Civil War Jokes

People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence. I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.

Why did the French have so many civil wars? So they can win once in a while

Why wasn't Daredevil in Civil War? He doesn't work well with Vision

Why do the French have so many civil wars? So they can win one every now and again. (Thanks, John Cleese! This was too good not to share.)

Back in the civil war, gunshot wounds used to be the most gruesome, awful way to die. Now it's considered kid stuff.

Do you guys like Civil War jokes? Because General Lee I don't find them funny.

Why have the French had so many civil wars so they can win one now and again

So John Kelly claims that the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War... I wouldn’t say that’s 100% accurate, but at least 3/5ths.

Why do the french have so many civil wars? Because they like to win one every now and then

Civil War Jokes you say? I General Lee don't find them funny

Sometimes I struggle to understand jokes about the Civil War. I just General Lee don't get them.

Puns about the civil war? I General Lee don’t like them Are puns even allowed on this subreddit?

What was Morgan Freeman called before the civil war? Morgan.

Today I learned about Harvey E. Brown, a civil war surgeon who had so many amputations he ran out of fake legs and had to use a shovel. It was a ground-breaking medical procedure.

I can't believe AntMan and Spider-Man are in civil war. That really bugs me.

Why did the French have so many Civil Wars? Because they wanted to be able to win one for once.

A joke from Civil War History Class today Teacher asks: 'The southern plantations were very wealthy. Exactly how much of that wealth did the slaves get?'

Student answers: 'A whip'

Civil War Jokes? Most of them are General-Lee stupid.

Civil war jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny.

Warning! Civil War Spoilers! The Confederates lose

Civil war To all of the Hillary supporters who are unhappy with the election and would like to start a civil war, just remember, you are on the side that doesn't want any guns.

We all know about the American Civil War... But the Canadian Civil War was resolved with a handshake and an apology... making it more civil than any war ever.

Civil war jokes? I don't General Lee like them.

Me: "Dude! Help! I'm convinced that I'm possessed by the ghost of an American Civil War General!" Ed: "That's incredible! Are you sure, man?" Me: "Nope, but 'Grant,' Ed - that's a good guess."

Ed: "Are you ever possessed by confederate commanders?"

Me: "General Lee? No."

Civil War puns are the best And General Lee, they're easy to make.

Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship? Because an elephant never frigates.



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Southerners can do pretty good civil war voice impressions.... General Lee speaking.

What does Captain America and Spain have in common? A horrific Civil War

Donald Trump doesn't believe there were any lynchings during the Civil War. When asked about it, He said it was just a case of Fake Noose

What caused the civil war in Ethiopia? Too many Negus.

Why did the Mexican civil war last so long? Because they were fighting Juan on Juan.

In The Great Civil War of the Numbers Both sides were evenly divided amongst each other. Many were lost and only one won.

Why are there no more civil war reenactments any more? Half the guys keep getting into fights and being arrested on their way to events.

What's black, white and red all over? The Civil War.

What's black and white and red all over? A civil war battlefield

Civil war jokes? I General Lee don't find them funny really

If India was to break out into a civil war right now... It could technically be considered the Third World War.

Why did the academic become a civil war recennactor in his back garden? It allowed him to be revolutionary in his field.

Civil war joke? I GENERAL LEE DON'T FIND THEM FUNNY.