Hilarious Amazon Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Amazon Jokes

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon today I'll let you know.

Score: 13205

Score: 9082

I ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Score: 7900

You know the razor blade works... when there are no reviews for it on Amazon.

Score: 5215

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Score: 2722

I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know

Score: 1663

What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates

Score: 1286

I tried to look up lighters in Amazon. All they had was 13,749 matches.

Score: 1279

I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....... I will keep you posted.

Score: 1208

If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together would they call it Amazon Web Services?

Score: 491

I bought the president of Brazil an Apple TV for the holiday. And all he got me was an Amazon fire.

Score: 464

Don't order hay for your horse off Amazon. After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back.

Score: 403

What would you call a Crossover between Wonder Woman and Transformers? Amazon Prime.

Score: 351

What do you call 2 monkeys that share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

Score: 350

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account? Prime mates.

Score: 322

My son asked me why I was whispering all quiet. I said I told him I thought the CIA was listening. He laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.

Score: 315

Guy calls in on radio show **Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan

Score: 250

My wife asked why I carried a gun around the house. I told her : Fear of CIA. She laughed, I laughed, the Amazon echo laughed.

I shot the echo.

Score: 205

I'm ordering a chicken and an egg from Amazon I'll let you know

Score: 171

I just ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon.... I want to see which one comes first.

Score: 118

I had to report my stolen amazon package The police are still looking for a prime suspect

Score: 114

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff? Amazon.

Score: 103

Just ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon I’ll let you know

Score: 97

I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon. I’ll let you know.

Score: 93

My wife asked me how Wonder Woman got her new sword in the Justice League movie... I told her that she must have Amazon Prime

Score: 86

After buying a new sail for my boat, Amazon told me it's too late to cancel my order. That sail has shipped.

Score: 86

An amputee found a cheap artificial arm for sale on Amazon... It was secondhand.

Score: 76

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.

Score: 71

If Wonder Woman is the best female warrior Would that make her Amazon Prime?

Score: 67

If you login to Amazon and other retailers websites for Thanksgiving sale, you may save up to 70%........

But if you don't login, you'll save 100%

Score: 64

I was looking for some razor blades on amazon today I assume the ones with no reviews are the best.

Score: 49

Wonder Woman would have been a much better movie without all the product placement. 2 and a half hours of Amazon this and Amazon that... sheesh.

Score: 45

What's another name for Best Buy? The Amazon Showroom.

Score: 45

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon this morning I’ll let you know

Score: 41

I regret naming my daughter Alexa because of the popularity of the Amazon Echo. So we decided to change her name to something that will never be a popular word. We're trying to pick between Cortana and Bixby

Score: 29

Why did Amazon name their drone delivery service Amazon Prime Air? Because the name Dropbox is already taken

Score: 13

The Apple iPhone 8, Samsung Galaxy S8, Snapchat Spectacles, and the Amazon Echo Show all came out in 2017. Who won the year? The NSA

Score: 10

Have you heard the news about the Amazon rainforest? It’s spreading like wildfire.

Score: 9

What's the name of the Transformer that likes to shop? Amazon Prime

Score: 8

So I ordered the Best of Pitbull CD off Amazon. All I got was a blank CD.

Score: 6

New Amazon Jokes

Amazon's great festival and Flipkart's big billion days are going on. Best way to save money is by deleting both the apps.

Score: 1

Amazon Alexa is a police officer My girlfriend just said "Alexa, Black Lives Matter". And Alexa responded "I'm sorry, I didn't understand that".

Score: 3

Ordered a clock on Amazon Wife started crying because when the package arrived, I told her “my time has come.”

Score: 0

Amazon employee in Seattle confirmed to have the virus So the rest of us can get it by tomorrow, if we order within the next 2 hours!

Score: 0

If Amazon starts a matrimonial service, they will soon become the No 1 website in the world ... because they have a 30 day *no questions asked* **return** policy!

Score: 0

Just started a new career. Company even gave me the keys to a Mercedes! That's right... I'm driving for Amazon Prime.

Score: 0

I met a person who said they would set the world on fire... 



I don't think the Amazon Rain Forest was a good place to start

Score: 1

Jeff Bezos has promised to make his company carbon neutral and meet the goals of climate change. But really I think there's only one Amazon that he cares about.

Score: 3

Jeff Bezos has promised to make his company carbon neutral. But I there's only one Amazon he cares about.

Score: 0

What's the dumbest animal in the Amazon jungle? The polar bear.

Score: 2

What do Amazon truck drivers and transgendered women have in common? They get rid of their package.

Score: 2

I wanted to buy salt off Amazon today But they told me it’s NA

Score: 1

What’s the difference between me and AMAZON? I don’t pull out

Score: 2

Amazon recently employed monkeys from the Amazon jungle to expedite delivery times. They’ve decided to call it Amazon Primate.

Score: 1

Where does Wonder Woman get her stuff from? Amazon

Score: 4

What do you call the derivative of online shopping? Amazon Prime

Score: 1

Yo momma so stupid... ...that she helped save the Amazon by buying a Kindle

Score: 1

I ordered a chicken and an egg off of Amazon earlier today I'll let you all know...

Score: 1

I ordered a chicken and egg on Amazon today.... Now all we have to do is wait..

Score: 6

I like my men like I like my backpacks Thick and will hold my stuff.

(Found this on an Amazon review)

Score: 3

Why is Amazon a rainforest? Because it has all the clouds.

Lame tech joke, sorry!!

Score: 2

Amazon supposedly paid 30% over the market value for Whole Foods. It was so unexpected of Whole Foods to offer them a discount.

Score: 1

Text from Amazon Going to buy Whole Foods, want me to pick you up anything?

Score: 2

Just logged into Amazon's Amazon account... Publix, Wegmans and Trader Joe's came up on their recommended purchases list.

Score: 4

I ordered Astroglide on Amazon The mail came right away.

Score: 2

What do you call a Transformer with an Amazon addiction? Shoptimus Prime!

Score: 2

A plane crashed into the deepest parts of the amazon forest. Is there a Doctor?!!! The people cried.

Score: 3

If the Amazon CEO had a pill addiction, what should his nickname be? Jeff Benzos

Score: 2

Why does Amazon always have the best selling cat pictures? Because they host them on AWS

Score: 1

My wife asked me why I carried a gun around the house I told her; fear of the CIA. She laughed, I laughed, the Amazon Echo laughed. I shot the Echo.

Score: 5

My friend just got an Amazon Echo. I said, "Alexa, hi, how are y--" She said, "I have a boyfriend."

Score: 1

What does Wonder Woman call foreplay? Amazon Prime.

Score: 3

f you think Amazon always delivers what you ordered... Then you've got another thing coming.

Score: 4

My 6' tall female friend complains that she can't ever find pants long enough to fit. Try Amazon.com

Score: 6