Hilarious Country Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Country Jokes

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media But every American knows that America is the best country in the world

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An angry wife says to her husband " I should've married the devil he would've made a better husband than you!" The husband responds "you would've been arrested because marriage between relatives is illegal in this country"

Score: 13025

With the rise of self-driving vehicles... With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too

Score: 12715

Why is Japan the healthiest country in the world? Because last time they had a fat man 80,000 people died

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I'm an American, and I'm sick of people saying, “America is the stupidest country in the world.” Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

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The protests in Hong Kong have been continuous for 120 days, proving the country does not belong to China Because nothing made in China has ever lasted more than a week.

Score: 4804

America is going through such bad luck at the moment It's as if the whole country were built on haunted Indian burial grounds...

Score: 4257

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the whole world, because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media… But every American knows that America is really the best country in the world!

Score: 2670

If Trump wins Im leaving the country if Clinton wins Im leaving the country Not a political post, I just love to travel

Score: 2171

If the next president is white.... That means the entire country went black and successfully went back.

Score: 1898

Im sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world

Score: 1783

Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.

Score: 1439

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, You'd almost think the whole country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground

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When England had an Emperor, it was an Empire; when it had a King, it was a Kingdom; now they have Theresa May... ...and it is a Country.

Score: 1276

With the rise of self driving vehicles, we shall soon hear a country song about a guy's truck leaving him too.

Score: 1221

With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Score: 1152

You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country The White House seems to always be hiring.

Score: 1090

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Africa isn't a country.

Score: 984

What has 72 legs and 26 teeth? The first row of a country concert.

Score: 954

I hate immigrants... If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there...

Score: 862

I'm starting to think this country really is run by Jews But it's still only my first week in Israel.

Score: 711

I like my coffee like I like my wives, From a third world country at a reasonable price.

Score: 604

Old soviet joke. Who is your mother?

Our great Soviet country.

Who is your father?

Our dear comrade Stalin.

What's your greatest desire?

Becoming an orphan.

Score: 601

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

Score: 597

I'm American, and I'm sick of hearing that America is the stupidest country in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world...

Score: 548

Why do baby boomers like fracking so much? Because figuratively breaking the country apart isn't enough.

Score: 526

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? ...her capital has been Dublin for years

Score: 513

I'm American, and I'm fed up of people saying that America is the stupidest country in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world

Score: 507

The E.U has said that Scotland could end up as a Third World country after Brexit. I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know.

Score: 502

Why are there no coups in the US? It is the only country without a US embassy.

(heard from a Brazilian friend)

Score: 356

A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That is true in every country, son."

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I like my women like I like my coffee. From a third world country and at a reasonable price.

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I had a friend from North Korea. When I asked him how the country was, he said, "I can't complain..."

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If a married couple in the city get in a fight, it's called domestic violence. In the country it's called sibling rivalry.

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1948; "Did you hear,the Jewish people finally got their own country? Is this real?" "Yes,it is real!" My best original joke, taa daaa. !!!

Score: 194

We need to start giving hurricanes Arab names Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate

Score: 127

What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport? Cross country

Score: 115

Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea? It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country.

Score: 96

If the USSR were to become a country again... ...would it be called the Soviet Reunion?

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New Country Jokes

It took some time for every country to have the corona virus but China got it right off the bat

Score: 9

Which country can play baseball the best? China because they knocked out the entire world with just one bat.

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What do you call an educated woman in a third world country? Intellectual property

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I was having a bad day and then I played a country song in reverse... My tire on my truck got fixed, my wife apologized for cheating and came back, I didn’t run out of beer and got back on to an asphalt road!

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Did you hear about the country with the fastest growing capital? It's Ireland - every day it's Dublin.

Score: 52

Why are the Japanese so afraid of obese Americans? The last time they let a Fat Man in their country, Nagasaki disappeared.

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Why is Finland the most competitive country in the world? You can’t find a road, store, or park without a Finnish line.

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What's happening in this country? School children dressing like whores... -and whores dressing like school children. It's a nightmare!
You don't know whether to carry candy or cash.

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"I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.” Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

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What country’s capital is the fastest growing? Ireland’s Every year it’s Dublin

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Why is Obesity Illegal in Japan? Because the last time there was a fat man in their country, thousands died.

Score: 9

Between Coffee and Cocaine… …it seems like the country of Colombia just wants to wake up the world.

