

Score: 1186

How do you call a cow with no legs? You don't, because cows don't have phones.

Score: 955

Where do you find a dog that has no legs? Where you left it.

Score: 806

My dog has no legs. I call him Cigarette. Every night I come home from work, I take him for a drag.

Score: 786

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef!!!!! What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

Score: 762

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't bother calling it, it won't come

Score: 281

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean Beef

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Your mother

Score: 277

How do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not going to come.

Score: 220

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Yo mama

Score: 203

What do you call 1000 soldiers with no legs? An army.

Score: 162

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter - He won't come anyway.

But you could call him "cigarette" and take him out for a drag.

Score: 144

What do you call someone with no legs doing Karate? Partial Arts.

Score: 120

I got a dog with no legs..... I call him cigarette because I take him for a drag every night.

Score: 96

What do you call a dog with no legs? You can call it anything you want, it's not coming.

Score: 90

Where do you find a dog with no legs? The last place you left it.

Score: 86

what do you call a Cow with no legs? ground beef.

what do you call a cow with three legs?

lean beef.

what do you call a cow with two legs?

your mother.

Score: 69

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

Am I doing this right?

Score: 68

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

Score: 65

What do you call the boy with no legs and no arms? Names.

Score: 55

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef. how about a cow with three legs? lean beef. but what do you call a cow with 2 legs? your mom.

Score: 53

I have a dog with no legs. His name is Cigarette because I have to take him out for a drag.

Score: 51

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Your mom

Score: 50

What do you call a fish with no legs? A fish

Score: 45

Where would you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it

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Where do you find a five year old with no legs? Exactly where you left him

Score: 43

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he won't be able to come to you.

Score: 41

What do you call a hooker with no legs? A night crawler

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What has no legs and sounds like a dog? A log

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What do you call a drummer with no arms and no legs? A headbanger

Score: 36

What do you call a kid with no legs and one eye? Names.

Score: 27

My dog's got no legs, I call him cigarette ...... Because every night I take him out for a drag.

Score: 17

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s not gonna come

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves? Rustle

Score: 15

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, it's not gonna come.

Score: 15

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch? Matt

Score: 13

What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms and no legs? Anything you want.

Score: 11

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, it's not coming anyways.

Score: 11

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he's never gonna come.

Score: 10

New No Leg Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of a street? An ambulance.

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What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a swamp? Marsha.

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What do you call 2 men with no arms and no legs hanging above your window? Curt n’ Rod

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What do you call a hat with no legs? Handicap

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What do you call a teenager with no legs? A lowlife

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What do you name a boy with no arms and no legs? Matt

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and 30 tentacles? Senpai.

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What do you call a fella at your front door with no arms and no legs? Matt

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms in a swimming pool? Bob.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? However you do it, it won't matter.

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What do you call a turtle with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, laying at your doorstep? Matt

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What do you call twin boys with no arms and no legs hanging from a window? Kurt and Rod

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What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

Score: 3

What's a man with no arms or no legs in a pile of leaves called? Russell.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?? ..... ground beef. 😏😏😏

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So I was talking with this man with no legs at the bar last night. He seemed very down-to-earth.

Score: 2

Where can you find a dog with no legs? Where you last saw it

Score: 5

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

Score: 2

What do you call a cow with no legs? A PETA advertising model.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that's trying to swim? bob

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, you just go and pick it up.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that plays 15 musical instruments? Stump the Band

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What do you call a male pig with no legs and delusions of being a weather forecaster? Groundhog

Score: 7

What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs? Gracias

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Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it

Score: 5

What do you call a Baby with no arms and no legs.... A Monster

(from my 3 year old!)

Score: 8

What do you call a Mexican lady with no legs? Cuntswaylow

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? An ambulance.

Score: 3

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your front porch? Matt

Score: 1

Dog with no legs Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

Score: 2

Bob has no arms and no legs. Knock knock. It's probably not Bob.

Score: 4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.

Score: 7

What do you call a pig with no legs in a veggie patch? A ham and salad roll

Score: 1

What do you call a woman who has no arms, no legs, but gives good head? Partially disabled.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs riding a bull? Gord.

I made that joke up when I was 12.

Score: 2

Why did the man think the cow with no legs would win the race? Because the steaks were low.

Score: 5

What do you call a dog with no legs? Cigarette. Every night after dinner you take him out for a drag.

Score: 4

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he won't come.

Score: 1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a clothes line? Aaron

Score: 5

How do you call a cow with no legs...? Ground beef!

Wait, wait! There's more:

How do you call a cow with three legs?!
Lean beaf!

WAIT!!!! There's more!

How do you call a cow with two legs?!
YO MAMA

Score: 1

What do you call a Chinese woman with no legs? Dragon lips

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? Art.

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What did the guy with no arms and no legs say about the three legged race? It was a real drag.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Yo momma

Score: 7

What do you call a hot girl with no legs? Disabled.

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What do you call a frog with no legs? Hopless

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door? Matt

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting outside your front door? Matt

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From my redneck uncle: What do you call a dog with no legs? "It don't matter, cause he ain't gonna come anyways."

Score: 8

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef!!

What do you call a cow with two legs?

YOUR MUM!!

Score: 3

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head? The handycap.

Score: 7

Where do you find a dog with no arms and no legs? Right where you left it.

Score: 7

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell

Score: 4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Anything, what's he gonna do about it?

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What happens when a guy with no legs dies? He punches the bucket

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't call him anything, we both know that he's not coming

Score: 9

How does a man with no arms and no legs get across the street? Here's a hint: take the f out of weigh.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing around in a pile of leaves? Russel.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.

Score: 7