Hilarious Toe Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Toe Jokes

Score: 165

Why did the Redgaurd's toe hurt? His Hammerfell

Score: 164

If a ring for a toe is a toe ring... Then shouldn't a ring for a finger be a *fingering*

Score: 162

My new girlfriend dumped me when she found out I was missing a toe Apparently she's lactose intolerant.

Score: 121

What did the cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis.

Score: 86

What did the brother cell say to the sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis

Score: 63

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto

Score: 60

A man walks into a psychologist's office.. A man walks into a psychologist's office wrapped head to toe in transparent cellophane...

The psychologist takes one look at him and says, 'I can clearly see your nuts.'

Score: 59

What did one cell say to his sister cell when he stubbed his toe? *Mitosis*

...

I'll show myself out.

Score: 57

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto

(Please don’t hurt me)

Score: 55

Girl, you're just like my big toe... I could bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.

Score: 49

My girlfriend reminds me of my pinky toe She's small, cute, and will probably end up getting banged on my coffee table tonight

Score: 45

Hey Cutie, you remind me of my little toe you know that? Why? Because Im cute?

No Because Im gonna bang you on the coffee table later on tonight. ;)

Score: 44

Why are eye jokes worse than toe jokes? Because toe jokes may be cheesy, but eye jokes are cornea.
(Biology students roll up)

However, they're still full of humour.

Score: 41

What does a microorganism say when they give birth to their sister? OW! My toe sis.

Score: 35

What do you call a Mexican guy with one rubber toe? Roberto

Score: 31

You remind me of my little toe Why because I'm so cute and tiny?

No, I will probably get drunk later and bang you the coffee table.

Score: 31

What do you call a Spanish man with a rubber toe? Roberto.

Score: 30

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe? Mi to sis

Score: 30

Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets? So they don't wake up the sleeping pills.

Score: 30

I've invented a new game. You use small breath mints as playing pieces in the old-fashioned match-3-in-a-row game. I'd be happy to teach you my strategy for winning this game, but I'll have to charge you a small fee: Call it a Tic Tac Tic-Tac-Toe Tactics Tax.

Score: 28

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe? Mitosis

Score: 25

Why are leggings and sand the same? They both get stuck in camel toe.

Score: 22

What you call toes that taste like mint? Tic-tac-toe!

My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

Score: 22

I once knew an Italian born with a toe growing out of his knee. So his mom, being hilarious, named him.... Just kidding, she left him at the hospital.

Score: 21

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Ruberto.

Score: 18

A nude man walks into a doctor's office. A nude man walks into a doctor's office wrapped in Cellophane from head to toe.

The doctor says, "Well, clearly I can see your nuts."

Score: 18

What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe? Mitosis!

Score: 17

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto

Score: 17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cutting your toe off with an axe

Score: 17

A man walks up to a girl in a bar and says "You remind me of my little toe" .
She says, "Is that because I'm small and cute?"
He says, "No, its because I'm going to bang you on the table later"

Score: 16

Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along.. he can call him missile toe.

Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.

Score: 16

Girl, imma treat you like I treat my pinky toe I'm going to bang you on all the furniture all night long

Score: 14

What is a Mexican with a rubber toe called Roberto

Score: 12

what did the brother cell says to his sister cell when she stomp on his toe? mitosis

Score: 10

What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis

Score: 10

What did the cell brother say to his cell sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis

EDIT: Sorry for the crappy pun, but at least it wasn't one about eggs. I don't tell those types of yolks. Sorry I just really crack myself up.

Score: 8

What do you see when a woman in the Army wears her pants too tight? Camo toe.

Score: 8

My grandpa kicked the bucket yesterday, but he's still in the hospital. His toe injury was more severe than originally thought.

Score: 7

Who do you call when you hurt your feet while driving? A Toe Truck

Score: 7

New Toe Jokes

Jimmy Hendrix could play the guitar with his teeth But Kurt Cobain could play the shotgun with his toe

Score: 0

I named my pinky toe "Corner Finder" (Do you really need a punchline?)

Score: 0

I have a sister, and I love genetics. So whenever she steps on my toe accidentally, I say “Ow, you stepped on mitosis!”

Score: 3

When Your Sister Steps On Your Toe And It Splits Into Two. Ow, Mitosis!

Score: 2

What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis.

Score: 4

What do you call a picture of a prosthetic big toe? A faux toe photo.

Score: 2

What do you call someone with no shins? Tony.

(Toe-knee).

Score: 2

What are your best toe amputation jokes? Co worker lost a toe. Need lots of jokes. Already used up tow jokes about towing his car

Score: 6

Did you hear about the Irish guy with a metal detector? He dug 25 meters down where he discovered he was wearing steel toe cap boots

Score: 1

My 87 year old, retired navy grandpa told this joke at family dinner after I graduated physician assistant school: "Well did they teach you how to make a hormone?" Step on her toe

Score: 4

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto

Edit: Whenever this gets reposted, nobody ever says "Ah, good old #___." I'm actually very curious as to the number of this joke and I would be very delighted if someone would enlighten me.

Score: 1

Baby, you're like my big toe... I'm gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.

Score: 3

Are you my big toe? Because i want to bang you on every piece of furniture in IKEA.

Score: 2

I hurt my foot driving the other day . so I called the toe company

Score: 4

Next time I hit the club, I'm coloring myself head to toe with a permanent marker, and that's all I'll wear. Because every girl's crazy 'bout a Sharpie-dressed man.

Score: 4

What do you call bread with your toe jam spread all over it? Toest

Score: 3

What did the cell say to its sister when she stepped on its foot? Ouch! My toe, sis!

Score: 5

I just clipped the worst ingrown toe-nail... It was a feet.

Score: 3

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do candy makers get? Tic tac toe.

Score: 4

What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis.

Score: 2

What do you use to kick a canister of mints? your tic-tac toe

Score: 3

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe? "Hey my-toe-sis!"

Score: 6

What did Voldemort say when stubbed his toe trying to enter Hogwarts? "Dumb 'ol door!"

Score: 2

Dancing wizard and a blistered foot. What spell does a dancing wizard cast on a blistered foot?

Heal Toe!!

Score: 1

How do you make a Canadian apologize? Step on his toe.

Score: 4

What do you call a hispanic man with a rubber toe? Roberto

Score: 2

What did the cell say when its sister stepped on it's toe? Mitosis!

Score: 4

What's it called when you wear army green socks? Camo-Toe!

Score: 1

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office covered head to toe in cellophane. The psychiatrist says, "Sir, I can clearly see you're nuts."

Score: 3

What did a cell say to his sister cell, when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!

Score: 5

A guy at work lost his thumb and had to replace it with his big toe. (True Story) Now we ask to get "your foot off the table" when he's eating.

Score: 2