Nude Jokes

My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes nude in her backyard. Personally I’m on the fence.

My girlfriend was standing nude... in front of a mirror and she wasn't happy with what she saw.
She said, "I'm fat and I am ugly I really need a compliment right now."
To which I replied, "Well your eyesight is near perfect..."

A man walks up to a woman at a nude beach... A man walks up to a woman at a nude beach.

"Hi, my name is Ed." he says.

"What's it short for?" she asks.

Thoughtful, he looks down a moment, before answering,

"I dunno, it's always been like that."

My wife is very mad that our beautiful neighbor is sunbathing nude in her yard. Personally, I'm on the fence.

Went to a nude beach today and let me tell you- I had a lot of women’s attention. I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes.

What’s the difference between this joke and a nudist soaked in food coloring? One is nude in dye and the other died in new.

A naked lady goes to a bar, asks for a drink A naked lady goes to a bar, asks for a drink.
Bartender stares at her. Lady said, "Never seen a nude woman?"
Bartender replied, "Nah, just wondering, how are you going to pay?"

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? It’s not hard

One night, Wonder Woman sent some nude pics but one failed to impress... ...she didn't turn on the flash...

How can you spot the blind guy on a nude beach? It's not hard.

I once sent nude pictures to everyone in my contacts list. Not only was it embarrassing... It cost me a fortune in stamps.

How would you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It's not hard

There's an email going around that claims to include a nude photo of Hillary Clinton Don't open it. It contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton.

What's another name for a nude beach? A junk yard.

How do you tell if there is a blind man at a nude beach? It's not hard

I told my fiance that we should get married on a nude beach. That way we can really see who the best man is.

Why did the midget get kicked off a nude beach? People got seriously annoyed with him sticking his nose into everybody's business.

How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? Its not that hard

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? It's not hard.

How can you tell when there's a blind man at the nude beach? It's not hard.

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach? It isn't hard.

What did the sign say at the nude beach during off season? Sorry, were clothed.

How can you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It’s not that hard

A nude woman is standing in front of her mirror She says to her husband,

"I feel horrible, I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment."

The husband : "your eyesight is perfect."

How do you spot a blind guy on a nude beach? It isn't hard.

Three nuns are talking after having cleaned the priest's desk. The first one says "I found nude pictures on his desk so I tore them".

The second one says "good for you sister. I found condoms in his drawer so I put holes in them".

The third nun fainted.

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach? It is not hard.

How do you find the blind guy at the nude beach? Let me tell you, it isn't hard.

I accidentally sent a nude pic to everyone in my address book once. It was horribly embarrassing and it cost a fortune in stamps!

This economy is getting so bad, I had to pose nude for a magazine I'm never going back to *that* newsstand!

-Emo Philips

A nude man walks into a doctor's office. A nude man walks into a doctor's office wrapped in Cellophane from head to toe.

The doctor says, "Well, clearly I can see your nuts."

How do you spot a blind man on nude beach It's not hard

How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It isn't hard.

How can you spot a blind man on a nude beach? It isn't hard.

How do you tell if a man at a nude beach is blind? It’s not hard.

I gave my girlfriend a laminated nude photo of myself. I told her to save it for a rainy day.

how to spot a blind person in a nude beach? it's not hard!

How do you know there's a blind guy at a nude beach? It's not hard.

How can you always tell a blind man at a nude beach. It's not hard.