Hilarious Butter Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Butter Jokes

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

Score: 24660

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today she killed a cockroach.

I said "Nice try."

Score: 1042

My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can't. I'm on a roll now

Score: 902

A little boy kills a butterfly. Dad says, "No butter for one week!" The little boy kills a honeybee. Dad says, "No honey for one week!" Mom kills a cockroach. The little boy turns to his dad and says, "Are you gonna tell her or should i do it?"

Score: 616

A little boy... A little boy kills a butterfly.
Dad says : "No butter for you for a week!"

The little boy then kills a honeybee.
Dad says : "No honey for you for a week!"

Mom kills a cockroach.
The little boy asks : "Are you going to tell her or should I say it for you?"

Score: 456

For me, getting girls is like spreading butter... It's much easier with a knife.

Score: 393

"Back in the day," my grandfather started to say, "you could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well."

"But today," he continued, "wherever you go - there are cameras."

Score: 340

Cute names to call your girlfriend with 1.sugar

2.honey

3.flour

4.egg

5.1/2 lb butter

6.stir

7.pour into pan

8.preheat to 375°

Score: 238

How are peanut butter and jelly related? They're inbred

Score: 198

Score: 119

Dad, is that dog over there a wiener dog? Son, with enough peanut butter every dog is a wiener dog.

Score: 115

A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and cheese How dairy

Score: 106

Land O Lakes Have you guys seen the new Land O Lakes butter packaging? They removed the Native American girl from their labels to be more politically correct.

Now that’s the most American thing I’ve ever seen; remove the Indian and keep the land.

Score: 97

My daughter was playing in the garden when all of a sudden I saw her kill a butterfly. I said "just for that, you don't get any butter for a month!" Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said "nice try."

Score: 90

A guy just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

Score: 89

“Back in the day...” my grandfather started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well.” “But today...” he continued. “Wherever you go, there are cameras.”

Score: 83

Did you guys hear the rumor about the butter? I don't know if I should spread it.

Score: 64

Did you hear the rumour about butter? Never mind, I better not spread it.

Score: 61

Last night, a guy tried to stab me with a butter knife He said i was toast.

Score: 59

Once a man assaulted me with milk, butter, and cheese. How dairy.

Score: 56

Why did the man smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.

Score: 54

In Alabama, when served rolls, they never serve the butter on the side. Because they like it inbread.

Score: 52

Did you hear the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

Score: 49

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!

Want to hear a joke about butter? [OK]
Well I butter not tell you, you might spread it.

does anyone have any more "dad jokes" similar to these?

Score: 46

Have you guys heard the story about the butter? You know what, never mind. I don't want to spread it around.

Score: 44

I heard a rumour about butter... Everyone's spreading it.

Score: 40

Old people love My grandma rubbed butter on granddad's feet when he was ill. He went downhill fast after that.

Score: 37

Did you hear the rumor going around about butter? Never mind, I️ shouldn’t spread it.

Score: 37

I like my bread the way I like my women... French and covered in butter.

Score: 35

My wife insisted on mixing the butter and flour together. I told her she would roux the day.

Score: 35

A man assaulted me with milk creme and butter How dairy

Score: 26

What do Southerners have in common with peanut butter? They are both usually in bread.

Score: 24

I found a butter replacement today... It's margarinely better.

Score: 22

Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn't be spreading it.

Score: 22

What's the similarity between sodomy and broccoli? Even with butter, children will still not like them

Score: 20

When my granddad was ill the doctor told us to put butter on his back after that he went downhill very quickly

Score: 19

At dinner tonight, the butter made a couple of good jokes It was on a roll

Score: 18

Did you hear the rumor about the butter? It's okay. I shouldn't spread it

Score: 18

Some guy just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!!

Score: 15

What did the milk say after it got beat? ...It's butter this way

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New Butter Jokes

Why was working in the butter factory such a high stress job? Because there was no margarine for error.

Score: 2

Sister kills a butterfly So, My sister killed a butterfly, I say "no more butter for you." Then 40 minutes later, she comes to my room and says "i killed a cockroach," I say "that's not how it works."

Score: 4

Dude, you've been making butter all day! It's my churn

Score: 5

“Back in the day,” my grandfather would say, “You could go into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and some butter as well....” "But today, they got cameras everywhere!"

Score: 13

a kid goes to her dad. the girl says: “dad I killed a butterfly today”

the dad replied: “that’s not good. no butter for a month!”

the girl says: “I also killed a cockroach today”

the dad laughs: “nice try kiddo”

Score: 5

My weight loss secret? I stopped drinking. Butter.

Score: 4

My dog's name is Butter. one day, I went outside and accidentally stepped on his testicles. Anybody want some butter nut squash?

Score: 3

Today was a very lucky day for a piece of butter He was on a roll

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Did you hear the rumour about peanut butter? You shouldn't spread it.

Score: 6

If a brother and sister get together and have twins, the twins should be named Peanut Butter and Jelly. Because they are in bread.

