Liver Jokes

Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs." It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

So a doctor gives a guy a check-up, tries to take his heart beat, nothing, his heart is where his stomach is, his intestines where his lungs should be, and his liver where his stomach should be, i guess you could say his insides were... Un*organ*ised

Sometimes it seems like I'm married to my own liver I only abuse it when I'm drinking

A trip to the doctor... Doctor: "You'll be thrilled to hear that you don't have cancer in your liver. It was all in your head!"

Me: "Oh great!"

Doctor: "No, brain cancer is way worse."

My attempt at a Mitch Hedberg joke "Why are people always having their pizzas delivered? Just order them without liver."

Alcoholism causes memory loss, liver diesase, And memory loss.

If Croatia loses tomorrow, all of England will hope to beat their biggest rival on Sunday: Liver damage

They don't have blood banks in England ... ... but they do have a liver pool.

Which body organ loves life the most? The Liver

Donate a liver, you get called a hero Donate a whole bag of 'em, you get sent to jail

A Serious Issue Alcohol poisoning is a liver die situation.

What's a mailmans favorite organ? Da Liver

You can say a lot about organ thieves, but At least they de-liver.

Conversation at the breakfast table this morning. Him: I shouldn’t say “I love you with all my heart.” I should say, “I love you with all my liver,” since it’s bigger.

Me: Then you should love me with all your ego.

Him: I don’t love you that much.

I’m trained to deliver babies. I’m pretty good at it, but I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to do with the liver.

Doctor: Okay sir, we're going to deliver the baby now Man: Actually, we'd like him to keep his liver

What do you call it when a yellow jacket has inflammation of the liver? Hepatitis Bee

When I promise to come up with an organ transplant pun... I de-liver.

I'm replacing my heart with another liver. So I can drink more, and care less

Doctor: "I'll be delivering your baby" Parents: "Actually, we'd like him to keep his liver"

All causes of death are... ...liver failure

What organ in the body never dies? THE LIVER.

ometrist will copyright this joke. hopefully.

Why did Hannibal Lecter try DiGiorno's Pizza? He heard it had de*liver*y flavor.

A registered organ donor passed away. His body was sent to Amazon Prime... Because they de-liver for free.

A man has a failing liver... and the doctor tells him he needs a transplant. Then man asks if it is necessary.

The doctor says its liver die.

Nurse: I'm going to deliver the baby Me: Actually, we'd like him to keep his liver

My doctor said I should stop thinking so much, it's bad for my health and could damage my liver He also say's I'm half deaf

Sometimes during the weekends I drink some water - you know, to surprise my liver.

What is postman's favourite organ? The liver.

What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games? The liver

Want to avoid hangovers? Keep drinking forever. your liver and wallet will adjust.

What do you call an ex-comedy-central comedian's favorite organ? (x-post from /r/dadjokes) The John O**liver**

The last repost made me so furious, I took OP's liver out. OP delivered.

I just had a successful liver transplant operation. That surgeon really de-livered!

I want to give a shout out to liver thanks buddy for keeping all those bad influences out of my life

How to call a situation when a hospital has a lot of liver prepared for transplantation? Liverpool.

Sometimes I drink water, Just to surprise my liver.

I've been put on a waiting list for a new liver. It's a very exclusive butcher's.

I called up my local takeaway shop to see if they deliver meals He goes "we do chicken, we do beef, we do fish - we don't do liver"