Knight Jokes

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Funniest Knight Jokes

I was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield, Sir Prise.

Score: 1025
Funny Knight Jokes
Score: 681

Who is both a knight and a spy? Sir Veillance

Score: 618

'I just feel like being black is a huge disadvantage no matter how much skill you have ' said my friend 'oh come on, it's just one move at the start of the game' I responded as I took his Knight.

Score: 308

What do you call a knight encircled in enemies? Sir Rounded

Score: 279

What's the name of the most popular French knight? Sir Ender.

Score: 204

A king gets murdered in his sleep... Two of his most loyal servants found the body, with a sword in the king's chest. One the servants turns to the other and says "Wow, he must have had a bad knight."

Score: 195

Which knight did King Arthur leave in charge of constructing the round table? Sir Cumference

Score: 184

Arthur: "That's a nice round table. Who built that?" Knight: "Sir Cumference"

Score: 159

I had a dream last night about an armored horse. It was a Knight mare.

Score: 156

What do you call a knight who cheats on tests? Glancelot

Score: 125

Who was King Arthur's knight who built the round table? Sir Cumfrence

Score: 110

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table... Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Score: 86

Who's the roundest knight at King Arthur's court? Circumference.

Score: 86

Which knight never won a battle? Sir Render

Score: 84

My friend wrote a crossover of Dukes of Hazzard and Knight Rider It was good, General Lee speaking.

Score: 65

What do you call a knight made entirely out of china? Sir Ramic

Score: 58

I keep having this recurring dream about a horse wearing a suit of armor Actually, it may be more of a knight mare.

Score: 57

Who was the fattest knight at King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference...

He ate too much Pi...

Score: 48

If a knight in Prague dons his armour Does that mean the czech is in the mail!?

Score: 48

What was the name of King Arthur's fattest knight? Sir Cumference. (He ate too much pi)

Score: 42

Which Knight invented the Round Table? Sir Cumference

Score: 42

Who was the roundest knight at the round table? Sir Cumference, he had too much pi

Score: 42

Why did the knight stop fighting after all his limbs had been chopped of? He'd been unarmed and defeated

Score: 40

What do you call the knight who is also a butcher? Sir Loin

Score: 40

What do you call a cow who is also a knight? Sir Loin.

Score: 36

The fattest knight at King Arthur's The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Score: 35

What happens when Batman sees Catwoman naked? The Dark Knight Rises.

Score: 33

Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference

Score: 29

What was the name of the knight who built King Arthur's Round Table? Sir Cumference.

Score: 28

I walked into a Victoria's Secret a man and came out a knight. From this day forward I shall be known as Sir- please leave you're being creepy.

Score: 22

A female friend of mine told me that i should act more like a knight So i stopped showering, brushing my teeth and i raped her

Score: 15

Who was the fattest knight on King Arthur's Round Table? Sir Cumference

Score: 14

What did King Arthur say when asked about Lancelot's betrayal? "I don't want to talk about it, I've had a bad knight."


Bonus joke:

Why should you hire submariners?

They have experience working under pressure.

Score: 12

Who was the most popular knight of the round table? Sir Cumference

Score: 10

Are you a good knight, or a bad knight? Ehh, medieval.

Score: 8

A knight is called to war by his liege Before he leaves he puts a chastity belt on his wife, locks it and trusts his stewart with the key.

Just as he was about to leave the stewart comes running towards him

"Sir, you left me the wrong key!"

Score: 8

What did the Jedi Knight say to the proctologist? "These aren't the 'roids you're looking for."

Score: 8

Who was the beefiest knight at King Arthur’s round table? Sir Loin

Score: 7

Who was the roundest knight at the King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference

Score: 6

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New Knight Jokes

Just got on the knight shift I prefer the kings automatic

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I was riding my coconut into town one day when I encountered a fellow knight. “What are you riding?” the knight asked. I stopped and said, “‘tis simply my loyal seed.”

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Who was the deadliest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Chandestroy.

Score: 2

For the GoT fans - What is it called when you make a woman a knight, take her verginity and dissapear? A one knight stand...

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Why did Jaime Lannister really Knight Brienne of Tarth? So he could once again be with a sir, see?

Score: 2

What do you call a fat knight of the round table? Sir Cumference

Score: 5

I saw my postman dressed as a knight on Halloween but his armour was made of envelopes. I don't think he really understands how to make chain mail

Score: 1

What do you call a religious Super Smash Bros Brawl character? Menno knight

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What do you call a knight of Camelot who gets laid occasionally? Sir-Lance-From-Time-to-Time

Score: 2

What do you get when you put a suit of armor on a city map? A knight on the town

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What did the cannibal say when he met a fully armored knight? Argh... Canned food again?

Score: 2

Which knight of King Arthur is the most hygienic? Sir Cumcised

Score: 3

What was the name of the knight who meassured the distance around the round table? Sir Cumference

Score: 1

Two cannibals eating a Knight. One says... That's good Sirloin.

Score: 3

A guitarist traveled back in time to the Medieval Ages and became an apprentice to a noble knight He was a squier.

Score: 2

How did sir cumference get to be the fattest knight at the round table His pies are squared

Score: 2

Why didn't the Knight show up in time to help Jon Snow? Something was wrong with the Knights Watch

Score: 1

A lady and I once spent our 9th date seeing the dark knight rises So to summarise our dating life it was like this, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Batman

Score: 5

there's two cannibals in a tree a knight in armor comes around the first cannibal says to the other "dude canned food again?"

Score: 2

What was the butchers name who was also a knight? Sir Loin.

Score: 3

Which knight at king Arthur's table was the most rotund? Sir Cumference

Score: 4

What do you call a fat knight? Sir cumference!

Score: 2

Hey There Kirby Have you ever meta knight?

Score: 1

A knights wife recieves a package from the blacksmith The knight asks her: "Is this my new chest plate?"

She replies: "Sorry my dear, it's just a chain mail."

Score: 1

What did the squire say to his boss after he tucked him in? Night knight.

Score: 4

The Queen takes the Bishop, leaving the Knight in a vulnerable position. This royal wedding is taking an unexpected turn.

Score: 3

Who was the roundest knight at the Round Table? Sir Cumference

Score: 5

What's the difference between a French Knight and my friend with a genie? One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin

Score: 2

What do you call a mummy on a horse? A knight in Charmin armor.

Score: 2

What did Scarecrow's fear toxin do to the Dark Knight? It made him go batshit crazy.

Score: 1

What do you call a tea knight? A vigilan-tea

Score: 2

What do you call a Hebrew knight? Ser Cumcised.

Score: 3

What do you call an injured knight? 'Armless

Thought of this as I was falling asleep.

Score: 1

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