November Jokes

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

Man, if you thought No Nut November was bad... Wait until No Net December.

How is Donald Trump like a pumpkin? He is orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should have been thrown out in early November.

My childhood crush and I are finally getting married this year! Me in August, and her in November.

What time of the year do most squirrels die? No nut November

What's worse than no nut November? No net December.
Defend net neutrality.

I am really glad that No Nut November is over. A whole month without cashews was rough.

On Sunday November 6th, USA will move an hour back ... ... and on Tuesday November 8th, we move back half a century.

How is Trump similar to a pumpkin? Both are orange, hollow and should have been thrown out in November.

How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

First we had No Nut November.... Now we have No Net December.

If you eat too many salted pretzels on Halloween, what happens the next day? November thirst.

I'm devastated that I won't be able to celebrate my birthday this March I was born in November

What do pumpkins and Donald Trump have in common? They’re both orange and need to be thrown out in early November.

What happens when you fail at No Nut November? Nuttin'.

I fed this kid peanut and he almost died. I guess some people take No Nut November way too seriously.

Mommy, why am I getting Christmas presents in November? Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy.

Little known fact, you can actually nut during No Nut November You just can't let anyone cashew

Who will survive no nut november the longest? The people with a severe nut allergy

I used to always do No Shave November At least until I started growing facial hair.

When do squirrels start hibernating? No Nut November

Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey... is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!

How is Donald Trump like a pumpkin? They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should have been thrown out in early November.

Why is it difficult to follow no nut November ? Well, it gets increasingly 'hard' as the days pass by.

How are Donald Trump and a jack o' lantern alike? They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be thrown out the first week of November.

Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th. "Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."

What do Trump and a Jack-o-Lantern have in common? Both are hollow, orange, and need to be thrown out by early November.

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? Both are orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and need to be tossed out in November.

Edit: word

I hate that it's already no nut November I'm going to have to jack it a whole lot to keep my mind off of cashews...

Playing long con with mustache I'm growing a mustache for November. Whenever I'm asked about it, I say how much I hate it. When I get asked why I still have it in a few weeks, I'm going to say "it's growing on me."

Maybe this was more /r/dadjokes.

Who are the Minnesota Vikings' toughest opponents? November and December.

Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history? Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president

As a European I will never understand the big deal about “9/11”. I mean what exactly happened on the 9th of November that was so memorable?

I’m trying to participate in No Nut November but do almonds count? ‘Cause I came into a handful of almonds.

I guess some people take No Nut November too seriously. I feed this kid peanuts and he almost died!

Oh I'm gonna vote in November, but not for Biden. And not for Trump either because I'm European.

I said hi to a feminist today. The court case is decided for November 8th.

It’s a really good idea to set weight loss goals. I’m hoping to lose 220 pounds of ugly orange fat by November of 2020.

I've being doing No Nut November my whole life I know why other people find it hard though, I'm allergic to all nuts anyway.