Statue Jokes

My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a Greek statue... Completely pale, no arms.

I can't believe Penn State took the Joe Paterno Statue down. They should have just turned it so it looked the other way.

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue. The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.

The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

Why did the French give the statue of liberty to America? They had no use for a statue with only one hand raised

Why did Snoop Dogg go to the store before he sculpted his statue? Fo' chisel.

What did the statue say when he met his long lost statue brother? He said, "Hey, is-statue?!"

Lord Nelson was 5ft 6 inches. His statue is 17ft 4 inches. That’s Horatio of 3:1.

After I stole the priceless statue and turned the corner, I collided into the female security guard's chest... ...It was a huge bust.

If an angel statue is removed from a fountain... ...would that make it a sans seraph font?

My girlfriend is beautiful, like a Greek statue, completely pale, great body, no arms

Why did the French give USA the Statue of Liberty? Because they have no use for a statue with only one arm up.

A terrorist tells the suicide bomber they shouldn't attack the Statue of Liberty, because she's "too easy" ... The bomber shrugs and replies "Eh, I'd still bang"

What does the Statue Of Liberty stand for She can't sit down.

What did one statue say to the other statue he hadn't seen in a while? "Statue bro?"

Why did they make the hand on the Statue 11 inches long. Well if they made it 12 inches it would have
been a foot.

"I don't understand what this statue of a man talking is supposed to mean" "It's confusing, but I think it's a figure of speech."

My attempt to steal that head of a statue failed. Well, I guess it was a bust.

A joke from my 5 year old brother... Q: What has four legs but doesn't move?

A: A statue of a dog!

Archaeologists discover the remains of a slave-worker under famous statue in Giza Reports claim he died of Asphinxiation

Not many people know that Nelson was 5' 6" in real life. His statue in Trafalgar Square is 17'4" That's a Horatio of around 3:1

What did Hermes do when he broke the statue? He Apollo-gized

What do you call a fountain whose angel statue has been stolen? A sans seraph font.

I work as a living statue. It's a permanent position.

Why did France give the Statue of Liberty to the United States? They had no use for one with one one hand up.

I don't mean to brag, but my girlfriend has a body like a Greek statue.. completely pale, no arms .

A Gem Joke that Rocks Diamond: Hey, Ruby, did you hear that I'm getting embedded into a statue next Tuesday?

Ruby: But we were going fishing on Tuesday! You sure you can't change the date?

Diamond: Sorry Ruby, it's set in stone.

What do they say about building an erotic statue? "If you build it they will come."

Penn State has taken down the statue of Joe Paterno. However, they have opted to leave his name on the library, as a reminder to stay quiet.

My body is like a Greek statue. Even if the staff at the museum don't think so.

What Did the Statue Say to the Other Statue? Is-tat-u?

What did the statue say to the other statue? Hey, S-tat-ue?

Why did the Pharaoh Build a Statue of Himself? Because he Sphinx he's the best.

Did you hear about the writer who was sitting under the big statue of the cross in Rio de Janeiro, working on his screenplay, when a gang beat him up and stole his laptop? Another victim of a cross site scripting attack.

What's an urban garden statue? A metronome.

I got a statue of Dwayne Johnson for outside my house Whenever anyone asks about it, I get to tell them it's in The Rock Garden

Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow? You would be to if you gave birth to a nation

I'm no confederate statue... But for the ladies, I always go down

I wanted to build a statue museum, but one statue didn't arrive. It was a bust.

The Babe Ruth statue at Yankee Stadium cost around $120,000 to make. That’s just a ballpark figure