2018 Jokes

Contents

Funniest 2018 Jokes

2013: Didn't jog - 2014: Didn't jog - 2015: Didn't jog - 2016: Didn't jog - 2017: Didn’t jog - 2018: Didn’t jog - 2019: Still haven’t jogged This is a running joke

Score: 6917

Why is Trump excited Russia was banned from the 2018 Winter Olympics? It makes it easier to decide who to cheer for

Score: 888

The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed The label says the expiry date is June 2018.

I'm so glad they dug it up just in time

Score: 780
Funny 2018 Jokes
Score: 591

I was in the library the other day when a black man came up to me and asked me where the colored printers were? I replied, "Dude, it's 2018, you can use whatever printer you want."

Score: 545

I'm going to buy a 6k monitor for 2018 It's my new year's resolution.

Score: 543

After 23 school shootings in 2018 We did it. We finally banned straws.

Score: 340

The evolution of tide pods In 2017 tids pods cleaned clothes but in 2018 it cleans the gene pool

Score: 257

I was standing in a library And a black dude walks up to me and asked if i knew where the colored printer was. I told him "dude, it's almost 2018, use any printer you want."

Score: 197

If some part of your job feels utterly pointless, remember Putin campaigned for the 2018 elections.

Score: 54

A black guy in a library asked me where the coloured printer was. I replied, "Mate, it's 2018... You can use any printer you want!"

Score: 32

Parents in 1998: Don't believe everything you read on the internet Parents in 2018: Did you know that dogs will die if you feed them ice cubes?

Score: 30

The Trump Years in a Nutshell 2016: Trump doesn't stand a chance.
2017: Trump's still trying?
2018: "Hey, are you guys going to watch the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins"

Score: 29

iPhone's from the future. 2016: iPhone 7=no headphone jack

2017: iPhone 8=no battery

2018: iPhone 9=no screen

2019: iPhone 10=no phone at all, just pay Apple $1000

Score: 26

1848: You Have Died of Dysentery 2018: You Have Died From Having To Pump Your Own Gas

Score: 23

So 2018 is the Chinese year of the dog... Looks like it's gonna be ruff

Score: 21

Walmart announced the closing of 175 stores in 2018 Putting 12 cashiers out of work

Score: 21

"When I see Donald Trump..." - Edinburgh Fringe 2018 When I see Donald Trump I get the same thought in my head as I get after a particularly painful bikini wax.

Bush wasn’t that bad.

​

Angela Barnes, Pleasance Courtyard, 7.15pm


​

Score: 19

It's almost 2018! My New Year's revolution is to proofread more.

Score: 18

I was studying in the library today when a black guy came up to me and asked me where the colored printers were. I replied: "Dude, it's 2018, you can use whatever printer you want."

Score: 16

My grandfather was arrested numerous times for selling a phony life lengthening drug... Once in 1888, again in 1922, a third time in 1954, and another time in January 2018

Score: 15

2016 Denial 2017 Anger

2018 Bargaining

2019 Depression

2020 Acceptance

Score: 14

Russian Elections Ministry of Russian election announcement: Elections of Vladimir Putin will commence as planned in 2018.

Score: 14

My crush has a lot in common with the 2018 Chevrolet Camero’s 0% APR financing plan There’s no interest 😎

Score: 14

I hate it when people talk about their 'spirit animals' It's 2018, you can say fursona.

Score: 12

The 2018 STAR WARS movie isn't part of a trilogy... ...it's a Solo film

Score: 10

Which country brought the most competitors to the 2018 Winter Olympics? Brazil. They brought 8 Brazilian athletes.

Score: 10

What did the Helsinki Summit have in common with the 2018 World Cup? Nobody was playing for the USA.

Score: 10

How to turn on a phone in 2018 With a finger or a facial

Score: 10

Happy New Year #2018 first.

Score: 9

Why will the 2018 world cup in Russia be so cold? There's no Chile in it.

Score: 9

An African American guy in College ... Asks a white dude:
- Hey man where’s the color printer?
Dude replies:
- Man, it’s 2018, you can use any printer you want!

Score: 8

I will do something good for my country in year 2018 I will leave the country.

Score: 5

2018 kids won't get this Club penguin

Score: 4

My 2018 health insurance premiums went up 40% but I'll be paying 30% less than the previous year. Because I won't have any money left for food or rent so I'll probably die half way through the year.

Score: 4

Coming out of the closet in 2018 Mom.. Dad.... I have to tell you something and you may not like it.... sometimes when I visit the neighbor boy... we lock the door to his room.. and watch the NFL

Score: 3

What do you call 23 men watching the World Cup 2018? The Scotland National Team.

Score: 3

Music in 2018 is like candy Throw away the wrappers!

Score: 2

In 1970 they said that in 30 years we'd be vacationing on the moon. It's 2018 and instead we're talking about vacationing on Mars some day.

Score: 1

Mid 2018 me: So who’s the DLC Characters for Smash Bros Ultimate? Present Me: Let’s just say you’ll never see it coming

Score: 1

Popular Topics

New 2018 Jokes

Scientists set to release miracle fat lost drug in 2018 They are calling it “stop eating so much”

Score: 0

Scientists have found a chemical in marijuana that can be used to develop a cheap printer ink. The first *stoner* cartridges ship in early 2018.

Score: 1

Popular Topics