Hilarious Zoo Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Zoo Jokes

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in the cage Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

Score: 15888

At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures. I asked the keeper, 'How did that toast get into the cage?'

'It was bread in captivity' she replied.

Score: 7420

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the zoo.

Score: 1943

Score: 1650

I have the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.

Score: 1252

What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA? Thrown out of the petting zoo

Score: 1134

My new girlfriend works at the Zoo. I think she is a keeper.

Score: 910

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep? ...banned from the petting zoo...

Score: 885

Carl opened a zoo. Carl opened a zoo and made the entry fee $60. No one turned up.

Carl made the entry fee $30. Yet again, no one turned up.

So, Carl made the zoo free to enter, soon enough, it was full.

Carl shut the gates, released the lions, and made the exit fee $60.

Score: 827

What happens when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo.

Score: 765

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? ...banned from the zoo. (Learned that the hard way)

Score: 591

I went to a French zoo There was a baguette in a cage, so I asked the keeper what that was about and apparently it was bread in captivity. (All credit to the wife for that one)

Score: 507

My new girlfriend works at the zoo… I think she's a keeper…

Score: 497

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? A lifetime ban from the petting zoo.

Score: 381

My father has the heart of a lion... And also a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 362

I went to the zoo today and saw a bagel locked up in a cage. Apparently it was bread in captivity.

Score: 327

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage I guess you could say it was bread in captivity

Score: 322

Just back from the zoo. Saw a slice of toast lying in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.

Score: 300

A Poem Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Stop memes about Harambe

-Cincinnati Zoo

Score: 297

I went to the zoo the other day and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity

Score: 283

What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo.

Score: 266

What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo...

Score: 239

I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said "Bread in captivity".

Score: 233

What do you get when you cross human DNA with goat DNA? A ban from the petting zoo.

Score: 226

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo.

Score: 222

My grandfather has the heart of a lion, ... and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo.

Score: 220

I have the eyes of a hawk, the heart of a lion, the ears of a fox And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 217

What do you get when you cross goat DNA with human DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo

Score: 208

I went to a zoo one time and all they had was a dog. It was a shih tzu.

Score: 206

What do you get when you mix human DNA with animal DNA? Kicked out of the zoo.

Score: 204

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a donkey? Kicked out of the petting zoo :(

Score: 161

I got fired form the zoo. Apparently the sign "Don't feed the animals" was only meant for the visitors.

Score: 158

I've got the eye of the tiger, the heart of the lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 137

I have the heart of a lion... and a lifelong ban from the zoo.

Score: 131

I took a job at a zoo performing elephant circumcisions The benefits aren't great, but the tips are huge.

Score: 102

I went to a zoo the other day. The only animal they had was a dog It was a shitzu.

Score: 99

A man goes to a zoo and is disappointed to find it has only one animal, a dog It's a Shih Tzu.

Score: 98

I went to a zoo where there was only one animal and it was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

Score: 85

I have the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from the Oregon Zoo

Score: 62

A man walks into a zoo But he finds no animals, except a dog. He finds a zookeeper and asks him, "what's so special about this dog that you guys got rid of the other animals?"

The zookeeper replies, "Nothing, it's just a shitzu."

Score: 61

New Zoo Jokes

Did you know I had the heart of a lion? I also have a lifetime ban from Toronto Zoo

Score: 9

A man and his son walk into a zoo and the only animal is a dog The man looks to his son and says "this is a ShihTzu"

Score: 8

Just came from the zoo and I saw some toast in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.

Score: 13

Guys, I’ve got the heart of a lion! And a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo

Score: 40

What did the animal say when it was told to leave the zoo? Fine! Alpaca my bags.

Score: 5

My grandpa has the heart of a lion He's not allowed back into the Detroit Zoo.

Score: 3

What do you call a zoo of living skeletons? Thoracic Park

Score: 7

My Grandfather has the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from my local zoo.

Score: 5

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the zoo...

Score: 14

What do you get when you cross goat DNA with human DNA? From experience You'll get kicked out of the petting zoo.

Score: 5

I took my niece to the zoo the other day... The only animal there was a small, scruffy looking dog.

I called the zookeeper over.

"What's with the scruffy old dog? Why is that the only animal?"

"It's a Shih-Tzu"

Score: 8

The Cincinnati zoo is putting in a new shooting range for it's employees. Ooh, sorry I misread that. They are just getting a new gorilla.

Score: 4

I went to the zoo but they just had a dog. It was a shitzu.

Score: 6

A man goes to the zoo and the only animal in there is a dog... ...It was a Shih Tzu.

