Lemon Jokes

Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in cuba for $1.50 and in jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00? Those are the pie rates of the carribean.

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills, as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting... To which Sherlock replied, “Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

Sherlock was gardening when Watson came over and asked what he was planting. "A lemon tree, Watson".

What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-Aid

Sick Lemon and Sick Bird What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment


What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonade

What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions? An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.

If you see someone doing a crossword Lean over and tell them seven up is Lemon-lime

Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow. "What on earth is that, Holmes?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

Sherlock had a lemon, and Watson asked him where it came from. Sherlock said... A lemon tree, my dear Watson.

Batman went to a restaurant. Shortly after being seated, the waiter asks if he would like a drink.

"Water." Batman says in his gruff voice.

"Would you like ice and a lemon?"

Batman looks at him and says: "Justice."

What do you give to an injured lemon? Lemon-aid.

Courtesy of my daughter.

What do you get when you ask a lemon for help? Lemon aid

"Doctor, Doctor I think I have a disease" said the Lemon "I'm so sorry to tell you this", replies the doctor, "You've got Lemonaids."

(Joke 8yo made at dinner) What do give to sick lemons? First Lemon-aid.

What do you call a cat who eats a lemon? A sourpuss.

How do you help a lemon? Lemon-aid.

Life gave me lemons So I fuckd em and gave em lemon-aids

What's a monkeys favourite dessert? Lemon Morangutan Pie.

I'm sorry.

Why was the lemon depressed? It lost all of its zest

Woman and her Cat What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat?

Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss

My other half and I went to a restaurant. I said to the waitress, "Can I have the lemon grilled salmon?"

"Do you want anything on the side?"

I said, "I can't answer that with my wife sitting next to me."

My daughter keeps rubbing lemon skin all over herself. I think she's pozest.

Sherlock was working on his garden, when Watson walked over and asked what he was planting. "What are you planting?" said Watson.

"It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson."

I got my paycheck with a lemon slice on it today... turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.

My wife came home angry from the gynecologist after he told her she had to stop using lemon douche She's been such a sour puss about it.

What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur Tyrannosourest Rex

What did the pickle say to the lemon? I relish our time together


I'll see myself out

Needless to say the search for the stolen lemon tree Remained Fruitless

two groan worthy jokes I made up over breakfast 1.Q. What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?
A. A Dino-sour

2.Q. Were do robots go to worship?
A. Mech-a

Where do baby citrus fruits go to learn? A lemon tree school

Sherlock Holmes turned to Dr Watson and announced: "The murderer lives in the house with the yellow door." "Good grief, Holmes," said Watson. "How on earth did you deduce that?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

What do you get when you cross a German with a lemon? Sauerkraut.

What do the French call a yellow Jamaican man? Lèmon.

I thought of this one myself shut up

Did you hear the one about the sexually promiscuous citrus fruit? He got lemon aids.

What does Charlie Sheen do when life gives him lemons? He gives them lemon-aids

Keith Lemon was spotted at the London Riots He was caught smashing back doors in.

Q- What will we give to a sick lemon? A- Lemon aid.

What is the similarity between lemon and banana? Can't make mango juice outta them.

What car do fruits use to get around in? A lemon