Mailman Jokes

Mom, I'm dating a man. \-Whom, sweetheart?

\-Dante the mailman.

Dante the mailman? But he could be your father!

But mom, age is just a number.

Sweetheart, I don't think you understood.

The mailman told me he's off to Spain tomorrow... So I asked him if he was going to Parcelona. He proceeded to ignore what I believe was my best joke. I probably didn't say it right. The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery.

My wife's fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman

I keep getting told I'm a terrible mailman.. Oops I've posted this in the wrong place

My mailman got gender reassignment surgery. Now he's a post man

I scared my mailman by showing up at the door completely naked I'm not sure what scared him more; me being naked or me knowing where he lives.

I greeted the mailman at the door naked He freaked out. Not so much because of my appearance, more because I knew where he lived.

Edit: a word

I had a vasectomy. Did you know that it actually doesn't prevent your wife from getting pregnant it just changes the color of the baby. Or at least that's what my mailman said.

My son came home from school and I immediately asked him: "Hey son, what has 4 legs but isn't alive?"

"Dad, you told me that one yesterday" he said, looking annoyed. "It's a chair."

"Not this time son...the mailman ran over your dog today."

I freaked out my mailman today I freaked out my mailman today when I came to the door completely naked. I'm not sure what shocked him more, my naked body, or the fact that I knew where he lived.

I scared my mailman by showing up to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more; my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.

Gender neutral guide: Fireman = Firefighter Policeman = Policefighter


Mailman = Mailfighter


Fisherman = Fisherfighter

As a mailman, I have a lot of jokes about undelivered letters. But people just don’t seem to get them.

Me: The mail man told me he was going on holidays to spain... ...so i asked was he going to Parcelona and he continued to ignore what I believe was my best joke of the year.

Dad: Well did you say it right? The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery

You know what they say... The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery

My mom says I look just like my father. It's weird that she thinks that, because everyone else says I look like Steve the mailman.

I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona... He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.

This girl once told me she wanted me to do it doggy style. So I licked her face, crapped on the carpet and bit her mailman in the ankle

The key to any good mailman joke is in the delivery.

Do you know the difference between a mailbox and a cow? If your answer was no, you had better not become a mailman.

The mailman told me he's off to Spain tomorrow... So I asked him if he is off to Parcelona. He then proceeded to ignore what is my best joke of 2017.

Well did you say it right? The key to a good mailman's joke is the delivery.

I asked my wife—-Can you help me with this crossword clue? It says “Overworked Mailman”. Wife: Sure. How many letters?

Me: Too many.

What does the soil have in common with a mailman? They both become hostile when you rearrange their letters.

My wife’s fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman.

The United States Postal Service is, in the interest of gender neutrality, discontinuing the title of "Mailman" and changing it to "Personman".

Why did OP get fired from his job as a mailman? He never delivered.

I'm a surgeon/mailman Overall I do a lot of de-livering

I punched the Mailman the other day He had the audacity to tell me I had a small package

What Language Does a Mailman Speak? Parcel-tongue

What do you call an alcoholic mailman? De-livered

I'm really excited for the AMA with the mailman tomorrow I'm sure OP will deliver

My wife’s fantasy is to be with another man and mine is to have two girls at the same time… She must have misunderstood, because now, we have twin daughters from the mailman…

There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends.

What do you get when you cross the mailman with a Cougar? According to the Paternity Test: Me

What do you call a tough mailman? Alpha Mail

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what they were laced with but I've been tripping all day


heard from the mailman who comes in to my shop with a new joke every day. He's making the world a better place one joke at a time

I'm not sure what to call the woman postal worker but apparently "female mailman lady" is **not** it.

How are the Oakland Raiders like the mailman? Neither one delivers on Sunday!

What's the difference between a priest and a mailman? The mailman doesn't handle packages on Sunday.