Hilarious Race Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Race Jokes

Did you hear about the guy who was shot with a starter pistol? Police think it is race-related

Score: 11897

If you could exterminate any race what would you pick? Personally, I‘d get rid of the 5km. It‘s too long to be considered a sprint and not long enough to really be long distance.

Score: 9512

Apparently, someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track. Police think it was race related.

Score: 9257

Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race NASCAR

Score: 7415

Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

Score: 3339

Score: 2332

What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.

I'll see myself out.

Score: 2309

Racism is so stupid. You shouldn't treat someone differently just because they're from an inferior race.

Score: 1799

Apparently someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track Police think it may be race related

Score: 1522

Is it okay to hate a certain race? I usually run the 5K, but someone from my running group wants to do the 10K, which I don't want because a lot of caucasians participate in that one.

Score: 1294

A man has been shot with a starting pistol... The police are pretty sure it's race related.

Score: 1111

What could the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 969

Hitler wasn't a very athletic man. He never even finished a single race.

Score: 942

I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster... Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.

Score: 851

Somebody was shot with a starting pistol... The police think it might be race related...

Score: 751

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain can finish a race

Score: 703

I challenged my dad to a race to see who would die first. Sadly he beat me to death.

Score: 645

Is it wrong to hate a specific race Because I really hate marathons

Score: 608

What is the difference between Usian Bolt and Hitler ? Usian Bolt can finish a race.

Score: 582

Two silk worms were in a race... It ended in a tie.

Score: 563

Barack Obama is having a race with Joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"

Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11."

Score: 563

What did the Boston Bombers do that Hitler couldn't? End a race.

Score: 539

As I looked into her eyes... ...across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak.
My heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies...

That's when I realised that I'd drugged the wrong glass.

Score: 520

Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers?

One of them actually ended a race.

Score: 487

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol... the police think it might be race related.

Score: 468

Is it wrong to hate an entire race? I just think marathons are *way* too much running

Score: 387

Two silkworms had a race... They ended up in a tie.

Score: 381

Me, to the cop: You can’t arrest me. I have a marathon to run today! Cop: Stop playing the race card!

Score: 347

Is it bad to hate a certain race? Because I despise the 100 meter

Score: 338

I shot someone with a starting gun. I've been charged with race crimes

Score: 292

A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast.

Score: 277

News just in: Someone has been killed with a starter pistol !!!

Police think it might be race related..............

Score: 231

Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other... They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.

Score: 203

A whale and a wave make a bet. (Just made this up.) The whale says to the wave, "I bet I could beat in a race to land." The wave agrees, so the whale takes off. He swims so fast, he drives himself ashore. The wave following behind him says " Hah! Beached ya!"

Score: 144

Someone was killed with a starter pistol today... Police think it may be race-related.

Score: 117

A black man was arrested for firing a starting rifle. They believe it was race related.

Score: 85

Why is Michael Phelps better than Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish off a race.

Score: 73

I used to race snails when I was younger... ... And I thought that removing the shells would make them go faster, however, it only made them more sluggish.

Score: 67

A tomato; a tap and a hat were having a race... the tap was running but the hat was on ahead while the tomato couldn't ketchup.

Score: 62

Imagine if the presidential race was an actual marathon Then we'd really have a Kenyan in office.

Score: 59

New Race Jokes

I was runner-up in a 10K race benefiting by my local Catholic church. Sister Mary ended up placing first. We spoke after the race and she really complimented my running skills. Such a kind and humble lady. She said my ability was second to nun.

Score: 4

Hey,what's a race thing and starts with n and ends in r Nascar

Score: 32

Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, and Adolf Hitler are all running a race, who wins? Hitler, cause he’s the racist

Score: 4

I heard the last two kids rescued raced eachother to the end of the cave... Rescuers reported the race ended in a Thai.

Score: 5

When does a race through Norway and Sweden end? When you cross the Finnish line.

Score: 9

What did the hot dog say when he won the race? I am the Weiner......

😂😂

Score: 5

What did the Russians receive when they lost the space race? A constellation prize

Score: 20

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Phelps can end a race.

Score: 12

why didn't the quickest sperm win the race to the womb? It drowned in gastric acid.

Score: 4

My snail entered a race, I took off his shell to make him faster. But It backfired. If anything it made him more sluggish...

Score: 7

Hitler was on to something..... How can you be racist if there is only one race.

Score: 10

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain can finish a race

Sorry if this has all ready been posted....

Score: 17

What is the number one thing white people cook better than any other race? Meth.

Score: 12

What did the Boston Marathon bombers accomplish that Hitler could not? They ended a race.

