Hilarious Alzheimer's Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Alzheimer's Jokes

How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to tell a joke? How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take to tell a joke?

Score: 2598

Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer’s. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.

Score: 2439

Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease. Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

Score: 1126

Score: 905

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

Score: 610

"Knock knock" "Who's there?"
"Dave"
"Dave who?"
Dave had to hold back tears as he realised his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse

Score: 374

Can’t believe it’s nearly 1996 and they haven’t found a cure for Alzheimer’s

Score: 342

Knock knock. “Who’s there”. “Jimmy”. “Jimmy Who” said Jimmy’s grandmother, whose crippling Alzheimer’s has robbed her of all her memories.

Score: 223

Patient: "Gimme the bad news first!" Doctor: "You have AIDS."

Patient: "What's the good news?"

Doctor: "You have alzheimer's."

Patient: "Well that's not so bad, at least I don't have AIDS."

Score: 209

What did Rihanna say to her Grandmother with Alzheimer's? Oh nana, What's my name?

Score: 199

My doctor diagnosed me with cancer and Alzheimer's. At least it isn't cancer.

Score: 183

Knock, Knock Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to burst into tears as his grandmothers Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer recognize him.

Score: 179

Doctor: “I’ve got very bad news - you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s.” Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have cancer.”

Score: 160

Roses are red, Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's

To get to the other side

Score: 135

\r\jokes has the funniest most original content But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Score: 109

If you have Alzheimer's, look on the bright side… …at least you can hide your own Easter Eggs.

Score: 97

Knock Knock Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave walked away crying because his grandpa had Alzheimer's.

Score: 91

What’s the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and Diarrhea. Your running, but can’t remember where.

Score: 90

What's the worst combination of two sicknesses? Diarrhea and alzheimer. You are running but you don't know where.

Score: 82

A man with Alzheimer's walks into a bar. A man with Alzheimer's walks into a bar.

Score: 80

I Don't care what any of you say.. My Alzheimer's lets me enjoy this site everyday

Score: 76

My grandfather with alzheimer died last year when my family couldn’t remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

Score: 76

Preston: Knock Knock! Mom: Who's There

Preston: Preston.

Mom: Preston who?

Preston let out a disheartening sigh as he walked away from the door, knowing his mother's Alzheimer's was getting worse.

Score: 75

I have AIDS and Alzheimer's Thank goodness I don't have AIDS

Score: 73

I got pulled over by a cop with alzheimer’s. He said, “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Score: 69

An old man went to the doctor The doctor says "I'm afraid I have bad news. You have cancer... And you have alzheimer's."

The old man says "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

Score: 62

I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's disease She says she doesn't remember what she ever saw in me

Score: 56

Hey grandson, what's the name of that german man who makes me go crazy? Alzheimer, grandma, Alzheimer...

Score: 46

What's the most-clicked link on the Alzheimer's support website? Forgot Your Password?

Score: 45

"Knock knock" "Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"John"

"John who?"

John began to sob softly to himself, as his mother's Alzheimer's had gotten worse.

Score: 45

Want to hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Want to hear a joke about Alzheimer's?

Score: 34

My grandfather said, "If I ever get alzheimer's I'll kill myself" I said "I know gramps, you told me that already"

Score: 27

Yesterday, my grandpa bought a book called "how to prevent Alzheimer's disease" He bought one today, too.

Score: 26

Knock Knock Person 1: Knock Knock!

Person 2: Who's there?

Person 1: Alzheimer's.

Person 2: Alzheimer's who?

Person 1: Knock Knock!

Score: 26

When my granddad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I can still remember the very first thing I said to him. “Have you got that five grand I lent you?”

Score: 24

There are 3 perks of having Alzheimer 1. You can make new friends every day.
2. You can look for the Easter eggs you hid yourself.
3. You can make new friends every day.

Score: 23

I like my jokes like I like my Alzheimer's I like my jokes like I like my Alzheimer's

Score: 18

Q: What's the good part about having alzheimer's? You can hide your own easter eggs.

Score: 15

Ladies and gentlemen, we finally found a cure for Alzheimer's. Wait, what did we do again?

Score: 15

I went to see my doctor today, apparently I have alzheimer's. On the plus side, at least I didn't have alzheimer's.

Score: 14

New Alzheimer's Jokes

What’s the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but you can’t remember where.

Score: 4

Do you know what having Alzheimer's is good for? You have to remember the game to lose.

Score: 0

What do you call a movie about Alzheimer's Disease? Still Alice.



What do you call a movie about Parkinson's Disease?



Stay Still Alice

Score: 0

I was going to make an Alzheimer’s joke But I forgot it

Score: 0

An elderly man goes to the doctor to have an examination done. Afterwards, the doctor tells the man, "I'm deeply sorry, sir, but it appears that you have cancer, as well as Alzheimer's disease."

The man says, "Phew! At least I just have that and not cancer!"

Score: 1

My doctor recently diagnosed me with Alzheimer's disease... but I think he was just trying to tell me something I don't know.

Score: 1

So I asked my grandma where the office is located to take my grandpa for his Alzheimer’s appointment She forgot. Guess the appointments for 2 now.

