Haha Jokes

Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* Me: stop hitting yourself haha, why do you keep hitting yourself

Sister-in-law: ~crying~ is this why you wanted an open casket

"Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?" "Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"

"Not this time. Our dog died."

How do you make a one disappear? Add a G and it’s gone.



Haha I’m so alone

Where does a horse go when it gets sick? A horse-pital!

Haha just kidding, they get shot.

"How old is your girlfriend?" "She's52" "Haha, dude, she could be your mom!"

"Yeah, actually it's yours"

if you added the letters S and E to the X files it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files lol

A dad joke "Dad I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry, I'm dead."

"Haha, you mean dad."

"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."

"...wha-"

"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

The word queue does't have 4 silent letters... They are just waiting their turn.

EDIT
oh haha didN't realise this got so many upvotes thanks guys :D is there a way to edit the title for the spelling error?

“Hey son, what has four legs and doesn’t breathe?” Son: “Haha you can’t fool me this time dad! A chair.”


Dad: “No son, our dog died.”

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven. Haha just kidding.

How many feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? Haha, don't be silly. Feminists can't change anything!

What do you call an airplane that flies backwards? a receeding airline.... bada boom! The little bros joke book is pure gold haha

I was walking down the road when I saw 4 guys beating one other guy, so by natural instinct I decided to help Haha, he couldn't stand a chance against all 5 of us.

Doctor, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is this tumor? Doctor: "I'd say it's be-nine."

Patient: "Hahaha"

Doctor: "Hahahaha"

Patient: "Haha"

Doctor: "You have a month to live."

What did little no armed Jimmy get for Christmas? Gloves!

Haha I'm joking. He hasn't opened it yet.

ME: Siri, what time is it? ALEXA: Who is Siri?

ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa

ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?

ME:...

ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

A man named Rick went shirt shopping with his wife and asked her: \- What size should I pick?

\- Pick L, Rick.

Haha that's the funniest s\*\*t I've ever seen.

“Hello there, I'm a racist!” “That's horrible. Why would you even admit something like that?”

“Haha, No I'm racist, as in I love running and racing people.”

“Oooh, haha.”

“Not black people though, they can all run faster.”

What do you get when you put nutella on salmon? You get salmonella.

Hahahaha...pew pew pew...haha...*begins sobbing*

April Fools! girl: babe I'm pregnant you're the father

guy: can't fool me it's April's Fools Day!

girl: haha! got me! you're not the father

How do cows do math? A cow-culator.

haha haha ha ... ok, I'll leave.

Thank you Alexa Burglar: *points gun at me* Alright buddy just show me your valuables and nobody gets hurt

Me: Haha sure thing dude - ALEXA CALL THE POLICE

Alexa: “Shuffling songs by The Police”

*Roxanne plays as I get shot 16 times*

Laughing scale Ha – Mildly amusing

Haha – Funny

Hahaha – Sarcastic laugh

Hahahaha – Stayin alive

Have you heard of the rapper showing off cryptocurrency? He calls himself blockchainz.


PS. Please be forviging. Haha!

Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was OUTSTANDING IN HIS FIELD!!!

HAHA

HA

Ha

No?

Ok.

Dad: "Hey son, what has four legs and doesn't breathe?" Son: "Haha, you can't fool me again Dad! A chair!"
Dad: "Not this time, son. Our dog died."

How do you sink a norwegian submarine? You knock on the door.

How do you sink the same sub again?
You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! We're not falling for that one again!".

What do you call a girl who doesn't give blow jobs? You don't call her. ^haha

I asked my Dad if we can go to seaworld... He said that only if we go to A-World or B-World first.

This actually happened haha

I once made a man cry just by singing He thought my rendition of "your wife is dead haha" was beautiful

Why must aspiring ninjas study the periodic table? To master the element of surprise! - haha happy Saturday 🙂

So I met my girlfriend the other day april fools! i don't have a girlfriend hahaha haha ha....ha.......

I asked a little kid what he wanted to be when he grew up Kid: “I want to be a raper!”

Me: “Haha, do you mean a rapper?”

Kid:”Take off your pants”

Joke haha comedic value right here A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

In japan do they call millionaires, millYENaires haha haha

This one's a long one and gonna be fun That's what she said haha gottem

Did you hear what Charles Manson said after he was asked what he would do if he got out on parole at his hearing? CM: "I don't know, settle down? Maybe start a family?"

Credit to my friend for this joke haha.

A joke I thought of while showering. (showerjokes?) Underage drinking is a crime punishable by breath.
haha get it?

Revisited: My boss was honest with me today Haha