Poland Jokes

"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!" "Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"


"That's easy, Berlin."


"And the capital of France?"


"Berlin"


"And the one of Poland?"


"Also Berlin."


"Good job Adolf, good job!"

A Russian is travelling to Poland... and he is stopped to be checked by an officer.

"Name?" the officer asked.

"Vlad Dobrynin," the man answered.

"Nationality?"

"Russian."

"Occupation?"

"No, no, just visiting."

Geography class -Whats the capital of Germany?

-Berlin teacher

-Whats the capital of France?

-Berlin again teacher

-Whats the capital of Poland?

-Still Berlin teacher

-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!

-We'll see about that

My girlfriend said to treat her like a princess So I forced her into a marriage with a man she'd never met so that I could make an alliance with Poland.

So... a German is getting ready to enter in a plane to Poland. "Occupation?" - The officer asks.
"Occupation? No! I'm here to visit!"

A German is at the border to go to Poland. The officer asks him:

Name?

Hans Gruber.

Address?

123 SpiegelStrasse, Berlin

Occupation?

Nein, just visiting.

A short history of Poland: "And then it got worse."

Vladimir Putin Vladimir Putin is in the line for customs when he arrives at Poland for a summit.


Customs Officer: "Name?"

Putin: "Vladimir Putin."

Customs Officer: "Nationality?"

Putin: "Russian."

Customs Officer: "Occupation?"

Putin: "No, just visiting."

A german man goes to Poland. Crossing the border, the guard asks reviews his documents. Pole: Name?

German: Hans Guttermark

Pole: Age?

German: Neunundzwanzig.

Pole: Occupation?

German: *smiles* Nein, just visiting!

What language do they speak in Poland? Depends on the year, sometimes it's German and sometimes it's Russian.

Newsflash! A small, 2-seat aircraft crashed in a graveyard in Poland. Rescuers have found 115 dead so far and expect to find hundreds more as they continue digging.

What did Germany say to France after conquering Poland? Europe next.

A German man is leaving a plane after landing in Poland. The immigration officer asks him
"Occupation?" And the German man replies
"No just visiting"

Mom writes to her son in Poland's army: "Dear Son, I am writing this letter ever so slowly..... ....because I know you cannot read fast"

How many peopledoes it take to change a lightbulb in Germany? Just one Germans are very efficient and not very funny.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in Poland?

Just one Germans are very efficient and not very funny.

Did you hear, there's no more ice in Poland? The old lady with the recipe died...

What was the weather forcast in poland on the day before the german invasion? 86% chance of heil

A German visits Poland. A German visits Poland, and is stopped at the boarder by a Polish official.

The Polish Official asked "Occupation?"


The German replied "Yes," and thus began the bloodiest conflict in human history.

I recently bought a German car, but the navigation system is all messed up. It only gives directions to Poland.

Where did Hitler keep his armies? ...
...
...
In his sleeves.


Okay, how did he tie his shoesies?
...
...
...
With little knotsies!

So where did he keep his OTHER armies?
...
...
...
Poland.

In the geography class: -What is the capital of Germany?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of Poland?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of France?
-Berlin!
-Good job, Adolf!

When I went to Poland I saw the greatest dancing group in the country When my wife asked what I did there I told her I saw the worlds best pole dancers!

Where does the red teletubby come from? Poland

Where do strippers go on holiday ? Poland

Back when I was in a band I had a roadie that was from Poland I also had a Czech one too, czech one too

The Polish Astronauts. Ya' ever hear the one about the Polish Astronauts?

Yeah, so they decided to go on a mission to the sun. The Americans called them up saying, "Poland! You can't go to the sun! You'll burn alive!"

The Poles responded, "AHA! We go at night!"

My husband noticed my unusual behavior lately and finally asked if I'm secretly a pole dancer. A pole dancer!? Ive never even been to Poland

How did Germany conquer Poland so quickly? They marched in backwards and said they were leaving.

How did Hitler conquer Poland? He used a lot of polish remover.

What do you call a tank rolling through the streets of poland? Ghetto Blaster

When German politics go right, they go far right. Right through Poland

You can take a Turk to Poland but you can't Polish a Kurd.

How do you know you are in Poland? People throw rocks at the ground and miss.

How did Germany take over Poland so quick in World War 2? The Germans marched in backwards, so the Polish thought they were leaving

Where does Poland keep its money? In pole vaults

50,000 Germans walk into poland Punchlines in the title

After his visit to Poland, Reports say 74 percent of the natives thought President Trumps visit was a failure... Trump responded, "THE POLS are WRONG, FAKE NEWS!

How do you know if a car is German? The GPS directions only lead to Poland.

Why are there no good seats in Poland? No matter what, you're always sitting behind a Pole.