Earthquake Jokes

What did the one continental plate say to the other after the earthquake... not MY fault

What did the earthquake say to all of its victims? Oh, sorry...my fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other? Was that your fault or mine?

If someone is killed by an earthquake, is it murder by de*fault*?

"What earthquake?" ~ Michael J. Fox

What did one mountain say to the other after the earthquake? Not my fault.

I talked to San Andreas about the earthquake yesterday. He said it wasn't his fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other? It's not my fault.

What did the ground say to the earthquake? It's your fault!

What did the Earth say to the Earthquake? Sorry...that was my fault.

What did one earthquake say to the other? "I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake? Get off me, homes.

A huge earthquake shook Mexico Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock

How do you start an earthquake in East Africa? Shake Djibouti.

What do you call a death that is caused by an earthquake? Death by Default

Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred.

If in an earthquake, take shelter with a horse... Their houses are always stable

What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake

What does one tectonics plate say to another after an earthquake? It's not your fault.

What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake? That was your fault!!!!

What do cows produce during an earthquake? MILKSHAKE!!!!

I can't describe how terrified I was to be in the middle of an earthquake... ...I was shaking.

What's an Etch-A-Sketch artists's worst nightmare? An earthquake.

Earthquake During an earthquake, coffins double in function as human maracas.

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake? Shaken, not stirred.

5.5 Quake Shakes L.A. Every 20 years or so, a large earthquake rattles Los Angeles as a result of the tremendous buildup of pressure in every Angeleno to talk about something other than show business.
~ Scott Miller

Cow jokes What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake
What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef
What do you call a cow with 3 legs? lean beef

Japan just had an earthquake, I saw it on TV. It was a ground breaking news

Why don't Jehovah Witness' get killed during an earthquake... Because they are always in your doorway.

What did San Andreas said to the Earthquake? This is all your fault!

This earthquake news is devastating It's really got me shaken up

What’s wet and likes to shake? An earthquake on a rainy day.

What's the difference between an earthquake and a social justice warrior? It takes a lot of effort to trigger an earthquake.

A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say..

"It wasn't my fault!"

credit to my awesome science teacher

My stomach hasn't felt well all day, I'm like a bartender during an earthquake... I'm having trouble controlling my stools.

An original joke (50% of it is) What do you call it when a cow falls over?
Ground beef.
What do you call it when yo mama falls over?
You don’t call it you call emergency earthquake services.

My South African friend likes telling Earthquake jokes. He's a regular Tremor Noah.

My friend tried to reason with me that during an earthquake, it should be legal to steal glass items because they will most likely be stolen anyways. I just shrugged and told him his argument lies on shaky ground.

The Paralympic World Championships in Mexico City has been postponed It's been crippled by an earthquake.