Hilarious Famous Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Famous Jokes

Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now. And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it.

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People get impressed when I tell them my home is designed by a famous Italian. Until I invite them home and they realize I live in a Fiat.

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Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.

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Why is Darth Vader so famous? He was the first black man to admit he is the father.

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A vegan, feminist and a famous rapper walk in a bar I only knew because they told me 10 times.

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"Name a famous explorer that has been forgotten", asked my son "Internet explorer.", I replied.

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What happened when I jumped off a famous building in France? Eiffel

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Did you hear about the famous Italian chef that recently died? He pasta way.

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Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.

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Archaeologists recently discovered a tomb When they dug the remains up they saw that the skeleton had a fine layer of chocolate on it and after months of intense research they discovered that it was the remains of the famous Pharaoh Rocher.

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I own the chewed pencil that Shakespeare used to write his famous works. He used to chew on it so much that I can't tell whether it's 2B or not 2B.

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If Watson isn't the most famous doctor in the world...... Then Who is.

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My wife is a world famous pornstar. She was furious when she found out.

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Did you know Bruce Lee had a son other than Brandon? He was a famous vegetarian. His name was Brock.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age.

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The Great Wall Of China Is Famous Because it's the only Chinese product that lasted this long.

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I believe autocorrect was invented by history's most famous scientist. Albeit Einstein would disagree.

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A broke man goes to a famous lawyer... "I have no money but I can give you an original Picasso drawing"

"That sounds good! What are you accused of?"

"stealing a Picasso drawing."

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If Watson isn’t the most famous Doctor in the world Then Who is.

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Who's the world most famous blacksmith? Will Smith

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Why is Neil Degrasse Tyson such a famous physicist?... On the day he was born he escaped a black hole...... and then he spent his life studying them.

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The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians. "I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.

"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.

"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.

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I tried to come up with a pun about famous German philosophers... but I Kant.

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Get set..... Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol...

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"I'm going to be famous one day" -Unknown

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A famous singer sang for patients in a hospital. He finished with a cheerful greeting:
-Bye-bye , and hope you get better!
-Thanks, you too! replied the patients.

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A lot of people think Sigmund Frued is a hack. And yes, some of his theories were proven wrong but the work he did made the field of psychology so famous he should never be forgotten. They just go hand in hand, you cant have one without the mother,

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What famous actor is like a jail cell full of white guys? Niggaless Cage

(My girlfriend came up with this today. We're not racist I swear. This just cracked me up.)

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Did you guys hear about the C++ developer that wanted to become a famous actor? He kept getting type cast.

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I wrote a book about famous pianists It covers all the key players

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"I'd like a spell to make me famous," he said. "OK," said the witch.

He burned for a week before he died. It was the talk of the kingdom.

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Robert Kardashian taught Kim an important lesson. You can become famous if you help a black guy get off.

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why are your feet famous? because they're legends.

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Have you seen United Airline's on-board menu? I heard their Chinese take-out was especially famous.

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A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely, saying….. "I must have taken Leif off my census."

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Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete.... He was the fascist kid on the playground.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger is asked in an interview... If you could be reincarnated as any famous musician in history, Who would it be.

He replies "I'll be Bach."

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Don't believe everything you see on internet just because there is a famous person's name next to it. -Abraham Lincoln

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Do you know what happened the first time Ed Sheeran started flirting with a girl before he was famous? She ran.

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New Famous Jokes

What did James Bond say to the CEO of a famous microphone company before he executed him? It's the end of the Røde for you.

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So I added a famous person on xbox A while back I added Paul Walker the actor famous for the fast an the furious franchise as a friend on my xbox an all he does is spend all of his time on the dashboard.

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Why did the sexually frustrated martian tell the famous astro-physicist to cross the road? DeGrasse looked greener on the other side...

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Why is the Republican party getting famous for their Agriculture? Because if you don't agree, then you get thrown out of the party and position, that's become the culture now, thus the "agree culture"!

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Who was the most famous rock artist in Italy? Michaelangelo!

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What is the famous song "Dancing in the Moonlight" known as at the Oscars? Dancing in the La La Land.

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What do a bar full of Germans shout as a response to a cop from a famous TV show? #Nein Nein!

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Starting in 2020, whenever a famous comedian dies Jerry Seinfeld is going to go to their funeral and pretend to interview them on the way to the cemetery for his new TV show... *Comedians* *in Coffins Being Carried*

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I saw a famous rapper on a beach in France today. Guess who it was. Kendrick La Mer

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Top 3 Most Famous People from Georgia 3) Julia Roberts

2) Martin Luther King Jr.

