Immigration Jokes

Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".

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"Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".

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"Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".

classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport.

"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?"

"No, just here for a few days."

A Briton flies into Australia and is asked by the immigration officer, “Do you have any felony convictions?”
The Briton replies, “Sorry. I didn’t realize that was still a requirement.”

Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work. China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.

Angela Merkel arrives at the Passport Control at the Charles de Gaulle airport, Paris. "Nationality ? " asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation?" "No, just here for a few days."

I'm Mexican I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.

Putin lands at Helsinki airport... ...and the immigration officer says "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin". "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia". "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".

Credit goes to a dude in the Finland thread. Made me laugh.

Chancellor Angela Merkel visits Athens. Angela Merkel arrives at the Athens airport & stops by the immigration check.

"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?" he asks.

"No, just visiting for a few days."

A German tourist goes to France. The French immigration officer asks him "Occupation"?

The German says "No, just visiting".

Illegal immigration jokes.. are borderline offensive

Despite all the flak the public gives him, Trump has already solved the immigration problem in just a few days after becoming President-elect Just ask yourself, who would want to sneak into America now?

A German tourist in France. A German tourist arrives at a French airport.
Immigration officer asks him: "Occupation?"
The German replies: "No, no, just visiting."

An Israeli is going through passport control at JFK... The immigration officer asks: “Occupation?” The Israeli says: “No. I’m just visiting."

Immigration to the US is a good thing. Everytime someone moves to the US from their home country, the average IQs of both nations go up.

Hitler goes to France As he reaches the immigration desk, the clerk reviews his passport and asks, "Name?"

The fuhrer whispers, "Adolf Hitler"

"Occupation?"

Hitler shakes his head... "No, just visiting".

Only 4 percent of Texas residents think there is an immigration problem... The other 96% said "que dijo?"

A german tourist arrived at Charles de Gaulle The immigration officer greets him, " Bonjour Monsieur, Welcome to paris, Name?"
"Wolfgang Schmidt."
"Occupation?"
"Nein, Tourism."

Before the election, I told myself that I would leave the country if Trump got elected. Well, I did it, and it only took 11 months for the immigration officials to find me.

I wore my "Gandalf for President" shirt to the comic convention. It got a lot of support, but some were turned off by my candidate's hard stance on immigration.

A German man is leaving a plane after landing in Poland. The immigration officer asks him
"Occupation?" And the German man replies
"No just visiting"

What does U.S. immigration policy have in common with kindergarten after lunch? Kid napping.

Old tourist joke German tourist arrives at a French airport. Immigration officer asks him: "Occupation?" The German replies: "No, no, just visiting."

Angela Merkel arrives in Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days

As a customs and immigration officer, I might not always agree with you, But I can see where you are coming from.

A poll was taken in California, asking if people thought illegal immigration was a serious problem. 29 percent said, 'Yes, it is a serious problem.' 71 percent said, 'No es un problema serio.'

Just learned the Finnish have a word "Kalsarikännit" which means getting drunk alone at home in underwear. Signing immigration forms now.

Not really sure about my position on illegal immigration into the US. As a Latino, I'd say I'm on the fence.

Occupation? Angela Merkel arrives in Athens airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."

"Aliens vs Predator" is a good title for a movie... ... about the current situation of USA Immigration.

The German chancellor is traveling to greece She arrives at immigration and the immigration officer says "nationality?"
The chancelor says "German"
Officer: occupation?
Chancelor: no not this time.

I went to Australia and the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record I didn't know that was still a requirement

Why do right-winged people love the letter N? Because it ends immigration.

Don't blame Trump for this immigration policy, Lady Liberty tried to come over from France 130 years ago and they still haven't let her in!

I figured out how to solve illegal immigration! Annex Mexico; then people won't be immigrating anymore, they'll just be moving!

What do you get when an illegal immigration fights a child molester? Alien versus Predator.

A Mexican gets arrested at the US border When the Immigration officer interrogates him, he asks, "how many people were you travelling with?"

"Only Juan", the Mexican replies.

A Chinese, Mexican and a Cuban are in a truck Who's driving? An immigration officer.

What Did The Immigration Lawyer Say To His Client? We’ll win your case or your luggage is free!

Immigration custom asks Jose: What can you do in Canada? Jose: “can nada”?