Hilarious Bicycle Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Bicycle Jokes

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

Edit: I wasn't aware this was posted on /r/jokes recently, I didn't care to research either.. Deal With It!

Score: 1896

What is the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a dully dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

Score: 1456

Score: 1212

What's the the difference between a man on a bicycle wearing a tuxedo and a man on a unicycle wearing sweatpants and a hoodie? Attire.

Score: 1063

Hippopotamuses can outrun a human on land or in the water. So if you’re in a triathlon against a hippo, you really have to make up time in the bicycle portion.

Score: 254

What's the difference between a velodrome and a palindrome? For one, you have to use a bicycle. For the other, you can use a race car.

Score: 192

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed clown on a tricycle? Attire

Score: 167

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? A tire!

Score: 166

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

Score: 163

Why can't a bicycle stand on it's own? Cause it's two tired.

Score: 145

What's the difference between a man wearing pajamas on a bicycle and a guy wearing a tuxedo on a unicycle Attire

Score: 140

What’s the difference between a poorly-dress man on a bicycle, and a well dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

Actually wait, there’s two differences.

Attire, and a tire.

Score: 126

I took some roadkill I hit home to barbeque for dinner, On a related note... anyone have any use for a child's bicycle and backback?

Score: 105

My sister told me I couldn't make a bicycle out of spaghetti You should have seen her face when i rode pasta

Score: 85

I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.

Score: 82

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

Score: 80

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poor man on a unicycle? attire.

Score: 76

Today I came out to find my bicycle was gone I called the police and within a matter of hours they had tracked down the thief, He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.

Score: 74

Whats the difference between a badly dressed man on a bicycle and a posh dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.

Score: 74

Do you know why a bicycle can't stand alone? It's two tired.

Score: 70

What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a handsomely dressed man on a unicycle? Attire

Score: 68

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a uni cycle? Attire

Score: 66

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

Score: 59

Why cant a bicycle stand? Because its too tired

EDIT: ! Thx for upvotes

Score: 58

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because it is two tired.

Score: 53

What is the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

Score: 52

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

Score: 52

A bicycle can’t stand on its own. . . . . because it is two-tired.

Score: 49

"What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket, Officer?" "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

Score: 48

What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

Score: 43

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired.

Score: 37

What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a clown on a unicycle? Attire

Score: 23

What does a bicycle say after a long ride? "I'm two tired!"

Score: 10

If a man opens a cycling shop... ...is he a bicycle peddler?

Score: 8

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’ I did find some road-kill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Score: 7

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a well dressed man on a tricycle? Attire

Score: 7

I separated my shoulder after a drunken bicycle accident. I won't say what I was trying to do, just that it was wheelie wheelie stupid.

Score: 5

Why didn't the bicycle turn up to play football? It didn't have the right gear...

Score: 5

Why can't a bicycle stand with out a kick stand? It's just two-tired.

Score: 5

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

PS: Saw this somewhere on Facebook not my original.

Score: 5

New Bicycle Jokes

What do you call a driver who gets irrationally angry at bicycle riders? Cyclepathic.

Score: 1

My wife laughed at me when I told her I was going to make a bicycle out of spaghetti You should’ve seen her face when I rose pasta on my new penne-farthing

Score: 3

Ed Sheeran broke both of his arms in a bicycle accident.... Hope his mom is around to help.

Score: 1

Whats the difference between a man in a suit on a bicycle and homeless person on a tricycle? Attire.

Score: 2

I told my wife I was going to make a bicycle out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.

Score: 1

Why couldn't the bicycle get out of bed? Because it was two tired

Score: 2

Why doesn't the bicycle walk? It's two tyred.

Score: 3

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Two tired.

Score: 3

How did the unicycle win the race? Because the bicycle was two tired.

Score: 2

Why did the bicycle fall down? It was two tired.

Score: 1

All these reposts are turning me into a bicycle. I'm just two-tired to put up with them any longer.

Score: 3

I got a puncture on my bicycle today It totally blew

Score: 1

Police are looking for a man on a red bicycle If they can't find him, they'll use a car.

Score: 1

Why wasn't the bicycle riding well? It was two tired.

Score: 2

What's The difference between a politician on a bicycle and a toddler on a tricycle? A wheel

Score: 1

What's the difference between a guy in a tuxedo on a bicycle and a bomb on a tricycle? A tyre.

Score: 1

Why can't the bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two tired!
I'll see myself out

Score: 1

What is the similarity between a bicycle and a dark person? Without chain they won't work

Score: 3

A man rode a bicycle from Utsjoki to Helsinki to raise money for a fundraiser When a news team came along to interview, all he said was "it was a fun trip from start to Finnish"

Score: 3

Bikes Why did the bicycle fall over?

It was two-tired

Score: 1

What's the difference between a thug on a bicycle and a politician on a tricycle? Attire

Score: 1

What do you call a person wth a bicycle fetish? A pedalphile.

Score: 3

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

Score: 3

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle . Always wet but nothing to ride

Score: 3