Elvis Jokes

Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.

My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!" I'm all shook up…

I almost got to see Elvis once. But my shovel broke.

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today? Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

I don't understand how Elvis got so fat He ate nothing but a hound dog

Please be careful!!!!! don't know if this is a scam, I've just received a phone call saying I've won tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show then it said. Just press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.

A bus full of Elvis enthusiasts has crashed on their way to an Elvis convention. Witnesses say no one was injured but they're all shook up.

What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley

If Elvis was alive, what would he being doing today? Screaming, clawing, and banging on the inside of his coffin.

Just received a text message... Just received a text message telling me I've won a competition! The prizes are £500 cash or front row tickets to see an Elvis tribute act. I don't know if its a scam though?
It says to press 1 for the money and 2 for the show.

I’ve just received a phone call saying I’ve won £250 or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute show... ...it said press 1 for the money, 2 for the show

I was asked to be an Elvis impersonator for a kid's birthday party. I showed up drunk, shot the TV, then died on the toilet.

I called to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act and it was one of those automated phone system which said... “Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show…”

What do you call an Arab Elvis impersonator? Amal Shookup

What would Elvis be doing if he was alive right now? Clawing at the inside of his coffin

Thank you for calling ELVIS Direct Press 1 for the money
2 for the show

My pet mouse "Elvis" died yesterday... He was caught in a trap.

Elvis was driving down the highway when he got into an accident. The paramedics found him and realised he was in shock and so they told him, "Mr. Presley, we need you to step out of the vehicle, you're all shook up."

"Uhuh huh"

What do you call a middle eastern Elvis Presley impersonator? Amal Shookup

Just got a text message but I think it's a scam..... It says congratulations you have won £500 or four tickets to an Elvis tribute act.

press one for the money, or two for the show.

I have an idea for a chain of Elvis steak houses. It will be for people who love meat tender.

My pet mouse Elvis died today He got caught in a trap.

I can't believe no one liked my Elvis impersonation Personally, I think that having a drug overdose on the crapper was spot on.

Dont know if this is a scam but just got a text saying i won £250 or two tickets to elvis presley tribute act... Says text 1 for the money or 2 for the show

I have an idea for a chain of Elvis Presley steak houses. It will be for people who love meat tender.

What do you call an Arabian Elvis in an earthquake? Amal Shookup

I got a text today It read:

You have won £500 or the chance to see an Elvis impersonator show!!!


Reply 1 for the money, 2 for the show.

I just had a phone call saying I'd won £250 cash or two tickets to an Elvis tribute night. It said Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show......

What do you call an herb that sings? Elvis Parsley.

What does Elvis wear on his feet when he can't find his Blue Suede Shoes? His Jailhouse Crocs

Which Elvis song, is his most painful? Caught in a trap.

Can't believe my pet rat, Elvis, has died He was caught in a trap

What kind of chair did Elvis Presley sit in? A rock-king chair

Whatvwas the first thing elvis did when he got on his minecraft world He punched a tree-ee

What was Elvis's last hit? The bathroom floor.

The wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with Elvis. But I don't mind; cause since my baby left me, I've found a new place to dwell.

what is a vegetable's favorite singer? elvis parsley

what is a fly's favorite singer?

gnat king cole

What do MLK, Elvis, and the Houston Oilers have in common? They all died in Tennessee

Elvis Presley would never call me his friend... because I've never caught a rabbit.