Hilarious Boy Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Boy Jokes

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad... ...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

Score: 29416

My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to overpopulation."

Score: 16352

Boy: What's a palindrome? Teacher: racecar

{10 years later}

Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome

Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]

Score: 15129

You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water. If it sinks it's girl ant, If it floats it's boy ant.

Score: 14317

When I was younger, the local priest told me that I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen. I was touched.

Score: 14191

A boy and his dad are talking. "Hey Dad."

"Yes son?"

"Did you ever get shot in the army?"

He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in the Dad's eyes, and he quietly replies;

"No, but I was shot in the leggy."

Score: 13543

Score: 6546

When I was a little boy, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason. Now at last I've managed to invent a time machine of my own, so I'm going to go back to when *he* was a little boy so I can punch him and see how he likes it!

Score: 5153

A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home." One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.

"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.

"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."

Score: 4668

A man is washing his car with his son... ...after a while the boy says to his Father “Dad, why can’t we just use a sponge?”

Score: 3760

I just flew in from Chernobyl And boy are my arms legs.

Score: 2549

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee

Sorry

Score: 2538

If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy" Credit to my friend Chris

Score: 2381

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.

Score: 2324

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? Mumbai!

Score: 2186

What did the boy with no arms get for his Birthday ? Don't know he hasn't opened it yet

Score: 2153

Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question can go home." *Boy throws bag at teacher* Teacher: "Who threw that!?" Boy: "Me! I'm going home!

Score: 2019

My wife left me for an Indian guy It's okay, I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows

edit: shout out to my boy caleb i know u see this abrafam lincoln

Score: 1890

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

Score: 1828

"It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room. And never visited Bangkok again.

Score: 1757

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"?
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents."

Score: 1608

A young lady from my office just sent me an email saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"

Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?

Score: 1552

I was in bed with this redneck girl when her father, her brother and her boyfriend busted in the room... ....and boy was he mad.

Score: 1465

When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him.

Score: 1286

A man just released from prison was walking down the street shouting, "I'm free! I'm free!"... A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"

Score: 1168

"It's a boy!" I shouted, tears rolling down my face. "I don't believe it. A boy!" It was at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again.

Score: 1082

"Dad, was I adopted as a child?" The father sighs, places his hand on the boy's shoulder and replies wistfully:

"We tried, but nobody would take you"

Score: 1043

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.

Score: 1034

Boy: [kissing girl on couch] you wanna take this upstairs? Girl: He-he, sure baby.

Boy: Awesome! Grab the other end, and try not to scuff the banister.

Score: 971

How did Kevin Spacey find the little boy in all the Tall grass? Satisfying.

Score: 923

When i was a boy, i had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to stay alive... It’s a good thing my brother told me about it

Score: 770

A young black Jew asks his father, "Dad, am I more black or more Jew?"... "Why do you ask?" asks the Dad.

The boy says, "Well, a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100, or just steal it."

Score: 722

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.

Score: 581

"It's a boy!" I shouted tears rolling down my face "I don't believe it. A boy!" Its at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again.

Score: 497

Why is the birthrate in Japan so low? Last time they had a little boy, 66,000 people died.

Score: 491

The blacksmith hires an apprentice He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith

Score: 386

Boy: Grandpa! Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog! Grandpa: Why would I do that?
Boy: I heard mum telling dad, "We'll move to a bigger house once your father croaks."

Score: 379

Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in girl."

Score: 338

Do you know who i am? Boy: Our principal is so stupid.

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No

Girl: I'm the principal's daughter.

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No

Boy: Good (*walks away)

Score: 327

I saw a lonely little boy sitting all by himself on a swing, so I went over and gave him a push… He still wouldn't get off, so I punched him.

Score: 326

New Boy Jokes

How can you tell whether an ant is a boy or girl? Put the ant in water.
If it sinks, girl ant.
If it floats, buoyant!

Score: 28

One day a boy asks his mother “Why are you white and I’m black”
His mother replies,
“Son, what I can recall from that party, you are lucky you don’t bark”

Score: 30

You know you can tell the difference between a boy and a girl ant by putting it in water? If it sinks, it’s a girl ant. If it floats, it’s buoyant

Score: 146

A little boy and a clown are walking through the woods at night... "Golly!" the boy says, "It sure is scary out here!"

"You think you're scared!" the clown replies. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone."

Score: 90

What do you call the boy with no legs and no arms? Names.

Score: 55

On Halloween, a little boy dressed as a pirate. He went up to a house and rang the doorbell. A man answered and said, "Well I'll be, a pirate! But where are your buccaneers?
The little boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Score: 63

Boy: Dad how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek? Dad: Cause it's the future son

Score: 113

I was really poor growing up. If I hadn’t been born a boy I’d have had nothing to play with.

Score: 22

The invitations that were sent for the wedding said to bring a date. Boy, did my bride feel dumb when I brought one and she didn't.

Score: 20

A boy with swollen cheek. Mom looks at her son and asks "What happened Timmy?".
Tim replies "A fly landed on my face in the garden.".
"Did it bite you?" asks mom.
"No, dad killed it with a shovel." says Tim.

Score: 26

A boy asks his father what is the meaning of the Solar Eclipse? The father replies "No son"

Score: 21

I just flew back from Chernobyl And boy are my arms legs!

Score: 131

A little boy says, "Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her." ‘Son,’ says the dad. ‘That happens everywhere.’

Score: 34

What the boy with no arms got for his birthday? I don't know, he didn't open it yet.

