Hilarious Earth Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Earth Jokes

I got an e-mail saying “At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards”, and I thought... “That’s just spam”

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What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

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Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.

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The rotation of earth Really makes my day.

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Use any units you'd like (actually happened in a class of mine) Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.
Student: *raises hand*
Professor: Yes?
Student: 1 Earth

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Did you know that Milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It's pasteurized before you even see it.

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I love the way the Earth rotates... It makes my day.

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I received an email from Google It said, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards " I thought, "That's just spam."

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What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? "Where on Earth have you been?!"

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Got an email from Google the other day... "At Google Earth, we're so good we can read maps backwards"

I thought "that's just spam."

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I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day.

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This season of Earth is not realistic So many plot holes. Like, where did the murder hornets go? Why introduce them if they're not important to the story?

I'm feeling Lost.

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In truth, the earth used to be flat... Until they buried yo' mama.

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What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home? "Where on Earth have you been??!!"

**Thank you, I'll be here all night...

Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!

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I was having a beer with the wife last night, when I suddenly blurted out, "I love you more than anything on earth!" She said, "I bet that's the beer talking, isn't it?"

I said, "No, it's me talking to the beer!"

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Who is going to win tonight's presidential election? The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

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Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry.

Edit: FFS guys it's a ruddy joke. It doesn't have to be scientifically accurate

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Scientists got bored of watching the earth spin for 24 hours. So they called it a day.

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A lot of people complain about reposts, but I ran the numbers and only about 0.2% of people actually repost jokes here Earth has ~7 and a half billion people; this sub only has ~14 million

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space? Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

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A tv show about the earth would be really boring It would just be the same 4 seasons over and over again being rerun.

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Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space? Because nobody liked it on earth.

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Milk is the fastest liquid on Earth. It's pasteurized before you even see it.

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If there is earth on planet Earth, why aren't there Jews on Jupiter? Because it's a gas planet.

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Flat Earthers It's funny making a flat earth beliver angry, but if you push them over the edge then you're only proving them right.

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I love the way the Earth spins on its axis. it always makes my day.

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I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... “That’s just spam.”

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Fun Fact- Dogs make different noises according to where they are on Earth. For example, a dog in Korea makes a sizzling noise.

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How does /r/jokes celebrate Earth Day? By recycling 100% of its content.

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I was arguing with a flat Earth believer We argued about how many members the flat Earth community had. He said "We have members all around the globe".

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I really love the word "earth" It means the world to me.

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Earth day doesn't affect /r/Jokes Because everything is already 100% recycled.

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Why do space rocks taste better than Earth rocks? Because they're a little meteor

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If Bruno Mars married Venus Williams on Earth, do you think they'd have a Sun? Only if they planet.

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What did the man say to the feminist to get her angry? Nothing. The fact that he didn't say anything to her made her think that he thought he was superior and therefore a sexist, misogynistic, scum of the earth

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Who are the least angry people on Earth? Nomads.

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Who's the most prepared person on earth? Justin Case

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Did you hear the Flat Earth Society is really gaining ground? They say they have members all around the globe now.

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Who was the unluckiest person in Soviet Russia? Yuri Gagarin. He circled the earth 3 times but still ended up in Russia.

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New Earth Jokes

I’m working with Space X on a program to send Flat Earthers into space to help them prove earth is flat. But not on bringing them back.

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There are 10 kinds of people on Earth: those who understand binary code, and those who don't. Not many will get the joke, though. Look up binary code if you don't.

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I don't get the flak towards PETA Don't be such a hater. All animals should have a place on the earth... right next to the mashed potatoes.

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MY FLAT-EARTHER FRIEND WALKED TO THE END OF THE WORLD TO PROVE THE EARTH WAS FLAT But in the end, he came around

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How will Texans be celebrating Earth Day this weekend? They will be planting a Bush.

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Whats the difference between Middle Earth and New York? Two towers

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I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon... ... for having no life.

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a stupid joke I made up what do you call a shaking duck?

an earth quack

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The Flat Earth Society is a very large organization. They have members from all around the globe.

