Dutch Jokes

What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common? They both slowly remove clogs.

I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
Thanks for the gold !

What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one? The type of gas used.

What do drain cleaner and a Dutch stripper have in common? They both slowly remove clogs

What’s the difference between a straw and a Dutch comedian? One is a hollow cylinder, the other is a silly Hollander.
I’ll see myself out.

We have this Dutch translation of an American joke Geert Wilders

Why are Dutch people so tall? Shorter ones drowned in floods.

What's the difference between a funny Dutch man and a tube? one is a hollow cylinder while the other is a silly hollander.

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes 'woof', a Czech dog goes 'haf', a Dutch dog goes 'blaf' and a Korean dog goes 'sizzle'.

Another classic Dutch Bakerjoke * A dog walks into a bakery
* Baker: How can I help you?
* Dog: Woof!
* Baker: Anything else?
* Dog: Bark!
* Baker: That'll be 12 Euro's. Do you want a receipt?
* Dog: No.

What's the difference between a Dutch comedian and a piece of steel pipe? One is a silly Hollander, the other is a hollow cylinder.

Is there a more Dutch sounding actor than Tom Holland? Yes, there's Tom Hollander.

A Brit, a Spaniard and a Dutch walk into a bar.. .. unfortunately the Icelander couldn't come, he's still in the European Championship.

I would hate to have to wear dutch clogs, wooden shoe?

A News Anchor is in an Islamic country interviewing the civilians. The news anchor asks a woman:"Are you being oppressed?"
The woman stutters:"I...I have to ask my husband."



Source/Inspiration: Dutch comedian Hans Teeuwen

An american, a dutch and an italian walk into a bar... ... and dont watch the World cup.

What do you call a group of Amish witches? A Dutch coven.

There are two things I hate in this world... People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

Two nuns are in front of an abandoned coalmine. (its better in dutch but it translates)

Two nuns are walking in front of an old (abandoned) coal mine.
One nun says to the other nun: mine's smelly today.
Says the other nun: mine too.

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

What was the last cooking implement used by Anne Frank? A Dutch Oven

How does a Dutch gecko know when there's an earthquake? Van der Waals start shaking.

A Dutch guy, a Belgian guy and a Greek guy are sitting in a room The Dutch guy had a joke, but wanted money for it. The Greek guy couldn't pay it and the Belgian guy didn't get it.

My nose was clogged the other day. A dutch woman kicked me right in the face.

Why do Dutch people have big noses? Because air is free.

### Bonus joke:

* How was copper wire invented?

Two Dutchmen found a penny at the same time.

What the difference between a tube and a dutch comedian? One's a hollow cylinder and the other's a silly hollander!

What do Dutch sheep do at night? Schleep

In Minecraft, there are the Overworld Lands, the End Lands, and the... Nether Lands.

Now I know why I can't play Minecraft in my Dutch class.

What do you call a Dutch in the World Cup final? A referee.

Why are the Dutch so tall? So they can keep their heads above sea level

Another Dutch joke about the Belgiums Two Belgians are walking in the desert with a car door. One of them complains that its too hot. The other one says: "just roll down the window."

How do speakers of Dutch, English, French and Danish communicate with each other? They speak Mumble-Saxon.

Hear about the famous chain-smoking Dutch painter? Vincent Van Cough

What did the Dutch cheesemaker say to the American cheesemaker? "Gouda you do?"

"I'm Gouda, and you?"

For a Dutch vegetarian.. Meat is the worst

An older female friend just got back from a trip home to the Netherlands, and all she brought me was this nap sack. What a Dutch bag.

How was the Dutch dairy farmer caught up in a brawl? He was gouda'd into it.

A tourist is cycling in the Dutch countryside... ...when a passing car slows down beside him. The driver rolls down the window and asks “You’re awfully fast – are you heading to Sexbierum?”
The cyclist replies “Just the beer and the rum. I’m married.”

What do you call an Amish Vampire? a Pennsylvania Dutch with a Transylvania Touch.

Whats the difference between a dutch prostitute and a pizza? You can remove the fungus from the pizza if you want to.