Hilarious Ham Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Ham Jokes

What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig? Ones a heated yam, and ones a yeeted ham.

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What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.

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That’s a nice ham you’ve got there... It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front, and an ‘e’ at the end...

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A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef. The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"

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That's a nice ham you have there It would be a shame if someone put an 's' at the start and an 'e' at the end...

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Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One of them sees a tree in the distance that's draped in bacon. "It's a bacon tree! We're saved!" he says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets. It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

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What do Green Eggs and Ham, and Fifty Shades of Gray have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.

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Congratulations West Ham The only club named after two things that ISIS hate.

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So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef. The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."

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That's a nice ham you got there. It'd be a shame if someone put an "s" before it and an "e" after it.

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That's a nice ham you got there It would be a shame if someone put an "s" in front of it and an "e" behind it

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That’s a nice ham you’ve got there… It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front, and an ‘e’ at the end…

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Airport security asked me if I've seen anything unusual ...I just paid $18 for a coke & a ham sandwich...Let's start with that.

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A Ham Sandwich Walks Into A Bar ... A ham sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender yells out, "Hey! We don't serve ham sandwiches here." To which the ham sandwich replies, "That's okay, I just wanted a drink."

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What do a hot potato and a thrown pig have in common? One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

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That's a nice ham you've got there It would be a shame if someone put an S in front of it and an E behind it.

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That’s a nice ham you have there... It would be a shame if someone put an s at the start and an e at the end.

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A black women named betty goes to a butcher shop. Betty: Can I get a half pound of beef?

Butcher: No Black Betty, ham or lamb.

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Guy goes into a deli He looks over the menu:

Ham sandwich: $5
Roast beef sandwich: $7.50
Handjob: $250

He looks at the hot blonde behind the counter and says, "who gives the handjob?"

"I do!" She says with a smile!

"Well, wash your hands and make me a ham sandwich"

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar... The bartender goes sorry, we don't serve food here.

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What’s the difference between a warm yam and a thrown pig? One is a heated yam, the other is a yeeted ham.

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You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.. But hey..
That's just Hawaii roll.

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That's a nice ham you got there It'd be a shame if someone put an "S" in front and an "E" behind it

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What's the difference between a warm sweet potato and a thrown pig? One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

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An African-American lady called Betty came into my restaurant. She proceeded to look at the menu for about half an hour before asking "Is there any chicken on the menu?"

Exasperated I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

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If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.

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An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant..... An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant and asked "Is there any chicken on the menu?"
I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar. Sits down.
The bartender comes over and the ham sandwich says:
> I'd like a triple of bourbon, neat.

Bartender says:
> I'm sorry, we don't serve food here.

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What’s the difference between a baked sweet potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam and the other’s a yeeted ham.

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What does smoking cure? Ham

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What's a Jew's biggest dilemma? Free ham

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I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss... Whoops, wrong sub

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Nice ham you got there Would be a shame if you put it between an s and an e.

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If you ever get into an argument with a girl and she pulls a knife, Pull out ham, bread, and mayo. Instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich.

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What do you call a Jewish catch 22? Free ham

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An African woman named Betty went to a butcher and asked for beef. The butcher replied, "No, black Betty! Ham or lamb."

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An African woman named Betty entered a butcher shop and asked if they had beef. Butcher: "No, black Betty! Ham or lamb!"

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How does a Ham Radio buff send a break-up message? Remorse Code

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Nice ham you got there! It would be a shame if someone added an 'S' and an 'E'

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New Ham Jokes

How did neckbeard Kermit great Ms. Piggy? Hello, m’ham.

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Some dude goes to the butcher shop The dude says: I want a kilogram of ham

Shopkeeper says: Sliced, or as a whole?

Dude: Which way do you prefer; which one is easier for you?

Shopkeeper: Of course as a whole!

Dude: Then i want sliced.

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2 cowboys are walking through the desert. One of them sees a tree covered in bacon and runs towards it. He is instantly shot. Because this was no bacon tree. This. Was a *ham bush.*

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So I was telling my friend how I started adding pepper to my ham sandwich’s. I really need more spice in my life.

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Batman is the new spokesperson for the pork ad campaign Got Ham?

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How do Pigs win wars? They go Ham on their enemies.

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What’s the pigs favourite soccer team West ham

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What did the bartender say to the ham sandwich? Sorry, we don’t serve food here.

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Roast beef on French roll Oops wrong sub.

^Make ^that ^black ^forest ^ham ^on ^italian

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar... And the bartender says, "sorry we don't serve food here."

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So a ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar And the bar tender says "Sorry mate, we don't serve food"

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What do you call a duel between two pigs? Ham to ham combat!

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What do you call it when a pig makes fun of another pig? A ham-mock

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a ham sandwich walks into a bar "A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here.'"

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A guy walks into a house and steals all the ham Ham burglar

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A teacher asks her first grade class about farm animals... Teacher: "What does a fat chicken give you?"

Class: "Chicken nuggets!!!"

Teacher: "What does a fat pig give you?"

Class:"Bacon and ham!!!"

Teacher: "What does a fat cow give you?"

Class:"Homework!!!"

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That's a nice ham you got there... It'd be a shame if someone added an s and an e to it...

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What's the weirdest thing you ever masterbated with? A piece of ham.

I felt guilty so I went to my rabbi and confessed.

He told me "you're a Jewish boy you should have used a nice piece of brisket"

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An African-American woman walks into a sandwich shop An African-American woman called Betty walks into a sandwich shop, and asks if they are serving pork sandwiches.

The man replies, "No Black Betty it's ham or lamb."

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What do you call a pig with no legs in a veggie patch? A ham and salad roll

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Austin Powers: Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Austin Powers: Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich. Atlanta Falcons, deceased, choked on a 25 point lead.

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Black Betty An African lady named Betty came into a restaurant and asked the server, "Is there any chicken on the menu?" The server replied, "No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

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I asked for a ham and swiss, you gave me a meatball instead Woops, wrong sub.

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