Hilarious Buddhist Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Buddhist Jokes

Score: 442

What does a redneck Buddhist believe in? Reintarnation.

Score: 234

First Buddhist: "How's life?" Second Buddhist: "I've had better."

Score: 197

One Buddhist asked another Buddhist, "How's life?" The second Buddhist answered, "I've had better."

Score: 116

A Buddhist buys a hotdog and gives the vendor a $20 bill.. He takes a bite and then says "wheres my change?"

The vendor replies "change only comes from within"

Score: 99

A vegan buddhist... ...decides to jump off the roof of a meat factory as the ultimate form of protest believing that he will be reincarnated. He became a vegetable.

Score: 74

What did the Buddhist monk say when asked to leave his temple? 'Nah imma stay.'

Score: 72

What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow? Fro-zen.

Score: 66

So a Buddhist goes to a hotdog stand. And asks the server to "make me one with everything"

Score: 65

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says to the vendor.... "make me one with everything."

Score: 59

What did the Buddhist ask for when he walked into the pizza place? One with everything

Score: 52

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog guy? Make me one with everything.

Score: 47

What did the Buddhist say when he was reborn as a cowboy? WHAT IN CARNATION?!

Score: 47

I went to a Buddhist hotdog stand... ...and they made me one with everything.

Score: 46

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand And says, "make me one with everything"

Score: 45

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday? Nothing wrapped in Emptiness.

How did the birthday child respond?

You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift.

To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

Score: 42

How do Buddhist monks send emails? They remove all attachments.

Score: 40

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vender and says "Make me one with everything."

He then hands the vender a $20 and starts eating his hot dog. After he's done he asks the vender

"Where's my change?"

The vender replies

"Change only comes from within."

Score: 37

Hear the one about the Buddhist monk who *almost* achieved total spiritual enlightenment? He only made it to Nearvana.

Score: 34

What happens when a Buddhist cowboy dies? Reintarnation

Score: 34

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor... A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything".

Sorry if this is a repost. Saw it on an IMDb movie discussion thread a while back, thought it was pretty good

Score: 27

A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand... and says, "Make me one with everything."

Score: 24

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

Score: 23

A Buddhist goes to the hot dog vendor... And says, "Make me one with everything."
Giving him a fifty, the Buddhist asks for the change and the vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Score: 21

Wanted: Buddhist Monk Enquire within.

Score: 21

How many Buddhist monks does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But its a long process where the monk keeps telling the bulb that change must come from within, until the bulb becomes enlightened.

Score: 20

What does a Buddhist from the hood say after his friends ask him to leave? Namaste.

Score: 19

A Buddhist Monk visits a hot dog stand in New York and says "make me one with everything".

Score: 18

A Buddhist asks a hot dog vendor to "Make me one with everything." The Buddhist gives him a fifty and the vendor just pockets it. The Buddhist asks for change and the vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Score: 18

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who swallowed a Glock 18? He calls it his inner piece

Score: 18

Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocaine? Because he wanted to *transcend dental* medication.

Score: 16

What did the Zen Buddhist say to his dog ? Nama ! Stay .

Score: 12

A Buddhist walks into a pizza shop He says can you make me one with everything?

Score: 9

Did you hear about the Buddhist that refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication

Score: 7

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocain during his root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Score: 7

Did you hear about the Buddhist Viking? He believed he'd be Bjorn again

Score: 6

A Buddhist monk walks into a cafeteria "Good morning Sir what would you like in your sandwich?"

"Make me one with everything"

Score: 5

A Buddhist walks into a buddhist pizza shop, He walks in and says "make me One With Everything"

When the pizza is ready he picks it up and says "What about my change?" The Buddist Pizza Shop owner replies, "Change Comes From Within"

Score: 4

What did the depressed Buddhist text his mom? Commiting suicide, BRB

Score: 4

How do you knock out a Buddhist? You punch him in the temple

Score: 4

New Buddhist Jokes

A man walks in to a new pizza joint set up by Buddhist monks.. "Hi, could you make me one with everything?"

Score: 3

An Atheist, a Christian and a Buddhist all walk into a bar. What a diverse neighborhood.

Score: 1

What's the difference between a Buddhist and a cancer patient? The eyebrows

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what did the buddhist say to the hot dog vender? make me one with everything

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What did the Buddhist say when he walked up to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything

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What was the Buddhist told when he gave a ten dollar bill for a two dollar hot dog ? Change comes from within

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A Buddhist goes to buy a hotdog "Make me one with everything"

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I have black friend who has been a buddhist for years. He has just come up with a name for his very own spiritual center. Meditayshaun.

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A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says... “Make me one with everything.”

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What did the Buddhist Monk ask for when he walked into the Subway? One with everything.

Score: 3

A Buddhist monk orders a hot dog A Buddhist monk orders a hot dog and gives the vendor a 20 dollar bill. After eating the hot dog he is still waiting and asks the vendor for his change. The vendor replied, "Change only comes from within."

Score: 3

What Does a Buddhist and a Communist Have in Common? They're both willing to starve themselves

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Why didn't the gorilla join the Buddhist temple? It was too monk-y.

Score: 3

I heard Steve Jobs was a Buddhist Due to abusing child labor in asian countries, his karma was getting killed by a PC.

Score: 3

Did you hear about the Buddhist vacuum cleaner? It has no attachments.

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How do you describe a schizophrenic Zen Buddhist? A man who is at two with the universe.

Score: 3

Where does a Buddhist hide for a surprise party? In The Present.

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I asked a Buddhist how they managed to deal with past hurts. They replied "That was zen and this is now"

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A man walks up to a zen Buddhist hot dog vendor and asks, Can you make me one with everything?

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What does the Buddhist order from the hot dog stand? Make me one with everything :)

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What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand? Make me one with everything.

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A Buddhist goes to a hotdog stand. The vendor asks what he would like to order and he says: "make me one with everything."

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The Buddhist's Root Canal Why did the Buddhist refuse novocaine during his root canal work?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Score: 1

My dentist is a buddhist... He uses Transcendental Meditation to help us Transcend Dental Medication.

EDIT: Reworded

Score: 2

A Buddhist monk was on the streets of New York and he stopped at a hotdog stand. The vendor asks, "what would you like on it?" to which he replied,"Make me one with everything".

Score: 2