Cell Phone Jokes

A old man was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone. "Herbert, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herbert, "It's hundreds of them!"

My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower. The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.

How is a toddler like a cell phone? If you can't find it in three days it's probably dead.

A worried elderly lady calls her husband on his cell phone... "Please be careful," she tells him worriedly. "I heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway."

To which he replies, "It's not just one car, it's all of them!"

Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? He had lost his contacts!

How is a toddler like a cell phone? If you can't find it within three days, you can presume it's dead.

I called my girlfriends cell phone and some other guy answered the phone... He told me that my phone number was no longer in service and to call the phone company to pay my bill.

First she cheats on me and then she tells him about my financial troubles!

What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon? 1/6 G

My 8 year old son came up with this one.

Why did the cell phone need glasses? Because it ran out of contacts.

I got a new cell phone for my wife... Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!

If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer"

Why was the Italians cell phone bill so high? He was always Roman.

I'm sorry.

I got a new German cell phone I put it on airplane mode. It locked me out and then crashed

How do prisoners call each other? On their cell phones!

Why did Frodo set his cell phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away.

Cell Phone Loss I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245 tiles.

If your Cell Phone is water damaged, try submerging it in rice overnight. This should attract Asians, who will fix it.

What's the difference between Jeff Epstein and a cell phone battery? I'm not happy when my cell phone battery dies.

What do you call a phone in prison? A cell phone

What happens when a phone goes to jail? It becomes a cell phone!

(Courtesy my 6 year old)

Texting messages on the cell phone at 12 midnight ... - How are you baby?
- I am in bed and thinking about you … And you my dear?
- I am at a club … And sitting right behind you!!

Hey, girl... Are you a cell phone? 'Cause I could stare at you all day...

(I am ashamed to admit that intentionally bad pickup lines are my specialty.)

What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills? The Romans.

What is Sauron’s favorite brand of cell phone? Mordorola

My sister and her husband live next to a bunch of cell phone towers, and they're concerned it’s going to affect the health of their children. *If* they can stop having miscarriages.

I had my wedding under a cell phone tower. The ceremony wasn't great but the reception was excellent.

What did the cat say on his cell phone? Can you hear meow?

I never really understood the hype about having two cell phones I guess you could say I'm a single celled organism

What is a priest's cell phone provider? Virgin mobile

I forgot my cell phone when I went to the toilet yesterday. We have 245 tiles.

You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison. You just have to have cell coverage.

What kind of cell phone doesn't have a lock? A Nokia

What do you call a Swedish cell phone made by a car company? iKia

Got up in the middle of the night, and couldn't find my alarm clock Checked the time on my cell phone, it was 4:04. Made sense.

How do they communcate in prison? Cell phones...

--Batman

I call my cell phone "privilege" Because I never check it

I never put a case on my cell phone. It just feels better unprotected.

(Not OC) Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? Because he lost all his contacts

Turns out my car is a cell phone It's definitely no Kia.