Hilarious Legal Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Legal Jokes

What would happen if Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US? He’d be rolling in his grave.

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What do you call an online lawyer E-legal

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If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, He will be rolling in his grave.

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The UK Government has decided to make LSD legal as a drug for weight loss It makes sense if you think about it. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it...

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My best friend was my partner in crime until homosexuality was made legal.

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A tour bus is traveling through Nevada... it briefly passes by the Bunny Ranch in Carson City.

The guide notes, "We are now passing the largest house of legal prostitution in America"

A man in the back shouts, "WHY?!?"

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I put my USDA inspected chicken strip in my wallet. Now my legal tender is safe.

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What do you call a legal guardian who switched gender? transparent.

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Now that weed is legal in California, I don't need my Xanax prescription anymore. I was always suffering from chronic anxiety I was about to be arrested for illegal possession.

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Why can’t the Infiniti car company trademark ∞ ? Because the legal battle would be endless.

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What's the difference between a cop and a criminal? It's legal to defend yourself when a criminal robs you.

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What do Canada and Saudi Arabia have in common? It's legal to get stoned.

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According to Scientists atom’s are as old the universe So therefore your honour she was legal

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With cannabis being legal for over a year in canada, every province has access to weed except Quebec. They only get oui'd

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What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket? He got off on a technicality

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How do you get a Russian to the legal alcohol limit? Sober him up for a week or two.

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If Snoop Dogg dies before pot is legal in the United States,.. ..He will be rolling in his grave.

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Apparently there's a voluntary organization trying to gain legal rights for apes. I guess you could say their work is Pro-Bonobo.

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Alabama changed the legal drinking age to 33. They're trying to keep it out of high schools.

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What device can make prostitution legal? A camera.

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Did you hear about the new law that passed? If you're living in Oklahoma, it is illegal to be buried in Texas... But once you die, it's perfectly legal.

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Did you know Kim Khardashian's dad was a member of OJ Simpsons legal team? So the whole family has a history of getting black guys off

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Why should polygamy be legal? Any guy willing to take multiple wives is punishment enough!

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Whoring yourself for money is legal in the United States Just take a look at our politicians.

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Why do men choose video games over women? Video games can be beaten without legal consequences.

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If my Sky Internet gets any slower by the time this video has downloaded the girl in it will be legal.

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What do you call 18 year old wheat? Barley legal.

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Why didn't the lawyer steal his coffee? He wanted legal grounds.

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A feminist has taken legal action against a shopping mall Santa. She claims he called her a hoe three times.

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Millenials are Killing the Coat Hanger Industry more than half of them support legal abortions.

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Hellen Keller had legal trouble... she missed her hearing.

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In an all out fight between a married couple The wife says: I would be better of marrying the devil instead of you!

The husband replies: no you couldn't. Marriage between family members is not legal!

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I like my cartoons like Woody Allen likes his women... Barely legal and asian.

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Between grand theft and a legal fee... ...there only stands a law degree.

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What's the best part about going to jury duty? Everyone's legal.

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Why didn't set theory become a branch of mathematics until the mid 1800's? Before then, the only legal union was between man and woman.

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Why is it a terrible idea to get in a legal dispute with anyone at the sanitation department? They have lots of Sewers

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What do you call an incel where prostitutionis legal? A buysexual.

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In a couple of thousand years, when bioprinting becomes legal to make human beings alive.. You can make a duplicate version of yourself, and it’s possible to go fuckyourself.

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New Legal Jokes

On which day of the week is it legal to marry the 8-bit Nintend console? Wednesday.

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Susan threatened everyone in her small town with legal action so regularly She earned the nickname sueshi

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My friend tried to reason with me that during an earthquake, it should be legal to steal glass items because they will most likely be stolen anyways. I just shrugged and told him his argument lies on shaky ground.

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Goin to jail cause of some bad advice My friends all told me "its legal if she's A teen"

Trust me guys, its not.

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I once met a hearing-impaired genie. Needless to say, it was the worst day of my life.

On top of ending up with a million doll-hairs, I am now the owner of a man's shin...

...and the legal guardian of an 8-inch pianist!

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Did you hear about the legal brothel in Canada? "Yeah I hear all the girls are real dolls."

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Mel Brooks Changes Legal Name to Tony Brooks "I'm had as Mel," one source quoted, "and I'm not going to take it anymore."

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What do you call a gentle loving lawyer? Legal Tender

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What is the difference between a tart and a torte? One is a loose woman, the other is the legal action that follows.

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My hairdresser made me sign a legal document today. I was confused at first, but she said it's just for perms and conditions.

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I always said if something isnt working then you should hit it. But apparently that's not legal anymore.

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What animals are on legal documents? Seals!!!!

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My legal problems are growing… I need a good law mower.

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What does the yen and a thirteen year old have in common? In Japan, they're both legal tender.

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I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal. Let me rephrase that -- I was just vacationing in Amsterdam BECAUSE prostitution is legal.

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What is the most widely used legal disclaimer in a Mexican restaurant? "Hot Plate"

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I am a legal resident of the United States and I have not paid my taxes for the last 15 years. AMA! Thank you for your time. Ask me anything.

**EDIT:** Just a moment guys, someone is at my door.

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What do you call a few Mexicans on the moon? Legal aliens

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I was playing rock paper scissors with my wife... She chose rock and punched me in the chest. I chose paper and covered her throat. She yelled THIS ISNT LEGAL... I told her dead eyed that she was right it was letter.

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