Flash Jokes

One night, Wonder Woman sent some nude pics but one failed to impress... ...she didn't turn on the flash...

Having heard that Steve Jobs is in hospital with only his Ipad to comfort him I've decided to release the cure for pancreatic cancer into the public domain.

But only in flash.

Why do Japanese people always look serious in photos? Last time they saw a flash, it destroyed their country.

"On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades" - probably Helen Keller

Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country

Why couldn’t the press take pictures of the fastest superhero? No Flash photography.

Steve Jobs said his life flashed before his eyes. Except Apple doesn't support Flash.

[OC] Grandad was a Flash cosplayer back in his days Cause I have found some of his gray uniforms from the 1940's with thunder signs on it.

I asked my wife if I'm a superhero in bed. She said yes! The Flash.

When the guy who invented the USB flash drive dies, they are going to put his coffin in the ground, lift it back up and turn it over, then put it back into the ground.

News flash: Vandals destroy street signs They pulled out all the stops

Playing fetch with grenades So I played fetch with my dog using a flash bang, I got sued by PETA.

Then I played fetch with my dog using a frag grenade, and I got offered a job from PETA.

Did you hear the one about the dude who married an exhibitionist? He saw his wife flash before his eyes.

Did you hear about the new Mexican magician? At the end of his show he says he shall disappear on the count of 3.

"Uno, Dos...(poof) a flash of cloud and he's gone.

He disappeared without a "tres"

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone.

Which superhero loves to whip out his junk in public? The Flash

What is it called when Barry Allen commandeers a car. A Flash Drive
I don’t know if it’s that good..

If the Mafia took over the Paparazzi it would be a flash mob.

I am trying to get some help for my PTSD... But it always seems to be one flash forward and then two flashbacks.

What did Wonder Woman tell The Flash when he saw that he was greying? "I still find you dashing"

Did you hear about the message that tricked ice to flash to vapor without first passing through the liquid state? It was subliminal.

How do clowns store files? They store them on a flash drive with 32 gigglebytes of space.

How does The Flash deal with feminine criminals? With flashbangs.

As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah, I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed

Seeing the flash in the distance, Elton John knew he only had moments to live. He turned to the nearest celebrity at the party for one last human embrace. "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

The Flash was caught high... He seemed to have taken speed.

What do you get when you cross a drunk woman with a tactical grenade? Flash-banged.

;)

how did the Floppy drive turn into a Hard drive ...By a flash drive

Breaking news: Creator of adobe flash player just died. More updates coming soon.

What's the Flash' computer password? 1barry1

I remember when I went to Comic-Con... It was so dark in there, I had to take a picture with The Flash...

Which superhero would you want as a neighbor? I'm not sure, but definitely not The Flash.

Why didn’t The Flash get any dates? Because he’s known as the fastest man alive.

(Flash of brilliance while out shopping) My friend asked me what my favorite store to shop at was. I couldn't decide, so I said I love "them all"

Apparently there was a flash mob of lobbyists at the train station. Just out of nowhere the place got super packed.

Warner Brothers cracks down on paparazzi problems on "Justice League" set... ...apparently they're not allowing any unauthorized flash photography.

What's another name for bright hair? Flash bangs

The Flash was arrested for molesting a child He was charged as a speedophile

What kind of phone does The Flash use? Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash