Lizard Jokes

A QA Engineer walks into a bar... Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 9999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sjfkalrtbwc.

Man walks into a bar with a salamander. The bartender says, "Nice lizard. What's its name?"

"I call him Tiny because he's my newt."

What do you call a lizard that smokes pot? A mariguana

What do you call a lizard with 5 legs? A reptile dysfunction

Why was the lizard upset with her husband? Because he had a reptile dysfunction. ...

Okay bye now

What do you call an impotent lizard? A reptile dysfunction

A QA tester walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then he orders 0 beers.

Then he orders 999999999999 beers.

Then he orders a lizard.

Then he orders -1 beers.

Then he orders NULL beers

Then he orders asnwikfjsdf.

What do you call a lizard that smokes weed? A mariguana.

Our young son has been crying a lot at night, so my wife asked me to go out and get a baby monitor for him… But he seems even more freaked out now with the big lizard crawling all over him…

What do you call a lazy lizard? A procrastigator.

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard? Re-tail.

What is the funniest two legged lizard? The stand-up chameleon.

What do you call a stoner lizard? Mariguana

What do you call it when a lizard can't get it up? A reptile dysfunction

What do you say to a man with a broken lizard? Sorry about your reptile dysfunction.

This guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder... and the bartender says, that's a pretty cool lizard, what's his name?

The guy says, "Tiny, because he's minute"

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom? A reptile dysfunction

What do you call a high lizard? Mariguana

A software testing engineer walks into a bar. and he orders a beer, Orders 0 beer, orders 32769 beers, orders 99999999 beers, orders a lizard, orders -1 beers, orders gksbfkagfiau.

Man to Lizard: "So I hear you are in flooring sales" Lizard: I am more in promotion

Man: What do you do?

Lizard: I rep-tile.

Why couldn't the lizard have any children? It had a reptile dysfunction!

Is your lizard not working? You may have a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a lizard on drugs? A mariguana.

I met a lizard who couldn't get it up in bed. Turned out he had a reptile dysfunction.

I saw a lizard with two tails It was a case of reptile dysfunction

In a recent interview, Mark Zuckerburg's wife stated she wasn't bothered at all about being married to a lizard person. But rather, she only took issue when Mark would drink heavily and behave erratically, calling it a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a stoned lizard? A Mariguana.

Boy George has been attacked by his pet lizard He's going to get a calmer chameleon.

I once met a lizard who was a door-to-door pottery salesman He could really rep tile

What do you call a lizard that works as a detective? An investi-gator.

A lizard walks into the bar... A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller. “What’s your kid’s name?” asks the bartender. “Tiny,” says the lizard. “Because he’s my newt.”

I'd tell you a joke about a fiery green lizard But it would drag-on

What did the colour-changing lizard say to his significant other? You're one in chameleon

What do you call a lizard high on weed? A Mariguana.

What do ya call it when a lizard goes completely limp? A reptile-dysfunction.

Why did a lizard feel so stressed? ..Its life had too many de-tails.

What's wrong with your pet lizard when you tell him to come but he won't listen? A reptile dysfunction

What is it called when a lizard becomes impotent? Areptile Dysfunction

Why did the lizard use viagra? He had a reptile dysfunction!

Credit goes to Gilbert Gottfried