Flat Jokes

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Funniest Flat Jokes

My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat! In the end, he came around.

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The Only Thing Flat-Earthers Fear..... Is Sphere Itself.

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My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.

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How does a Flat Earther travel the world? on a plane

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The Earth used to be flat, but then they buried yo mama.

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My flat-earther friend decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it is flat. In the end, he came around.

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Funny Flat Jokes
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The only idea that flat-earthers fear is sphere itself.

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I just watched a movie about a y=x graph The plot was a bit predictable


And a little flat


Good special f(x) though

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What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat minor

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Yo momma, she so fat... there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.

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My wife said we needed to childproof our upright piano, so it wouldn't fall over on our toddler... ... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.

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What do you get if you drop a piano on a child? A flat minor

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In truth, the earth used to be flat... Until they buried yo' mama.

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What does it mean when a man looks deep into your eyes? it means that you are flat chested.

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The only thing a flat earther is afraid of Is sphere itself.

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She criticized my apartment... So I knocked her flat

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Who were the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. Went through 87 stories in 10 seconds flat.

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Flat Earthers It's funny making a flat earth beliver angry, but if you push them over the edge then you're only proving them right.

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A buddy of mine is one of those “flat Earther’s.” He said he’s angry and going to the edge. I have a feeling he’ll come around.

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I was arguing with a flat Earth believer We argued about how many members the flat Earth community had. He said "We have members all around the globe".

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If there was a reality show about flat-earthers trying to find the edge of the world The ending would be a cliffhanger.

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A flat earth conspiracist was boasting about how many people believe that the Earth is flat... He said, “We have supporters all around the globe!!!”

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A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says: Nothing special, we just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die."

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The Earth used to be flat... ...until they buried yo momma.

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It’s surprising flat earthers are still using money. You’d think they’d have concern over it making the world go round.

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How do flat-earthers travel? on a plane...

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I told my gf the world was flat and she became angry with me I told her she was my world and she got angrier

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What do you say when you meet a flat-earther? You're not from round here are ya?

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What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child? ...A-flat minor

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Did you hear the Flat Earth Society is really gaining ground? They say they have members all around the globe now.

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What do you call it when a piano falls on a kids head? A flat minor

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My flat earther friend decided to prove his theory by walking to the end of the world In the end, he came around.

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What chord do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on a toddler? A flat minor

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E-Flat, A-Flat, and B-Flat walk into a bar.. ..the bartender says, "Get lost, kids. We don't serve minors."

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Why do ducks have big flat feet? To stomp out forest fires.

Why do elephants have big flat feet?

To stomp out flaming ducks.

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Did you know the flat earth society has members... all around the globe?

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The Flat Earth Society is a very large organization. They have members from all around the globe.

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What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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New Flat Jokes

What did the flat-earther say when he got a frisbee for Christmas? Oh boy! A basketball!

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What did the old woman who lived in the shoe do when her kids moved out? She moved into a flat.

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I’m working with Space X on a program to send Flat Earthers into space to help them prove earth is flat. But not on bringing them back.

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Hey girl did you push in the third valve side of my trumpet Because my D isn’t flat anymore 😎

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I don’t really like flat Earthers They’re too edgy.


Someone probably came up with it before me, but I thought it was worth a shot

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MY FLAT-EARTHER FRIEND WALKED TO THE END OF THE WORLD TO PROVE THE EARTH WAS FLAT But in the end, he came around

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I live in a musical house, Actually it’s A Flat.

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A flat-earther decided to walk to the end of the world to prove it's flat In the end, he came around.

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I saw a taxi that said "Low Flat Rates" on the side They must have good tires.

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There are flat earthers, there are tide pod eaters, And there are people who want the first two to be the same.

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What do you get when a piano falls on an army general? A flat major.

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A man once told his wife that he believed that the world was flat And she asked why, to which he replied “Honey, you *are* my world.”

EDIT: punctuation my bros

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Louis CK isn't all bad... He helped me change a flat tire and all I had to do was watch him jack it!

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What is the flat earthers greatest fear? The sfeare

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I once tried to teach food how to sing. It actually went pretty well, although the pancakes were a little flat.

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A song about London apartments Written in A flat.

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Did you hear the new tie joke? Nevermind, it's quite long and has a flat ending.

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I really hope there are no Golden Globe winners working in the Flat Earth Society.

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Im going to join the flat Earth society. They are very convincing and have members all around the globe.

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I recruited a nice little girl and her cute cuddly kitten to the flat earthers this weekend. I also figured out the brakes on my truck are overdue to be replaced.

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What’s the point to a flat roof There’s no point

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his flat mate.

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If flat-earthers really tried to find the edge of the world... They'd still be going around in circles.

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A flat battery went to court but there was no charge

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The earth is not flat!!! It's a half sphere

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C, E Flat, and G walk into a bar The bartenders shows them the door and says, "sorry, we don't serve minors"

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Subscribers to Bread Enthusiast Monthly were upset when the July edition was all about flat bread. They said it was too big of a change from all the magazine's usual topics. In actuality, it was a naan-issue.

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Earth can't be flat If it was, cats would have knocked everything down from it

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I used to be a Flat-Earther until I realized this The Earth can't be flat because my life keeps on going downhill.

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My brother is a 9/11 truther, a flat earther, and a Soundcloud rapper. No, really.

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I swear, if I hear someone tell me one more time the Earth is flat... I'll push them right off the edge!

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I met a flat Earth conspiracy theorist today... Overall, I would say a well rounded person

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Why can't Flat-Earthers watch the show Avatar? Because they don't understand the concept of Earth-bending

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World is Flat. "World is Flat". Jhonny said.

"How can you say that without any proof, Jhonny?" Amy replied.

"You're my world, Amy", he replied.

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There's no way the Earth could be flat. If it was flat, cats would've knocked everything off the edge of the planet already!

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How do you blow a flat earthers mind? With dynamite.

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Why are there so many furry flat earthers? Because they don't have Occam's Razor.

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What chord do you get when you push a piano down a mine shaft? A Flat Minor

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I went all around the earth To prove it was flat

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Flat earthers community has members all around the globe.

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Why do Flat Earthers hate The Beatles? Because the Earth is round, it turns them off.

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Great free find today! Was on my way home from a friend's house today, and ran across a free 60 inch flat screen TV, just sitting on the side of the road next to a U-Haul truck.

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A truck ran over a trombone player... You could say he was a little flat.

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I keep finding 2 dimensional objects all over the house... I think they're my flat mates.

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So, an E- flat, a G- flat, and a B- flat walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors."

Oh wait. I should be careful with these puns. I could get in treble.

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Why will the flat earth theory never be popular? Because they can't spread the word around

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The Flat Earth Society is very popular They have members all around the globe

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My ex girlfriend is a brick Flat on both sides and laid by hispanic men.

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What are denser than black holes? Flat earthers

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People say we flat-earthers don't believe the world is round. That is a lie. Of course the world is round, just like a pancake!

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The Flat Earth Society is huge We have members all over the globe

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The flat Earth society Has members all across the globe

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I like my women how I like my Earth Flat.

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Where are Flat Earth believers? All around the globe.

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Join the Flat Earth Society! We have members all over the globe!

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what did the libertarian say after I changed his flat tire? I did it all by myself, without any help from anyone.

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Flat earth society member: We have members all around the globe Me: Say that again slowly...

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Spilt milk I hate how every time I come home and go to the kitchen my flat mate has spilled milk everywhere. How dairy

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The pun-ishment of notes When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.

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The flat earth movement is really taking off.. There are flat earthers all around the globe

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