Score: 1

You want to be the chocolate to my peanut butter? Cause there may be a million ways to eat a Reece’s, but there is only one right way to eat you.

Score: 1

A father watched his daughter kill a butterfly He went up to his daughter and said: “for killing the butterfly you get no butter for a week”

The next day his daughter saw a cockroach in the kitchen and stepped on it.

“Nice try” said her dad.

Score: 2

Given the recent events involving France's butter shortages... We can all say that France has seen butter times

Score: 2

I started a heavy metal tribute band with guys from my Macroeconomics class We are Guns & Butter

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Did you here the one about butter? Don't think I can tell you, you'd spread it.

Score: 4

I was her bread, she was my jam One day she left me saying "you deserve butter".

Score: 4

I threw butter through a window. I wanted to see a butterfly.

Score: 3

Why does barely anyone use Butter anymore? I'm tired of it being so margarinelized.

Score: 2

If someone woke you up by throwing melted butter and flour on you... It'd be a rouxed awakening.

Score: 2

Have you heard the rumor about butter? Never mind I shouldn't spread it.

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Dairy product truck clashed and everything inside went flying out. That's when I saw butter fly.

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A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter earlier today... How dairy.

Score: 6

BUTTER Have you heard the rumor about butter? Nevermind I probably shouldn't be spreading it.

Score: 1

When I grow up I'm going to be peanut butter You jelly bro?

Score: 1

I like my women like I like my toast Hot, and consumable with butter

Score: 1

A man just assaulted me with milk, butter and ice cream. How dairy!

Score: 2

Did you guys hear the one about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

Score: 4

What kind of fish is good with peanut butter? Jellyfish

Score: 5

As an American, I'm surprised by how unpopular cream cheese and peanut butter are in the rest of the world... I just thought they would have spread more.

Score: 8

What do you call bread and butter's younger brother? Little brutter.

Score: 2

Spreading girls's legs is alot like spreading butter You can do it with a credit card, but it's much easier with a knife

Score: 5

What fish tastes best with peanut butter? A jellyfish

Score: 3

joke I was raised on a farm. One night while walking down a dirt, country path, a man jumped out of the bushes, hit me on the head with a bottle of milk, a dozen eggs, and a churn full of butter.

How Dairy He!

Score: 1

Ever heard about the peanut butter joke? I can't tell you cuz you might spread it.

Score: 3

How to make Emo Cupcakes What You'll need:

Cupcake Tray

An oven

Milk

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Sugar

We're

Going

Down

Swingin'

Score: 7

Why are peanut butter and jelly retarded? They're in-bread

Score: 2

A fly just fell into my butter Now it's a butterfly

*My six year old just dropped this on me

Score: 12

A week before he died my grandfather smeared butter all over his back. After that he went downhill very quickly.

Score: 4

Little Tommy steps on a honeybee... "No honey for a week!" Dad says as punishment.

Tommy then crushes a butterfly.

"No butter for a week!" Dad says.

Mom kills a cockroach.

Tommy leans to his dad and says, " Should you tell her or I should?"

Score: 1

Some people like fake butter. Some men just want to watch the world churn.

Score: 9

Whenever I weigh out my butter substitute I try to get within the Margarine of error

Score: 5

I was turned into butter once. It's dairy important to me, it was a churning point in my life and I think I'm a butter man now

Score: 11

The attribute I most look for in a woman is peanut butter legs... smooth and easy to spread.

Score: 2

Have you heard of the peanut butter song? It's my jam.

Score: 11

While driving along today I saw a man on the side of the road throwing cheese and butter at cars... how dairy.

Score: 2

Peanut butter was driving his toast when suddenly... ..there was a jam

Score: 5

Did you hear about the butter on toast? I can't tell you, you might spread it!

Score: 1

Have you heard of the new rumor about butter? Never mind, I don't want to spread it.

Score: 4

What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp testicles that's covered in Reese's Pieces? A peanut butter bee-nut putter.

Score: 8

What do you get when a dyslexic tries to make a gif? Peanut Butter.

Score: 6

What did the lucky butter say? What did the lucky butter say?

I'm on a roll!

Score: 3

Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter & jelly Never mind I'm afraid you'll spread it

Score: 3

If you throw a stick of butter out the window what would you call it? A Butterfly!

Score: 4

I ate peanut butter and got an allergic reaction. I got sued.

Score: 2

One of these days, I'm going to go fishing for complements. I hope I catch some peanut butter and jelly.

Score: 4

I got peanut butter on my camera Now every picture is a jif

Score: 12

What did the butter say to the jam? We're on a roll now!!!

Score: 2

Did you guys ever hear the peanut butter joke? Actually nevermind. It may spread

Score: 1

How is a women and peanut butter the same? It takes a lot of coaxing to get them to spread when they're cold

Score: 2

Your Mother and I are like peanut butter and jelly She spreads and I jam

Score: 4