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I really hope there are no Golden Globe winners working in the Flat Earth Society.

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This girl I like told me she wouldn't sleep with me if we were the last two people on Earth. I tell her, "If we're the last two people on Earth, who's gonna stop me?"

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Earth is the best planet... The mere rotation of it makes my day!

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Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow. "What on earth is that, Holmes?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

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Im going to join the flat Earth society. They are very convincing and have members all around the globe.

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Someone has most likely made this dad joke before but I'm still proud/ashamed to have come up with it myself. Man 1: Did you hear about my neighbor who jumped off a cliff?
Man 2: Yeah, it's really unfortunate, he seemed like such a down to earth guy.

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Why is it so important that we keep Earth clean? Because it's not Uranus.

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Corners of Love I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth...

But unfortunately, the earth is round.

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GUYS. If you missed the eclipse today, there's going to be a secondary one later. It's at 8:01 PM. The earth will block out the sun and it will go completely dark during a period of about 10 1/2 hours.

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Alien 1: The dominant life form on planet earth have developed satellite based nuclear weapons. Alien 2: Are they an emerging intelligence?

Alien 1: I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves.

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Know your eclipses. Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.

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If you lined up everyone on Earth in a straight line most of them would drown

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Who’s the most prepared person on earth? Justin Case.

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What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Core-ean

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The earth is not flat!!! It's a half sphere

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I used to be a Flat-Earther until I realized this The Earth can't be flat because my life keeps on going downhill.

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I swear, if I hear someone tell me one more time the Earth is flat... I'll push them right off the edge!

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One sentence horror story: "Seems like we're the last two people left on Earth, m'lady"

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I met a flat Earth conspiracy theorist today... Overall, I would say a well rounded person

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Why can't Flat-Earthers watch the show Avatar? Because they don't understand the concept of Earth-bending

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There's no way the Earth could be flat. If it was flat, cats would've knocked everything off the edge of the planet already!

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What did E.T.'s mother say when he got back on the ship? "Where on Earth were you?!"

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What happens if you skip school in Middle-Earth? You shall not pass!

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What's the difference between Middle Earth and NYC Two Towers

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How far is Mars from Earth? A few CVS receipts away

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Great men and women can be found in all corners of the Earth. Unfortunately, the Earth is round.

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I really like the way the Earth rotates It always makes my day

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The astronomers got tired of watching the Moon go around the Earth for 24 hours. . So they decided to call it a day.

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What do you call a book that lists the names of every drug on Earth? Addictionary

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I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" I thought, “That’s just spam.”

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Why does Earth bully other planets? Because they have no life.

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The Flat Earth Society is very popular They have members all around the globe

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What on Earth is a nosey pepper?! It's one that gets all jalapeno business (sorry)

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Earth only has a 1 star rating. Any more than that, and everything would burn up.

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What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth... Because aliens used this planet as a pet cemetery?

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The flat Earth society Has members all across the globe

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Earth went around the solar system asking the other planets for a stick of gum. They all refused, but Earth still got one; Pluto shares its Orbit.

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I like my women how I like my Earth Flat.

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Where are Flat Earth believers? All around the globe.

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My friend told me that he collects soil. I said, "What on earth!"

He said, "Yes."

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Flat earth society member: We have members all around the globe Me: Say that again slowly...

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Did you know the flat earth society has members... all around the globe?

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This joke about the Earth's rotation Just made my day

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I saw two women in a passionate conversation. "How on earth did *he* get between *them*?" I overheard one of them say.

I said, "I guess the 't' and 'm' made room."

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Pluto wanted to throw Earth a birthday party on New Year's Eve But he forgot to planet

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What day is /r/Jokes favorite? Earth Day, it's all about recycling!

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Think about a future where humanity has no choice but to leave earth. It's unsettling

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When I told my friend how my dad drowned in the longest river on earth, he didn't belive me. He was in denial.

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The flat earth movement is really taking off.. There are flat earthers all around the globe

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What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home?

WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN?

Saddest joke ever.

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I wanted to throw an earth day party... But I forgot to planet

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