Hilarious Actor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Actor Jokes

What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house? Mortgage freeman.

Score: 280

People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence. I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.

Score: 163

Score: 163

Young Actor: "Dad, guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years." Father: "Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part."

Score: 102

Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred

Score: 85

As an aspiring actor, I was somewhat surprised when I got detained by airport security today... All I said was that I was in town to shoot a pilot...

Score: 82

Did you hear about the actor that fell through the floor boards? He was just going through a stage.

Score: 76

That World Series game was so long... When it started Kevin Spacey was still a respected actor.

Score: 68

[OC] A notoriously bad stage actor died recently. The vehicle carrying his casket broke down on the way to the funeral, allowing his critics, for one last time, to state that he needed to rehearse.

Score: 64

If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life.... Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?

Score: 48

Silent Actor **Young Actor:** "Dad, guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years."

**Father:** "Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part."

Score: 47

What do you call an actor that has just paid off his house? Mortgage Freeman

Score: 38

What famous actor is like a jail cell full of white guys? Niggaless Cage

(My girlfriend came up with this today. We're not racist I swear. This just cracked me up.)

Score: 32

Did you guys hear about the C++ developer that wanted to become a famous actor? He kept getting type cast.

Score: 30

I can't even picture my favorite actor going to jail now. But if he does, he'll have to change his name to Morgan Man.

Score: 28

What's the difference between a politician and an actor? One acts solely for money, the other is the actor.

Score: 22

Did ABC purposefully mix up the Best Picture announcement in an effort to drive ratings? After some careful research I've found nearly everybody on that stage to be a paid actor!

Score: 22

The great English actor Colin Firth walks into a bar. Who walks in after him? Colin Thecond

Score: 18

What famous actor pole-vaults over trees? John TreeVolta

Score: 14

My actor friend got fired from his lead role in a play because of his cocaine addiction. He kept blowing his lines.

Score: 14

Why did the overweight actor fall through the theater floor? It was just a stage he was going through

Score: 12

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger now that he's not an actor? An exterminator

Score: 12

I just met the guy in all those pain reliever commercials on TV It turns out that he’s an aspirin actor.

Score: 12

During the shooting of a movie... Director: Now we'll let the lion out of the cage and he'll chase but don't worry he won't eat you.

Actor: What makes you so sure?

Director: It's in the script.

Actor: Has the lion read the script?

Score: 11

Which black actor supports the right to bear arms? More gun, free man.

Score: 11

The actor of Hagrid asked me why I want his signature I said: "I am a giant fan!"

Score: 11

Why did the actor fall through the floor...? It was just a stage he was going through.

Score: 11

A woman married four times: to a tycoon, an actor, a preacher, and an undertaker. One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.

Score: 11

Is there a more Dutch sounding actor than Tom Holland? Yes, there's Tom Hollander.

Score: 11

Who's the most canadian actor? T. Hanks

Score: 10

What do you call an occurence where an old actor forgets his lines? Onset Dementia

Score: 5

An actor had been struggling to find work . . . He would get repeatedly rejected from every audition. One day he tried out for a role as a vampire. The casting director told him he had never seen anyone suck so bad.

Score: 3

What so you call an actor who paid of his house Mortgage freeman (i know its bad)

Score: 3

I just don't know about this actor they have playing Pennywise in the new IT movie... He's got some big shoes to fill.

Score: 3

My wife Emily and I have a celebrity exemption rule for extramarital affairs. Evidently she thought it included the actor playing George in the local production of "Our Town."

Score: 3

You're always going to be the best version of you! Unless, of course, there's an actor better at being you than you are at being you.

Score: 3

Why was John F. Kennedy secretly a more successful actor than Ronald Reagan? He always knew how to take the perfect headshot.

Score: 3

What was the name of the actor that played the ship in the titanic? Tom cruise

Score: 2

Which actor is known for his brilliance at mathematics? Add'em Sandler

Score: 2

Actor "What do you do for a living?"

"Im an Actor?"

"Oh really!, what restaurant do you work at?"

Score: 2

New Actor Jokes

In the early 90's, comedian Sarah Silverman and actor Ricky Schroder almost got married. But she didn't want to change her name to Sarah Silverspoonsman.

Score: 1

What actor refuses to work in the cold Vincent de no frio

Score: 2

Due to the rising threat of the global pandemic, famed Hollywood actor Christopher Walken is promoting awareness.. ..By changing his name to Christopher Stay-in.

Score: 1

So I added a famous person on xbox A while back I added Paul Walker the actor famous for the fast an the furious franchise as a friend on my xbox an all he does is spend all of his time on the dashboard.

Score: 0

What’s the name of the actor who played Joker in the new movie? Joking Phoenix!

Score: 0

The British public was asked today which Hollywood actor should replace the prime minister and save Britain. The votes were unanimous. Chuck Boris

Score: 1

The Batman actor's talent agent was just arrested. He's fine, he made Bale.

Score: 1

If the comic strip Kathy were to be adapted into a TV show, which actor would play Irving, her love interest? I'm not sure, but it would have to be a Huge Ack-man.

Score: 1

Why did the actor that employed a dwarf to drive him around never get any role? Because he had too little to chauffeur himself.

Score: 2

A notoriously bad stage actor died recently. The vehicle carrying his casket broke down on the way to the funeral, allowing his critics, for one last time, to state that he needed to rehearse.

Score: 1

The other day I was casting for a movie about my life I'd chosen the actor to play my father, but he said "I don't wanna be your father"

To which I replied "Perfect, you already know your lines"

Score: 2

An actor walks into a bar He says, "can I get some glow tape on this thing?"

Score: 1

What do you call an actor that scuba dives? Johnny Depth

Score: 2

I remember hearing about this actor that lost all of his money and was locked up after a huge scandal... I'm pretty sure it was Nicolas Cage.

Score: 1

Best actor of all time in human history. Also Starring

Score: 1