1) Joseph Stalin

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The most famous doctor: do you always stutter like that? Me: no, only when I want to say something

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Did you know many famous 17th century composers weren't actually very rich at all? In fact, they were Baroque.

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If I ever get a donkey I'm going to name it Hoatie so it will be named after someone famous... This way I can call it Donkey Hoatie

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What's the name of the famous Greek necrophiliac? Nick Porkakarkus

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Who is the most famous donkey in history? Donkey-ottie

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Which famous serial killer has a leakage problem? Jack The Dripper.

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Me: I finally went back in time and killed Adolf Hitler! I’m going to be famous! Scientist: Who?

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The captain of a very famous ship turns to his passangers and says: people I have some good and some bad news; which do you want first? They shout: the good! Well, the movie that will be filmed about us will win 10 oscars!

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Anthony Hopkins is starring in a vegetarian remake of his most famous film It’s titled: Silence of the Yams

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What do Colin Kaepernick and Tonya Harding have in common? Both of them are famous for taking a knee.

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my father wanted me to be a physicist so he tortured me with electric current And now I'm famous conductor

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Two guys famous for having been shot in theaters . . . . . . Abraham Lincoln, and the guy sitting in front of Peewee Herman

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A competing musician is asked to give his opinion during an interview for a documentary about a famous string orchestra.... “So, what do you think of the group?” The interviewer asked.
He responded, “they look like a bunch of f-holes to me.”

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For Halloween I'm going to dress my dog up as a famous pope. I was thinking Pope John Paw.

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I can't believe how many of Nickelback songs have never become famous It's completely off the charts.

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Richard Spencer is the Kim Kardashian of the alt-right... I have no idea why he's famous and I only know his name because some dude pounded him on video.

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The Great Wall is famous It's the only Chinese product that lasted more than a year

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There's a new hospital building in California named after a famous cartoon character the Scooby Dooby Doo ICU.

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How do you turn a duck into a famous soul singer? Stick it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers

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How did Beethoven get to be so famous? Some people just have mad scales.

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What's the similarity between Trump and Pink Floyd? They both got famous from The Wall.

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What would Ed Sheehan be if he wasn't a famous musician? A virgin

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner, and a lawyer on a motorcycle? The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.

*For a million-six points... What Netflix show- a spin-off from its famous predecessor- did this joke come from?

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My friend got so famous in our town for serving half-frozen fries to a customer, he decided to get a VIP twitter account. Didn't get veryfried.

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A man walks up to Ryu "Can I see your famous Rising Dragon Fist?"

"Shor-yu-ken!"

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What's the difference between Yo Yo Ma and Yo Mama? One is a famous cello player

The other is a heinous fellow layer

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My favourite band is called "2 Aeroplanes" Their most famous hit was "The Twin Towers"

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Did you guys hear about that famous chef who just died? He pasta way.

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What do you call a dad and his son over for dinner at a famous hockey players home? .....
.....The Father
.....The Son
.....And The Goalie Host

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I guess Aaron Hernandez and I are not too different after all I too would kill to be a rich and famous football player

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I have a famous turtle. Guess what it's called? Shellebrity.

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My grandma told me that hair is the secret ingredient in her famous carrot cake She says it tastes better when you put real keratin

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surgeon's disappointing holiday A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. "Oh, it was very disappointing"' he said. "I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital."

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Why was the murderer famous? Because everybody was **dying** to meet him.

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How do you make a duck famous Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers

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Who was the most famous hacker in history? Lizzie Borden.

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Why are cows so famous? Because they're outstanding in their field.

(Probably been posted before but heard it for the first time today)

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Hear about the famous chain-smoking Dutch painter? Vincent Van Cough

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Heard about the famous italian chef that died? He pastaway, here today gone tomato,we cannoli do so much. He will be pizza history!

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If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their age.

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What do famous people eat during war? Celeb rations!

^^^^^^^^sorry

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What's that famous hand made Italian cheese? Palmesan.

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Why isn't the band "1023 MB" famous? They haven't had a gig yet.

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What do you call a group of famous people? Constellation.

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Which famous television host is renowned for her kindness? Ellen DeGenerous.

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I work for a company who specialises in vacuum packed marine mammals. We're famous for our airtight seal.

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I'd like to paint a picture of some famous psychic. But I'm having trouble deciding on a medium.

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What was that famous owl veterinarian's name again? Dr. Who^^^please ^^^dont ^^^kill ^^^me

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My great great great great great uncle during the revolutionary war was quoted for his famous last words, saying... "That sniper can't hit the broad side of a ba...."

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I heard a famous footwear got raided in Ferguson! Everything was looted... Except the work boots

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