Labor Jokes

A woman in labor suddenly shouted out “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!” “Don’t worry”, the doctor said, “Those are just the contractions”

Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities. Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.

My wife screamed in pain during labor... "What's wrong, honey?" I asked.

"*What's wrong*!?" she screamed. "These contractions are going to kill me!!"

"I am sorry, babe," I replied. "*What is* wrong?"

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" "Don't worry," said the doc. "those are just contractions."

A women in labor suddenly starts shouting, “SHOULDN’T, WOULDN’T, COULDN’T, CAN’T” “Don’t worry,” said the doctor.
“Those are just contractions”

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" The concerned father-to-be asked, "Doctor, what's going on?"

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The doctor said, "Don't worry, those are just contractions."

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A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp. 1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!” “Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

A guy calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"

The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

He says, "No! This is her husband!"

When my wife was in labor, I would tell her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused.

It must have been the delivery.

A woman in labor suddenly started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Didn’t! Shouldn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said the doctor, “those are just contractions.”

My wife was in labor with our daughter My wife was in labor with our daughter, everything was going well until she started shouting
"Shouldn't! Couldn't! Wouldn't! Didn't! Can't!".
"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?"
"Nothing, she is just having contractions."

If someone tried to make me dig my own grave I would say no. They're going to kill me anyway and I'd love to die the way I lived : avoiding manual labor.

My friend is so rich He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government. 1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

America is in the labor room right now... Within 24 hours we will know if it's a boy or a girl.

A woman in labor A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!""Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

A woman went into labor and gave birth to her son in a record 2 minutes! Later that day a nurse goes to check on the new mother. She tells the mother congratulations and exclaims "I can't believe how fast he came!" The mother replies, "Like father like son"

My wife was in labor for so long... It felt like a maternity

What did the pregnant orange see after 9 months? The fruits of her labor.

I used to work on an assembly line making pregnancy pamphlets, but I quit. I got tired of labor manuals.

How do you make tear-free soap? Don't use child labor.

I called the hospital and pleaded, "Doctor! She's going into labor and her contractions are coming really fast! What should I do!?" "Is this her first child?" he asked. "No, this is her husband!"

A woman was in labor and shouted out "Can't! Wouldn't! Don't! Shouldn't!" The doctor said, "don't worry, it's just contractions."

A woman who was in labor started randomly shouting, "Can't! Don't! Shouldn't! Wouldn't!" The doctor said...."Don't worry...those are just contractions!"

What happens when a hospital runs out of labor and delivery nurses? They have a mid-wife crisis.

I thought of perfect Dad joke while my wife was in labor.. But I messed up the delivery.

A blond couple is in the hospital and the wife is in labor... After a few laborious hours out pops a beautiful baby boy.
then, another!
Two beautiful twins!
however, the father is furious....
"Ok! who's the other guy you're seeing?!"

So I heard they’re being stricter with teen pregnancies. Apparently people have problems with the child labor.

An almost hysterical man calls 911... He yells, "Please come quickly! Kailey is pregnant and her labor just started now, it's really intense!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the operator.

"No dumbass! It's her husband!"

After I left my farm to join the army, I learned that my wife bought a new tractor to replace my labor. She wrote me a "John Deere" letter.

I'm thinking of starting a business will use free child labor in exchange for temporary housing. Although I don't know if I can compete with the Girl Scouts...

My wife went into labor while we were camping. It was in tents.

A hysterical man calls a hospital "Please come quickly! Kailey is pregnant and her labor started now, it’s really intense!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the operator.

"No you dumbass! It’s her husband!"

I adopted a child from overseas to save him from labor factories. For some reason he hates it when I take him to Build-a-Bear Workshop

On the day I was born, my mom went into labor, but the assistant was nowhere to be found. She had a midwife crisis.

I had a terrible labor day weekend. My wife was in a horrible car crash and lost her left leg and left arm. She's all right now.

TIL why coal production has drastically slowed down within the past 10 years It is believed the labor involved in this risky job was causing miner pain.

I called up the doctor and said, "Doctor, my wife is going into labor and her contractions are coming really fast! What should I do?" "Is this her first child?" He asked.

"No, this is her husband."