4 Year Old Jokes

Why was the anti-vaxxer‘s 4 year old child crying? Midlife crisis

A joke my 4 year old came up with today... Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"

Me: "I dunno, what?"

Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!"

I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone "Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"

"No" she sobbed

I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage

Guess who‘s no longer a 24 year old virgin... ...i turned 25 yesterday.

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender
"I'll have a pint please"

The bartender looks him up and down and laughs
"You're way too young!"

"How you know my name!"

A 94 year old man decided to divorce his 93 old wife... They went to the lawyer together. When he asked why they were divorcing at such an old age, the woman replied, "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead".

What do you call a 70 year old man trapped in the emotional state of a 14 year old girl? Mr. President.

Typical day with a zero social filter 4 year old. kijk

My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one... Why did the banana go to the hospital?


Because he wasn't peeling very well.

my 14 year old came back with this after his biology class Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane?
A. osmoses

I overheard my 14 year old daughter telling this joke to a friend. -"Every time I say something, you say the word addicted"

-"ok"

-"Drugs"

-"Addicted"

-"Alcohol"

-"Addicted"

-"What slapped you across the face last night? "

" Addicted"

Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road? He wanted to eat some chicken.

What do women astronauts and my 14 year old daughter have in common? "I have nothing to wear!"

What's the difference between a 4 year girl and a 40 year old woman? A 4 year old's favourite toy is a rubber body without any genitals. A 40 year old's favourite toy is a rubber genital without any body.

So my girlfriend wants to roleplay as a 14 year old... I told her "why bother? You'll be 14 in a few years anyway"

My 4 year old nephew's favourite joke. Knock knock!

who's there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, You're a poo!

Followed by devious laughter.

whats the difference between my driveway and 14 year old daughter? ... I pull out of my driveway

(All credit goes to my 4 year old niece) How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentickles!

How can you tell if a 14 year old smokes weed? Just wait. They'll tell you.

A 4 year old boy examined his testicles... while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet', she replied

Even at the age of 46, I have the body of a 24 year old. I'm not here to brag, does anyone need a 24 year old's body while it's still warm?

Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can pole vault

What does a 74 year old woman taste like? Depends.

My 14 year old is finally taking an interest in me. Last night he asked me my date of birth. Then he asked me what street I grew up on.

This morning he even asked where I met his mom and what was the name of my first pet! ❤❤❤❤❤

Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying? Midlife crisis.

What does a 4 year old gender fluid child and a vegan cat have in common? We both know who's making the decision...

Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying? He had a midlife crisis.

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.



Too soon?

What's the difference between a pound of cocaine and a 4 year old child? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a pound of cocaine fall out the window.

I have been messaging some 14 year old cutie. Last night she told me she was an undercover cop. How cool is that for such a young age!

So a 14 year old girl goes to the doctor for a checkup... He puts the stethoscope up to her heart and says,

"Big breaths."

And she says,

"Thankth! I grew them mythelf!"

14 year old girls these days be like "I drink because I wanna forget." What are you trying to forget? The multiplication table?

Why did the vampire have to get glasses? Because he was blind as a bat!

(My 4 year old sister came up with this one yesterday)

Why was the sand wet? Because the sea-weed.

*First joke my 4 year old son learnt

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

From my 4 year old: What do you call a penguin that can't win? A peng-lose!

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of coke? Eric Clapton would've never let a bag of coke fall out the window

What is the difference between a 14 year old boy in the U.S. and one in Mexico? A 14 year old boy in the U.S. is a freshman and one in Mexico is a señor

Courtesy of 4 year old daughter: What do you call a T-Rex the day after he lifts weights? A Dino Sore.