Score: 59

A boy caught his dad red handed having an affair with the maid. The dad told the son, ”take this $10 and don’t tell your mum please!"
The son answered, ”but dad this is not fair!!” Mum gave me $50 when I caught her with the security Man.

Score: 33

When I heard my new job required passing a drug test..... Boy was I excited. Finally a test in a subject I know about!

Score: 21

What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a boy's face

Score: 53

A boy says to his mother, "Mom, how come you're white but I'm black?" "Sweetie, the way I remember that party, you're lucky you don't bark."

Score: 38

I'm writing a book about my time growing up as a shy young boy with irritable bowel syndrome... ... i've decided to call it 'Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid'

Score: 21

Girl: Come over Boy: I am, although we really don't need to be using walkie talkies, over.

Score: 77

A boy told his teacher he wanted to be Santa. "Why so? It seems like a lot of work." said the teacher.

"Because Santa knows where all the naughty girls live."

Score: 31

How did the priest find the little boy in the tall grass? Delightful

Score: 145

It's Friday, And I'm A Vampire. Can't Wait To Have A Boy With The Cold Ones

Score: 48

As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.

Score: 34

What did the handless boy get for Christmas? Gloves.

Just kidding, he's still trying to open his present.

Score: 241

Is google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

Score: 22

A Black/Jewish boy asks his dad whether he's more Black or more Jewish. When his dad asks why, the boy answers "there's a bike for sale for $100 and I can't decide whether to haggle down to $75 or just steal it."

Score: 101

most clever student Teacher: Who answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?
Boy: Me and I’m going home now.

Score: 66

It turns out if you Google "Lost medieval servant boy" it says "this page cannot be found"

Score: 87

Can I touch it? There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy and asked him, "Can I touch it?" He replied, "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Score: 52

What did the boy bat send to the girl bat? sapnu puas

Score: 30

"IT'S A BOY!" I shouted.... with tears rolling down my face.
"I don't believe it, a boy!!"

It was at that moment that I decided that I would never visit Thailand again.

Score: 227

Is Google a boy or a girl ? Google is a Girl because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and starts guessing, suggesting and
you ask only one question,
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

Score: 80

Either! Boy: Dad I can't tell if either is pronounced as ee-ther or i-ther... Which one do you use?

Dad: Either.

Score: 26

Have you noticed if you Google the term "lost medieval servant boy" It says "page not found"

Score: 21

A little boy and girl are playing together in a bathtub... The girl asks: "Can I touch your wiener?"

The boy replies: "NO WAY, you've already ripped yours off!"

Score: 19

Boy: come over Girl: I'm coming over

Boy: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed over

Score: 325

Boy: My mother's name is Laughing and my father's name is Smiling. Teacher: You must be Kidding.

Boy: No, that's my sister's name, I'm Joking.

Score: 110

Please bring me a glass of water. Boy: mum, could you please bring me a glass of water.

Mum: get up and get it your self.

Boy: mum, please.

Mum: repeat and I will slap you.

Boy: when you come to slap could you bring a glass of water as well?

Score: 40

A boy asks his mom why he's black and she's white She says, "Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark."

Score: 222

What's the difference between a boy scout and a jew? One comes back from camp.

Score: 36

A girl asks a boy "What does your dad do for a living?'' He replies "He's a magician."

She asks "Is he good?"

He says "Yeah, he disappeared 8 years ago."

Score: 297

I got arrested the other day after police found me covering a boy with melted sugar I was charged with child molassation

Score: 24

A Little Black Jewish Boy says to his father, "daddy, am I more black or more Jewish?" Why do you ask? Says the dad.
The boy says, "well a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I should haggle him down to $75 or just steal it"

Score: 178

Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.

Score: 115

A boy wrote Santa: "please send me a sister". Santa wrote back: "Alright, send me your mother".

Score: 309

Dad, why is my cousin called Porsche? Dad: Because her father likes Porsche cars.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: You're welcomed, young boy.

Score: 47

Why did the three year old African boy buy a red convertible? He was having a midlife crisis.

Score: 155

Confucius say lucky girl is girl who meet boy in park and lucky boy is boy who park meat in girl

Score: 28

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender
"I'll have a pint please"

The bartender looks him up and down and laughs
"You're way too young!"

"How you know my name!"

Score: 245

America is in the labor room right now... Within 24 hours we will know if it's a boy or a girl.

Score: 41

[Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is "I'll be 6 soon!"

"Nope"

Score: 121

I just killed a pizza boy and now I have to kill another one It's the domino effect

Score: 48

A 5-year-old sat next to a pregnant lady. Boy: Why is your tum-tum so huge?

Lady: Because I have a baby inside it.

Boy: Is it a nice baby?

Lady: It is a very nice healthy baby.

Boy: Then why did you eat it?

Score: 21

Michael Jackson is the epitome of the American Dream Only in America could a poor, black boy become a rich, white woman

Score: 31

From my nine year old... He walked up to me tore a piece of paper and walked away, I look at the paper it says "my puns" I ask what that was about, he says " I know... My puns are tear-able"... Thats my boy

Score: 101

what do you call a 9 year old african boy crying on his knees Midlife crisis

Score: 21

girl answer when boy ask about valentines Boy: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Girl: Yes, February 14th.

Score: 30

A little girl and a little boy were sitting in a bathtub together.. The little girl looks down and asks, "can I touch it?" He answers, "NO WAY- YOU ALREADY BROKE YOURS OFF!"

Score: 87

A black boy asks his white parents "Daddy why are your and mommy's faces so bright if mine is so dark?" says the kid. The dad looks at him and goes: "Jimmy the party was so wild you should be happy you're not barking now".

Score: 34