Score: 1

What did one Alzheimer's patient say to the other? Damnit, I forgot the punchline.

Score: 3

I was told a great joke about Alzheimer‘s at work today! I just can’t remember the punchline.

Score: 2

My grandfather had Alzheimer’s, you’ll never guess what he told me! My grandfather had Alzheimer’s, you’ll never guess what he told me!

Score: 2

A man with Alzheimer's is telling a joke A man with Alzheimer's is telling a joke

Score: 5

My grandmother with Alzheimer's walks into a bar Pineapple

Score: 3

What does a person with Alzheimer's say when they order a coffee? I'm sorry, who are you again?

Score: 2

What’s the good part about having Alzheimer’s? You meet new people every day.

Score: 0

My grandfather with Alzheimer's was always looking on the bright side. I remember him once saying to me, “Hey, I may have Alzheimer's but at least I don’t have Alzheimer's.”

Score: 1

One day Dave goes up to Frank at work "Hey buddy," says Dave, "do you know anybody at work who has Alzheimer's?"

"Why do you want to know?" asks Frank

"Because I need to borrow some money," says Dave.

Score: 1

My doctor told me yesterday that I'm at high risk for either Alzheimer's or Dementia... I can't remember which.

Score: 9

I was going to make an alzheimer's joke but I forgot it

Score: 3

A doctor says to his patient, "I am afraid you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease." The patient replies, "That sucks, but at least I don't have cancer!"

Score: 3

Alzheimer and diarrhoea together are the worst. You run to the toilet but can't remember why.

Score: 1

An old man goes to his doctor. The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's."

And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."

Score: 7

"Son, do you know why I pulled you over?" - Cop with Alzheimer's trying to play it cool.

Score: 12

What was Alzheimer's first name? You don't remember? That's how it begins.

Score: 7

Apparently today is World Alzheimer's day I totally forgot

Score: 3

What's worst about learning you have Alzheimer's? It doesn't just happen once

Score: 10

'What do we want?' A cure for Alzheimer's

When do we want it?

What????

Score: 5

Doc: i have good news and bad news Patient: bad news first

Doc: you have Alzheimer's

Patient: bad news first

Score: 5

A man suffering from Alzheimer's leaves a bakery... ...and as he walks out the door the baker yells 'You forgotch'ya focaccia!'

(came from a dream i had. the GF insists its terrible but ill keep using it when i introduce it to her friends)

Score: 4

2 people have Alzheimer's. One asks: "What do you call 2 people with Alheimer's?"

"What?"

"What?"

Score: 2

The doctor told the patient: "You have cancer and alzheimer" the patient replied: "Well at least i don't have cancer"

Score: 2

Did you hear the one about the guy with Alzheimer's? Did you hear the about the guy with Alzheimer's?

Score: 3

What's an Alzheimer's sufferer's least favorite film? Total Recall

Score: 5

Welcome to the Alzheimer's Society website. Please enter your 24 character password .

Score: 2

Did you hear the one about the boxer with Alzheimer's He forgot the punchline

Score: 1

I think I have Alzheimer's... I don't remember being this magnificent.

Score: 4

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Interrupting Alzheimer's Patient."
"Interrupting Alzheimer's Pa-"
"Knock, knock."

Score: 3

Sonny, sonny, what's the name of that German that hides our things around the house? Alzheimer, granny, Alzheimer!

Score: 6

At the Alzheimer's Rally WHAT DO WE WANT!?!

AN ALZHEIMER'S CURE!!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT!?!

WANT WHAT!?!

Score: 2

My GF was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and a week later broke up with me. She said she didn't know who I was anymore.

Score: 3

Doctor: "I have really bad news. You have cancer and Alzheimer's." Patient:"well....At least I don't have cancer"

Score: 3

I'm jealous of my grandmother with Alzheimer's. She's always surrounded by people she doesn't even know who care so much about her.

Score: 2

My grandfather had Alzheimer's... and one day we were

Score: 1

A man goes to the doctor.. The doctor tells him: "I have some bad news: you have Alzheimer's."

The man says " well at least I don't have Alzheimer's"

Score: 3

A guy with Alzheimer's asked me to tell him a joke Knock knock

Who's there?

Me.

Who are you again?

Score: 3

Merry Christmas! From everyone at the Alzheimer's society.

Score: 4

Hey I just met you Hey I just met you

And this is crazy

I have Alzheimer's

Hey I just met you

Score: 1

First rule of Alzheimer's club? Don't talk about chess club.

Score: 8

Said this joke in a dream and I woke up laughing. What's the cure for baseball?

Alzheimer's.

Score: 1

The Alzheimer's Society has a special greeting for us all today: Happy Easter!

Score: 4

I heard today is World Alzheimer's Day Sorry, I just forgot.

Score: 2

Grandad: hey Sonny, what's the name of that German? Grandson: for the thousandth time grandad, it's Alzheimer

Score: 2

What are the two types of people who love the words "Who, what, when, where and why?" English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

Score: 2

In my old age I may have developed alzheimer's But at least I don't have alzheimer's.

Score: 1