Hilarious Island Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Island Jokes

If Donald Trump and Mike Pence were on a stranded island, who would survive? The United States of America

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Who would survive if Trump and Clinton both were stranded on a island? America

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‪If I were to be stranded on an island with anyone I would prefer to be stranded with a vegan... Mostly because it's healthier to eat grass-fed meat. ‬

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If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.

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What would a prisoner say to you if you left them on an island for fifty years? G'day mate!

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A ship is sailing through the sea... passing by a small island and watches a man screaming and shouting.

A passenger asks the captain:

- Who is he?

- We don't know, he gets crazy every year we pass here.

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If you were stranded on a desert island, what would you bring with you? I would take one for the team and bring Donald Trump.

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Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them? To a remote island...

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If you could bring one person to a deserted island who would it be? I would take one for the team and bring Donald Trump

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If Trump and Hilary were stuck on a desert island, who would survive? America

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If I were stranded on a deserted island with 3 things of my choice... I would have to choose Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a stick with a gold medal tied to it.

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Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island. 1) Check spelling.
2) If correct, enjoy.

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Apple recently purchased an island for their new HQ They're calling it iLand.

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I found the real life inspiration for the island from Fortnite! The Virgin Islands

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stranded on a desert island If I was stranded on a desert island I would take along a deck of cards. Because everyone knows after about 20 minutes of playing solitaire someone will come up behind you and tell you you're doing something wrong.

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What do you call 5 artists stuck on an island? Marooned 5

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What happens when a red pirate ship and a brown pirate ship meet on a deserted island? They get marooned

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What do you get when you cross Breaking Bad and LOST? Gilligan's Island

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What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes? Desserted

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We should make an island for environmentalist... We could call it. Mad at gas car

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A military plane crashes on a cannibal island The soldiers are captured, and the chief asks them "Right, which one of you is the commander?"

"That's me, Commander Joe Miller."

"Well, congratulations, Joe, by tomorrow you'll be Commander-in-Chief!"

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Saw a billboard in Rhode Island. "doesn't matter" . It was supposed to say "size doesn't matter" but the print was to big.

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If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America

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They say no man is an island, But drink enough and you're a nation.

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I've always wanted to buy an island and found my own nation on it. I'd name it Procrasti. I'll get around to it some day.

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If there is a plastic island the size of Australia in the middle of the ocean, Then we have nothing to worry about because Australia doesn’t exist

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Joke from my jazz history class: You are stuck on an island with Hitler, Stalin, and Kenny G. You have a gun, but you only have two bullets. What do you do? You shoot Kenny G. Twice.

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What do you call an eye doctor living on an Alaskan island An optical Aleutian

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If we isolated all the worlds criminals on an island for a hundred years what would they say if we met them again G'day mate

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A gorgeous blonde is stranded on an island... Two cannibals, father and son, find her.
The son says to the father: Wow dad! She is beautiful! Are we going to eat her?
To which the father replies: No son. Don't be silly, we're keeping her. We're eating your mother.

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If i spent as much time working as i did procrastinating TIL there is an island in the Bahamas called Pig Beach populated entirely by swimming pigs.

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How did Staten Island get its name? A group of explorers discovered it and the near-sighted one asked,

*"Is that an island?"*

and the rest of them agreed that it was a good name for it.

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If Hilary and Trump were to be stranded on an island, who would survive? America.

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An Asian man decides to move to Manhattan to start a business, but when he gets to New York there are no high rise buildings. Where is he? Rong Island.

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I vacationed to an island for the deaf The people there enjoyed all the rights of any of us, but the freedom of speech was not aloud

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What did Watson say when he and Holmes got stranded on a desert island? "No ship Sherlock"

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There were two economists who were shipwrecked on a desert island. They had no money but over the next three years they made millions of dollars selling their hats to each other.

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Last week, Puerto Rico's Governor said that they couldn't pay their debt. From now on, the Island will be known as Puerto Pobre.

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What do you call a dying island? Club Penguin.

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New Island Jokes

A guy in my class just claimed that a ring-shaped coral reef is also an island. But it's not an island, atoll.

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I asked the butcher if he had any tripe. He gave me a box set of ‘Love Island’.

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When an island farts, nobody can hear it S is silent

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My girl friend had PMS for what seemed like millions of years, then she hunted me down and tried to bite my head off when I suggested she be quarantined on an island. It was her Jurassic period.

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I was shipwrecked on an island and now I'm trying to contact The Police I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle

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What do you call the separate table at Thanksgiving covered with pies, cakes, and cookies? Desserted Island

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Why is it easy to leave a colorblind person stranded on an island? Because they won't notice when you maroon them.

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I’m taking a vacation to incest island. I heard that you should take the kids!

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Why did Elon Musk move to an African island? Because he was mad at gas car.

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Puns aside, there actually is a small island nation called Sugand. Their main exports are pecans, pistachios and almonds. For some reason only the almonds sell well. I guess no one wants two Sugandese nuts.

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A man told me how he wanted to own an island off the coast of Italy And I said ‘Don’t be so Sicily’

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What did the pirate scream when he saw the island? "Land ho!"

What did he scream when he saw the mermaid?

"Water ho!"

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What was the desserted island called? Insula

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If I could only take one thing with me to live on a desert island... I probably wouldn't go.

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A son asked his father what an island was. The father responded, "Is land."

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What did they call the ancient island the Amazons inhabited? Old country for no men.

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Where is the best place to get pastries in New York? Sconey Island

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Why did the latino move away from an island full of women? Too many beaches.

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she told me her body is curvy when she goes swiming she looks like an island on google maps

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A man dies on his trip to an island chain in Equador and becomes a Galapaghost.

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Heard the place kong skull island was burnt down. It was the veit cong

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A Navy captain and his first mate are looking through their telescopes. The first mate claims he can see beautiful island sands in the east.

"Are you positive?" Asks the captain.

"Pretty shore" replies the first mate.

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I was at a team building conference... and the spokesperson was telling us how 'no man is an island'. To our shock and horror, one of our older colleagues stood up and shouted "I'm not just an island, I'm a continent!" and then shat himself.

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