How To Make Jokes

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Funniest How To Make Jokes

I know how to make a small fortune from gambling start with a large fortune

Score: 1143

Man paid 100 dollars to attend seminar called "How to make 10000 dollars in five minutes" He enters the hall. There's about one hundred people in the audience. The presenter walks up to the mic, says "Approximately like this" and leaves.

Score: 98

LPT: How to make friends I've been doing this for years and now I have a ton of friends. Just tell all the girls you know you love them. Then when they turn you down, they'll say "Sorry, I don't like you that way, but can we just be friends?".

Score: 76

How to make a charity 1. find someone in need
2. Create an organization and donate all revenue to said someone
3. ???
4. nonprofit

Score: 59

Do you know how to make Notre Dame style eggs? You put them in a bowl way too big for it...and then beat repeatedly for 3 hours

Score: 37

How to make a girl laugh Step One: ask her out.

Score: 34

How to make an idiot curious? I'll post the answer tomorrow.

Score: 19

You know how to make a dead baby float? 2 scoops of dead baby and a coke....

Score: 14

How to make friends with girls... Ask them to be your girlfriend.

Score: 13

Do you know how to make 5 pounds of fat look beautiful? Put a nipple on it.

Score: 13

How to make $$$$$ easily. 1: Sit in front of your computer and turn it on.

2: Open a new word or text document.

3:Hold down the Shift key.

4: Press the "4" key as many times as you wish.

Score: 13

Today I learned how to make an Irish cocktail. Take a half glass of whiskey and add it to another half glass of whiskey.

Score: 12

It's actually quite hard to learn how to make tea... There's a *steep* learning curve.

Score: 11

My kids were very excited to learn how to make a hamburger. They seemed to lose interest after I cut the cow's throat.

Score: 11

You know how to make an Arabian phone explode? Put it on airplane mode.

Score: 10

Do you know how to make 5 lbs of fat look good?. Put a nipple on it!

Score: 7

How to make Emo Cupcakes What You'll need:

Cupcake Tray

An oven

Milk

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Sugar

We're

Going

Down

Swingin'

Score: 7

Where do you learn how to make ice cream? Sunday school.

Score: 7

Life is like operating a crane. Early on, you figure out how to make it up to the controls... Only to realize you have no clue what to do once you get there.

Score: 7

I started this class on the weekend that teaches you how to make ice cream... Sundae School.

Score: 6

How to make america great again? Make it terrible first so that returning to normal looks like it is making it great.

Score: 6

My Dad showed me how to make bread, then he wanted me to do it on my own... While I was kneeding the dough, he said, "This time, I won't tell you what to do next"

I told him, "I don't need you to"

He said, "Prove it"

Score: 6

I just found out how to make easy money with a three step plan. Step 1. Get a job.
Step 2. Go to your job and do work.
Step 3. Get money.

Score: 6

You know how to make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

Score: 5

How to make someone disappear from your life forever. Ask them to pay you back.

Score: 5

How to make a dog drink? Just put it in a blender

Score: 5

How to make a good joke Wait this isn’t google

Score: 5

Want to propose but don't quite know how to make it special? Give that someone special a ring they'll never lose: Tinnitus.

Score: 5

I taught my brother how to make his own cheese and now he can't stop! I created a muenster.

Score: 5

Whats the difference between a vitamin and a hormone I don't know how to make a vitamin

Score: 5

Want to know how to make your PC faster? Paint it black.

Score: 4

How to make your wife take care while driving? Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

Score: 4

The youth of today don't know how to make those 90s rainbow tie-dye t-shirts... ..I guess it's a dying art.

Score: 4

Did you know that before WWII, Hitler and Stalin took cooking classes together? They were learning how to make peas with their enemies.

Score: 4

Do you know how to make a dumb person curious? “No, how?”
-
“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Score: 4

My 87 year old, retired navy grandpa told this joke at family dinner after I graduated physician assistant school: "Well did they teach you how to make a hormone?" Step on her toe

Score: 4

How to make clown cry ? Kill his family.

Score: 3

Jaguar just announced an XK-E Concept car they will show at the Frankfurt Auto Show this year. They had been working on it for 10 years but they only recently figured out how to make it leak oil

Score: 3

Scientists have discovered how to make a hormone... ... they don't pay her.

Score: 2

A very British joke: I went to a class to learn how to make the perfect cup of tea


It was a steep learning curve

Score: 2

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New How To Make Jokes

How to make sure that people will avoid you. when an annoying guy will annoy you, just shout "Kitchen Gun!" and then shout " BANG BANG BANG". enjoy none of those distractions after the procedure!

Score: 1

How to make a baby float? Two scoops vanilla ice cream

One scoop dead baby

Score: 1

I saw my postman dressed as a knight on Halloween but his armour was made of envelopes. I don't think he really understands how to make chain mail

Score: 1

A couple decided to cut their expenses. Husband: "You'll learn how to cook. Then we won't need a private chef anymore".

Wife, angry: "You'll learn how to make love. Then we won't need a private chauffeur anymore."

Score: 2

My father taught me how to cook, clean, and sew... And my mother taught me how to make jokes based on stereotypical gender roles.

Score: 1

Do you know how to make someone curious I'll tell you tomorrow

Score: 2

How to make Gnu/Linux run Photoshop? You serve it WINE.

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An Asian & A Black Man walk into a bar And suddenly I had an idea on how to make Rush Hour 4.

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What do you call a program that teaches kids how to make orange juice? A concentration camp

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LPT: How to make friends with girls in an instant Just tell a girl "I love you"

She' ll reply : " No, i just want us to be friends"

There you go, you got now a girl----friend.

Keep counting..

Score: 1

Did you hear they figured out how to make an environmentalist dance? They used an Al Gore rhythm.

Score: 1

I told this woman that I still had not forgotten how to make a spacerocket. You can not forget what you never learned.

Score: 1

how to make any Canadian really angry When they tell you that they love hokey, ask them which type.

Score: 1

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