Edit: Spelling

Score: 38

What is Jason Voorhees's favorite country? Chi-chi-chi Na-na-na.

Score: 6

North Korea's state media is very truthful They accurately portray United States as a country where half of it is burning and half of it is drowning.

Score: 10

If you are having trouble being the only fat person in your class... Just remember that Kim Jong-un is the only fat person in his country.

Score: 34

I was on a cross country flight and the stewardess asked me if I wanted any headphones? I said, "sure, and how did you know my name was Phones?"

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Which country’s capital is the fastest growing? Ireland.

Every year its dublin.

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How do you do a system reset on your country? Hit Ctrl-Alt-Right-Delete

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Fun fact: 99% of voters who live in the "path of totality" for the upcoming solar eclipse voted for trump. Which is ironic, because the *last* thing they wanted to do is make the country darker.

Score: 31

North korea should be allowed to have nukes Its the first country to be under total control of someone who's a little boy AND a fat man.

Score: 9

I like my men like I like my coffee. Dark, bitter, and from a third world country.

Score: 7

What do you call a country that makes money from selling LSD? A Halluci-nation

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Lucy, Linus, and Charlie Brown are assigned a history project. Each person was assigned a country to report on.

“Wow!” Lucy said. “I got Italy!”

“Interesting” exclaimed Linus. “I got Germany.”

With dismay, Charlie Brown said, “I got Iraq.”

Score: 29

Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy... - Bahrain
- Lebanon
- Qatar
- United Arab Emirates
- Egypt
- Syria
- Jordan
- Iran
- Iraq
- Saudi Arabia
- Algeria
- Morocco
- Yemen
- Oman
- Kuwait

1. Israel

Score: 7

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy... But won't cross the street to vote.

Score: 21

So I asked my North Korean friend about his country. He said he couldn't complain

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What's the only thing worse than listening to country music? Enjoying it.

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TIL that nobody living in my country can legally be buried in it. It may be because they're alive

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What is the next country after USA? USB

Score: 70

Immigration to the US is a good thing. Everytime someone moves to the US from their home country, the average IQs of both nations go up.

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What country do bacteria like the most? Germany.

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Which country's capital has the fastest population growth? Ireland, because it's always Dublin.

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In 1991, a country banned expressions of surrender, acceptance, or agreement. That marked the fall of the "So be it" Union.

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How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb? Two; one to change the lightbulb and one to write a song about how good the old one was.

Score: 55

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country racing.

Score: 9

In fallout, why are caps used as currency? Because america is a CAPitalist country.

Score: 7

Nukes What's the next Muslim country that will have nukes?
France

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You can tell who runs the country by the amount of clothes they wear. Regular people can't afford too much, they are the less-ons ...and the people who run the country are the more-ons.

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What country had a history of procrastination? Russia. At one point, they were all for Stalin.

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World War 2 fans have their own set of complaints.... "I can't believe Hitler blew an 11 country lead!"

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Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day Teach a man to fire: he'll turn orange, run a reality show based on it, and then take over your country.

Score: 39

I hate how everyone keeps saying America is the stupidest country in the world... You know what I think? Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

Score: 24

What has 60 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Country concert

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If Trump divorces Melania while in office... Will she rule half the country?

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If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election... ...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

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So, I hope that when President Trump gets tired of us he'll leave us for some younger, more attractive, East European country. Hopefully in a year or so

Score: 19

What do you call a country ruled by oppressive Vikings? Norse Korea

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I like my coffee like i like my women... ...from a third world country and at a reasonable price!

Score: 31

Hey EU, heard you lost a country... ..., UK bro?

Score: 19

Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country? Because opposite poles attract

Score: 12

I believe Donald Trump can make this country what it once was- -an arctic region with zero population

Score: 37

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Score: 7

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. Which is really scary because that means that 75% are running around untreated.

Score: 29

Which country is next to USA? USB

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What’s a Mexicans favorite sport? Cross-Country.

Score: 9

Even though the country is called Iceland, its winters are actually quite mild. Guess they should have called it Chile

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I was driving down the motorway with my blonde girlfriend the other day and she said, "I think those people in the car next to us are from another country"
"why is that?" I said
"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says, 'stit rey su wohs'"

Score: 26

At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia... ...they served us nothing.

Score: 11

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a girls cross country team? One is a group of cunning runts.

Score: 6

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

Score: 22