Score: 7

What is the difference between hitler and Usain bolt? (Dark joke) Usain bolt can finish a race

Score: 25

Which race is the master race? PC, obviously.

Score: 16

What do PC Master Race people identify as politically? The Alt-Tab.

Score: 16

Why was Hitler Disqualified from the marathon? He cant finish a Race.

Score: 6

If Eve doomed the entire human race for an apple... What would she do for a Klondike Bar?

Score: 9

Just realized my poorly-upvoted posts end up being the answer to "what did the driver do at the race track?" [erased]

Score: 4

I caught Usain Bolt's sweat towel after the race today and promptly rubbed it all over my face I was trying to get usain in my membrane

Score: 4

Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy? Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....

Score: 37

I used to own a pair of racehorses, named one-one & two-two. One-one won one race 22112

Score: 7

I heard when the sun dies it's going to take the human race with it... I guess the future's not so bright

Score: 13

Why didn't Hitler participate in marathons? He could never finish a race.

Score: 4

'One-One' was a racehorse. 'One-two' was one too. One-one won one race, and One-two won one too.

Score: 8

Why was Hitler never an athlete? He couldn't finish a race.

Score: 38

Two asians ran a race.. It was a Thai.

Score: 34

How did the tortoise win the race? He recruited dudes with some cross-hares.

Score: 10

What's the difference between Hitler and a runner? A runner can finish a race.

Score: 5

What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt? Usain Bolt can actually finish off a race

Score: 55

Before art school, Adolf Hitler tried programming, but he always got stuck on race conditions.

Score: 7

The three little words that make my heart race "Out for delivery"

Score: 5

I was invited to go play Dungeons and Dragons. I was told i needed to pick a race and a class for my character So I picked white and middle. Apparently that's not how its played, but I just think they know I'd win

Score: 3

IM A RACE CAR DRIVER I DRIVE A BUS WITH BLACKS,BROWNS,WHITES,OTHERS..

Score: 4

I got caught smuggling insects I was anxious. My heart began to race and I had butterflies in my stomach.

Score: 14

I got beaten up by a Jewish guy at a Formula one circuit today I only said that I was a part of the Mazda race

Score: 8

There was a race to see what company's planes flew fastest United Airlines beat everyone...

Score: 41

American airlines, Delta Air Lines, and United Airlines all had a race... United Airlines beat them all, united airlines beats EVERYBODY.

Score: 4

What did the judges say about the Russian athlete that lost a race? "Well, at least he Putin a good effort."

Score: 8

I looked up the results of a french rowing race Turns out my favorite boat got sank.

Score: 4

I'm not a racist but The best race is clearly the Grand Prix

Score: 7

I watched a documentary about the 1936 summer Olympics in Berlin It seemed like a wonderful event, but it made me uneasy every time the officials said, "Let's make this a good, clean race."

Score: 13

Why did the man think the cow with no legs would win the race? Because the steaks were low.

Score: 5

Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau run a 100-meter race... Trudeau easily overtakes Trump and wins.

Minutes later, the White House tweets a press note:

"President Trump won prestigious silver in US-Canada race. The Canadian showed up second-to-last."

Score: 5

What race does a cannibal like to eat most? Hebrews, because they're jewcy.

Score: 3

What's white, black, and red all over? A race war.

Score: 14

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt was able to finish a race.

Score: 4

Obama used the race card. Hillary used the woman card. America used the Trump card.

Score: 32

Why can't Sweden win a race? Because, it always sits right behind the Finnish line

Score: 13

What does a color blind racist say? I don't see color
I see race

Score: 3

'One two three' cat and 'Un deux trois' cat decided to have a boat race. Who won? 'One two three' cat, because 'Un deux trois' cat sank.

Score: 6

Bernie Sanders was asked why he is still in the race and he responded "there are still some states left for me." Those states are Denial, Anger, Grief, Bargaining and Acceptance.

Score: 32

Why are black jews the worst off race? They have to sit at the back of the oven.

Score: 30

What does a runner lose after winning a race? His breath.

Score: 5

How do you get whole race to hate you? Blow up the finish line. (I figured 2 years was long enough)

Score: 7

Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than Hitler? (OFFENSIVE) Because they actually managed to end a race.

Score: 16

Chris Christie just entered the race! He's gonna shut down Trump like the George Washington Bridge :-D

Score: 5

Is it okay to not like a certain race? My friends want me to run a 10k with them, but I want to run a 5k.

Score: 8

Whats the man difference between a drag show and a drag race? The phrase "I blew a tranny" means something *totally* different.

Score: 5