English Teacher Jokes

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail… But apparently, you can’t end a sentence with a proposition…

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

What is an english teacher's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird

I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.


She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!" "You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"

I used to date my english teacher but she broke up with me due to incorrect use of the colon

When I was a kid my English teacher looked my way and said, "name two pronouns." I said, " who, me?"

I asked my English teacher whether I should pronounce "either" as "ee-ther" or "eye-ther" He said, "You can say either."

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety? Past tense.

What do you say to comfort an English teacher? They're, their, there.

A english teacher asked the class... ... “Use the word ‘dandelion’ in a sentence.”

The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed -


“De Cheetah is fastah dandelion’

My English teacher had part of his intestines removed Now all he ever talks about is his semicolon

My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay. It wasn't justified.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail But apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposotion

An English teacher asked their students: "Of all the characters in the Old Testament, who do you think is the most developed?" A student responded, "Noah, because he has the largest story Ark."

I bumped into my old English teacher that I fancied. "What's new?" she asked.

I said, "An adjective."

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she came out of jail. However, you shouldn't end a sentence with a proposition.

Our English teacher said that in English, using double negatives implies a positive, and in other languages, using double negatives implies a negative. But, in no languages does a double positive imply a negative. I said, "Yeah, right."

My English teacher asked if I could explain brevity better. Short answer, no. Long answer, yes.

A English teacher says to a African student.. "okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"

My English teacher said that nothing rhymes with orange. There was a young man who had nothing,

Until one day he happened upon an orange.

That rhymes?

I just saw my high-school english teacher the other day and she didn't remember me. I was homeschooled.

My English teacher constantly makes fun of me because I confuse my prepositions. He's always rubbing it out.

Why don't English teachers like parole? They prefer complete sentences.

I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me... She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

How do you comfort an English teacher? There, they're, their.

I'm an English teacher and I'm obsessed with staying clean. I hope there isn't any literature house.

My english teacher told me that the file I sent her was corrupt, and that she couldn't open it I suggested bribing it

The English Teacher in India Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

English teachers' favorite knock-knock joke Knock-knock

Who's there?

To

To who?

*To whom*

What's the difference between a paratrooper and a paragraph? One paratrooper is enough to satisfy your English teacher

Did you hear about the English teacher that went to jail? She got a full sentence.

Why did the English teacher assault his dumb student? He was hoping for a sentence.

What do English teachers and my girlfriend have in common? They both yell at me for misusing the colon.

My English teacher asked to “define money”. I responded “something you don’t have”.

Why was the English teacher arrested? She practiced capital punishment in her classroom.

Dogged I used to go out with an English Teacher but we eventually broke up because she disliked my improper use of the colon.