Height Jokes

A girl I met on tinder said "don't even bother talking to me if your height starts with 5" Jokes on her, I'm 4'11














Edit: the quotes are signaling that she's speaking, it doesn't mean 5 inches

If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height? From my head, tomatoes.

Hope no one has heard this before, thought of it while driving.

I don't want my wife any longer. Her height is perfect.

Imagine being in a room Imagine being completely naked in a room where everyone is several times your height, everyone speaks a foreign language, and they all want to touch you.

This is the life of a dog.

I was astonished my girlfriend managed to draw her eyebrows on at the right height instead of too high for once but when I told her... She didn't seem surprised.

What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a? Pi * z * z * a

Height of internet addiction At a funeral in church


A visitor: What's the Wi-Fi password here ?

Priest: Respect the dead.

Visitor: all small letters?

Why did the paleontologist measure the height of a dinosaur using a T-Rex's foot? Jurassic times call for Jurassic
Measures.

Did you know that a pizza with the radius z and the height a... has a volume of pizza?

Why does the Coast Guard have a 6 foot height requirement? So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore.

What is the volume of pizza? Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then Π * radius^2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

Can you jump 6 times your own body height? Cats can Can you take an x-ray of the inside of your own body? Catscan

The radius of your pizza is 'z' inch(s) , and the height of it is 'a' inch(s). Please find the volume of your pizza. Pizza.

African tribe There is a tribe in Africa called the faqawi tribe. Their average height is 3 ft tall and the grass where they live is 5 ft tall. They get their name from the sound they make as they jump up and down " Were the faqawi ? were the faqawi ?"

I got kicked out of the park today for arranging the squirrels by height They didn’t like my critter sizing

what's the height of trust? two cannibals in a 69

An incredible phenomenon of life A pepperoni of radius 'z' and height 'a' has a volume of pi·z·z·a

The Coast Guard recently changed their minimum height requirements to 6'. That way if the boat sinks everyone can just walk to shore.

A man sees a woman crying... He goes up to her, and asks "why are you crying?"

The woman replies "Everyone keeps saying I'm short..."

He then says "Stand up, let me see your height."

and she says "I *am* standing, idiot!"

GF: I'm leaving you! Me: Is it because I create gf nicknames out of names of kitchen appliances?

GF: No, it's because you're always making fun of my height

Me: You know I love you microbabe!

Two drunks are out hunting duck... One shoots a flying duck and it falls dead at his feet. ‘You could have saved yourself a shot there,’ says the other. ‘From that height the fall alone would’ve killed it.’

Write the expression for the volume of a thick pizza with height "a" and radius "z". *pi * z * z * a*

Shame to admit, my german grandpa told me this joke How do you calculate the escape route of a jew?

Chimney Height * Strength of wind

Yesterday at the gym I was looking at the Height/Body Mass index Apparently I'm 4 inches too short

Lady (to her doctor): “What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.” Doctor: “How come?”

Lady: “According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches.”

*At the hospital* “What’s your height, sir?”

“183 cm, doctor.”

*chuckles*
“I’m no doctor! I’m the woodworker...”

Why is a Stormtrooper's height of 5'11" measured in feet and inches? They use Imperial measurements

My girlfriend recently started categorizing small animals by height and weight. I'll have to end it with her... She's always critter sizing.

The wife said she was feeling light-headed from a low iron level To help her, I've raised the ironing board to a more suitable height.

I'm writing a book called "Fair In Height, For 5'1"" It's about a short guy that gets too heated at a bagel store.

I realized today I reached my ideal weight years ago....... I just haven't reached my ideal height of 7'6" yet.

Making fun of a short's person height is cruel and requires no ability... ... one could even say it's the lowest form of humour.

What's the height of self confidence? Farting when you have diarrhea.

What's the most exciting height to be? Yay high.


: ^)

Knowledge is knowing Napoleon.. ... was about the average height for his time.


Wisdom is not putting Napoleon in a fruit salad.

Height matters For example, a difference in how high the rocket flew determined the years the scientists spent in a labor camp.

What Is The Height Of Misunderstanding? A Man Marrying His Own Secretary Thinking That She Will Still Follow His Orders As Before.

Why did the Canadian meteorologists lose to the American meteorologists in basketball? Because it was unfair in height

I'm loving my new desk. It looks good and is at the perfect working height. I sat down, got myself comfortable and thought.. Yeah I could really get behind this.