I Love You Jokes

Sitting beside my girlfriend I said, "I love you." She said, "Is that you or the beer talking?"

I said, "It's me talking to the beer."

A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says, “I love you.” The husband says, “Is that you or the wine talking?”

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The wife replies, “It’s me, talking to the wine.”

What is the worst response to "I love you"? "I'm still pulling the plug Grandma"

I was having a beer with the wife last night, when I suddenly blurted out, "I love you more than anything on earth!" She said, "I bet that's the beer talking, isn't it?"

I said, "No, it's me talking to the beer!"

in mexico, we don't say "I love you" cause we dont speak english.

"I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you." "That's so sweet."

"Not particularly. It was daytime."

A man applies for a job as a police officer. The officer says: Alright, one more thing. Take this gun and go shoot 7 black men and a squirrel.


The man replies: Why the squirrel?


The officer says: I love your attitude, you got the job!

A guy is having a beer with his wife says: You are my dream, my angel, my love. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you.
The wife says 'is that you talking or is it the beer'?
Husband says: It's me talking to the beer.

You're the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. I only go to work and become a better person because of you. You make me workout on weekends and get in shape. And I try to turn you on every night. I love you, alarm clock.

I am so single. I went to Grand Canyon, alone. I yelled “I love you” just to hear it said back to me. My echo replied. “I just want to be friends”

[OC] My friend recently taught his dog how to say "I love you" I'm still trying to teach my dad.

A wife finds her husband sipping some rum on the patio, he says, "I love you so much, I have no idea what I would do without you". The wife asks, "Is that you talking, or the rum?" He replied, "That's me, talking to the rum."

A guy is having a drink with his wife..... A man is sitting at home on the veranda having drinks with his wife and he says, “I love you.”

She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?”

He replies, “It’s me….. talking to the beer.”

Sitting next to my wife today, I said "I love you", She replied "Is that you or the beer talking?"


I answered "It's me... Talking to the beer"

Hello? I am calling to tell you I love you! "Sir, I am sorry but I think you got the wrong number. This is a brewery!"

"I Know!"

I thought I would say ‘I love you!’ to my problems Maybe they would run away too

Two melons have a secret love affair... One melon says to the other, "baby, I love you so much. I just wanna sneak away and get married right now."

The other responds, "no, we cantaloupe."

When she texts "I Love You"... but Auto-correct changes it to "who is this"

My girfrliend said "I love you." I said, "Is that you or the wine talking?"

She said "It's me, talking to the wine."

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Thanks, I'm here all week. Two shows nightly.

A man and woman are sitting on their porch A man and woman are sitting on their porch drinking a beer. The man says, "I love you." The woman says, "Is that you talking or the beer talking?" The man says, "That's me talking to the beer!"

Why does Bono always say ‘I love you’ first? Because it’s the only time he gets to hear someone say: I love U2

I love you marble But I won't take you for granite.

Telling a dark joke is like saying "I love you" Some people haven't heard it before.

Have you seen that new film, Every Year I Love You More? Featuring Michael Jackson and Benjamin Button

A girl asks a boy.......... A girl asks a boy: "Peter, how much do you love me?"

The boy looks her in the eyes, "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."

The girl is confused, “But it’s morning, there are no stars?”

Boy nods, "Exactly!"

What is the worst response to I love you? I love Emilia.

Never trust a ghost when it says "i love you".. It was just the boos talking

I love you, too because I love you less than three <3

I LOVE YOU ... A man was out for a drink with his wife one night and he said, "I love you".
The wife asked, "Is that you or the beer talking"
He said, "It's me........ I'm talking to the beer"!

Whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend I turned to her to say "I love you so"... She replied, "I love you so too!"

We then proceeded to discuss how one could not love Yoo So, for our Chinese friend is nothing but a delight to be around!

*Works better said aloud.

My girlfriend thinks that I don't say "I love you" enough. She's clearly never heard me eating a pizza.

I love you just the way you are, I passionately sang to my ex-grilfriend Then I lay the flowers on her grave.

If I had a penny for every time I heard "I love you" today... It might make me reconsider taking my wife out for dinner.

My mom: You know, I love you very much. I'll fight with anyone who messes with you. Me: You must have a lot of internal conflict

Sister: *gasp*

Mom: ....

Note: mom teased teased us a lot when we were kids

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff. And my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

Today I finally said “I love you” to my cake. It burst into tiers.

What did elephant say to his girlfriend? "I love you a ton"

I love you my friends and that's not just the beer talking. It's from the bottom of my bottle of wine too.

My son was moving to a city in Arizona. On the day before he left he told me, "I love you, Dad." I love you Tucson.