Score: 18

If a zoo had a half man half horse... Do you think it would be the centaur of attention?

Score: 44

I didnt know a shitzu was a dog I thought it was a zoo with no animals in it

Score: 11

You could say I have the heart of a lion... I also have a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 19

A rare white koala was born yesterday in an Australian zoo. At first they thought it was an albino, but realized that it didn't meet the koalifications.

Score: 4

A gorilla dies of old age at the zoo. His name wasn't Harambe.

Score: 4

I recently went to a zoo, and the only animal on display was a dog. It was a shih tzu.

Score: 6

I've got the memory of an elephant. I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.

Score: 25

I used to work at the zoo circumcising elephants the job was awful, but the tips were huge

Score: 19

A gorilla walks into a bar. He's not the smartest gorilla, but ignorance is bliss at the zoo.

Score: 5

A man walked into a zoo, but the only animal was a dog... It was a Shih Tzu

Score: 10

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo

Score: 31

Did you hear about the Panda at the Philadelphia Zoo who had his meal time changed? He was bamboo-zled.

Score: 7

What do you get when you insert human DNA in a goat? Banned from the petting zoo

Score: 28

What do you get if you cross Human DNA and Panda DNA? Banned from the zoo. Trust me, I found out the hard way.

Score: 9

I have the heart of a lion and the eye of a tiger. And also a lifetime ban from the zoo

Score: 4

BREAKING: Tiger kills worker in an enclosure at UK zoo park Man he took that DUI hard

Score: 4

What happens when you mix chimpanzee and human DNA? You get kicked out of the zoo.

Score: 5

Wow! I can't believe it's been almost a year since Harambe died. For the anniversary of his death, Cincinnati Zoo should have a sale. Discount for Harambe

Score: 5

I got the veterinarian at the zoo fired after he told me about performing a rectal exam. I promptly called the zoo administrators and reported the HIPPO violation.

Score: 3

The zoo manager asks the vet over the phone "What can we give to our elephant if it has diarrhea?"

"Space. A lot of space" answered the vet

Score: 3

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from out local zoo.

Score: 6

My grandpa has got the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the zoo.

Score: 34

My father has a heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo

Score: 13

My uncle has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

Score: 5

I went to a zoo today... The zoo was so bad it only had one dog.
It was a Shih-Tzu.

Score: 4

What do you get when you cross a cheese grater with a giraffe? A ban from the zoo.

Score: 4

My Grandfather My Grandfather is a really cool guy. He has a heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 6

What do you get when you cross a tiger with a human? Kicked out of the zoo and fined 1,000 dollars

Score: 7

I went to the zoo today. They had a yaks in the wildebeest exhibit. Did they really think I would fall for fake gnus?

Score: 3

All of the lions went missing from my local zoo The zoo's ok, they lost nothing but their pride.

Score: 7

I went to the zoo but all it had was a dog It was a Shih Tzu

Score: 3

My dad has the heart of a lion And a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

Score: 4

Who Told The Gorilla That He Couldn’t Go To The Ballet? The Zoo worker at Cincinnati Zoo.

Score: 4

I went to a zoo and there turned out to be only a dog in it. It was a shitzu.

Score: 15

I went to the Zoo the other day and there was a loaf of Hovis in the Lion enclosure - so I went up to the zookeeper and said "What's that doing in there?"

and he said "That? That's bread in captivity"

Score: 4

What do you get if you cross human and goat DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo

Score: 2

What's the difference between a Stormtrooper and a Zoo Keeper? The Storm Trooper would have missed harambe

Score: 3

My doctor sang this to me at my birthday "Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You have terminal cancer. Your family'll miss you"

Score: 2

A muslim and his wife are chatting during dinner Wife: Did you hear about the gorilla that got shot in the zoo?
Husband: Wait what are you eating?
Wife: Pork
Husband: Thats haram bae.
Wife: Oh so you did hear about it

Score: 4

A man wakes up from a five year coma... Doctor: Sir you've been out for a long time and I'm afraid I have some terrible news.

Patient: Oh I don't mind as long as I get to see my favorite gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo

Score: 38

The other day I went to the zoo All I saw was a dog.

It was a shitzu

Score: 17

My dad has the heart of a lion, And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 20

What do you get when you cross a human with a donkey? Banned from the petting zoo

Score: 5

What do you get when you put human DNA in a monkey? A lifetime ban from the Zoo

Score: 31

What do you get if you put human DNA in a donkey? Banned from the zoo.

Score: 49

Did you here about the new zoo? They put a fence around Iowa.

Score: 2