Insult Jokes

I refuse to insult someone by saying that they have mental issues Only retards do that

The best insult ever is, "who is this clown?", because... #1- You are calling them a clown
#2- You are saying they are not even a well known clown

Complementing a mustache should be a good thing I don't know why she took it as an insult.

Edit: *compliment. I knew something seemed weird

My friend and I had arranged a meeting to insult each other but he didn't show up It was a diss appointment

You know, those people who insult Obama and the Clintons.. really need to stop beating around the Bush.

How do you insult an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it is from.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes... That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes.

What's the difference between childhood and adulthood? "Wow, you're fast," goes from being a compliment to being an insult.

Today my friend met Chewbacca... ...she said he was "A big stupid fur ball." So he picked her up ripped of her arms and threw her out of a window. I mean everyone knows not to insult Chewbacca like that.
She made a Wookie Mistake.

Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way when you do insult them you're already a mile away and you have their shoes.

Never insult an Italian baker. He'll beat the focaccia.

Q: A word that defines "a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism." Sorry, this was "a riposte".

Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan? Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them.

office joke It’s amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, “You look so gorgeous, I didn’t recognize you.”

Wondering why "cuck" has become the new insult of choice among basement dwellers and neck beards? They finally found an insult that can never be used against them.

Frank says to Bob: "I saw some Grees down by the river. We should go insult them." Bob replies: "Frank, you know I'd never diss a Gree with you."

It’s so rude to insult someone in Braille. Just think about how it makes them feel.

Why don't Greek gods insult people anymore? Because Icarus already had the sickest burn.

I don't get why people saying "you're hung like a baby" is an insult 21 inches and 7 pounds 2 ounces is pretty impressive if you ask me.

Not to insult any history purists but... Why did Winston Churchill trade his manual for an automatic?

He hated stall'in.

The difference between men and women is that men insult each other, but don't really mean it… …and women compliment each other, but don't really mean it.

Indian Yo Mama Joke I would insult your mother, but cows are sacred in my country.

Don`t insult the French. They eat pain for breakfast.

The difference between men and women is that men insult each other but don't really mean it and women compliment each other but don't really mean it.

Building a tree house is the biggest insult to a tree! "I killed one of your friends...here hold him!"

Racist jokes are like kids with cancer... ... They dont get Old.



(This is not intended to insult anyone)

There's no better time to add insult to injury... ...Than when you're signing a cast :)

I've created a company whereby people hire us to insult the people they don't like. We're doing a diss service.

The other day some guy came up to me, called me a Blockhead and then proceeded to hit me with his rhythm stick... I though "That just adds insult to Ian Dury."

No need to insult the Jewish Hitler already roasted them

I saw a sign... It said "Slow." I thought "What did you just call me!?" Then I saw a Stop sign and thought "If you think you can tell me what to do right after an insult, you have grossly overestimated your power!"

Then I got T-Boned by a Cop car.

When you insult a deaf-mute murderer in sign language ...it's a deaf-sentence.

Why can't you insult Jewish people? Because they've already been roasted.

Why should you always walk a mile in someone's shoes before insulting them? Because then when you insult them you'll be a mile away,



and you'll have their shoes.

I told my girlfriend that she was rubbish in the cowgirl position. "If you're going to insult me, I'll just pack my bags and leave. How does that sound to you?" she yelled.

"Honey," I said. "You can run, but you can't ride."

A doctor walks up to his girlfriend... He says, “We’re breaking up!” He then proceeds to insult her.

“Why are you being so rude?” She asks, hurt.

“In medicine, you always burn a wound to make sure it never opens again,” He replies.

I bet I could insult your mom using math... Actually never mind its way too mean.

Why should you never insult a burn victim? ​

​

​

​

​

​

These guys stick together.

A fight breaks among two kids and they began to insult each other. Boy1: I bet you are still a virgin

Boy2: I was until last night.

Boy1 : Yeah as if a loser like you gets laid.

Boy2: Just ask your sister.

Boy1: I don't have a sister.

Boy2: You will in 9 months.