Mice Jokes

Hickory Dickory Dock Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got through with only minor injuries.

Edit: First front page post! Thanks all!

It’s my cake day so here’s a little cake joke for you all... What do rat’s like to eat on their birthday?
Mice cream and cake

I’ll see myself out.

Hickory hickory Dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other two got away with minor injuries

Hickory dickory dock Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one

And the other two escaped with minor injuries

Hickory Dickory Dock... Three mice ran up the clock

The clock struck one

But the rest escaped with minor injuries.

(Something my grandfather told me when I was five)

A man rings the doorbell of a small house and an old woman answers. “I’m sorry,” the man says, “but I’m afraid I’ve run over your cat. I’d like to replace it if I can.”

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“All right,” the old woman says. “But how good are you at catching mice?”

Why was Mars overrun with mice? Curiosity killed the cat.

Two mice chewing on a film roll One of them goes, "I think the book was better"

If the plural or mouse is mice, and the plural of louse is lice... What does it really mean if my spouse wants to spice things up?

Who do mice worship? Cheesus. :)

Hickorey Dickorey dock.... 3 mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
The other two escaped with minor injuries

A guy knocks on an old ladies door He says excuse me, I think I've killed your cat I just ran over it in the street but I'd like to offer to replace it. She looks at him and says how good are you at catching mice?

Two mice were chewing on a film roll ..when one of them says:

*I think the book was better*

A woman answered the doorbell where a man was standing at the door. The man said,"I'm terribly sorry,but I believe I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you."

The woman replied,"Well that's alright with me,how are you at catching mice?"

Two church mice knock on a man's door He opens it, and the mice say,

"We're here to talk to you about cheeses."

Hickory dickory dock. Three Mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one... And the other 2 got away with minor injuries.

Mouse: "Hey Snake, what are you up to tonight?" Snake: "I'm meeting my soulmate"

Mouse: "Oh wow, that's amazing. How do you know it's your soulmate?"

Snake: "You misheard me. I said I'm eating mice, whole, mate."

What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice? Cat Farts...

Researchers in Texas have cured diabetes in mice without side effects. I bet the scientist that are trying to cure diabetes in humans are so jealous right now.

Hickory, Dickory, Dock ... Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
And the rest escaped with minor injuries

What do cats have for dessert? Mice Crispies

What has six eyes but can't see? Three blind mice.

Hickory dickory doc, three mice ran up a clock The clock struck one and the other two came down with minor injuries.

There are two mice... One is called In, one is call Out, when In is in, Out is out.

Sometimes they like to play jokes on each other, so Out goes in and In goes out... one day In died, how did out know in died?

*Instinct*

What is a cat's favorite breakfast? Mice crispies.

Hickory dickory dock, the mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one The rest barely escaped with their lives

- I bought a cat - Why did you buy a cat?
- My wife is afraid of mice
- You have mice at your house?
- Yes, I brought them a week ago
- Why did you bring mice into your house?
- I always wanted a cat.

cat problems A girl cat asked her boyfriend cat where her mouse stuffed animal was. He says "that was a stuffed animal? I thought it was real so I ate it!"

She responds: "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE MICE THINGS"

Hickory dickory dock Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one
And the other two got away with minor injuries.

What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay? Heavy petting.

What do you call white mouse rappers? Vanilla mice

A scientist has been working with mice for many years and has discovered a potential cure for cancer. "It was an elaborate experiment".

Why are the Mighty Mice from Mars? Because Curiosity killed the cats.

Why aren't poligomists referred to as spice? If the plural of mouse is mice, then logically the plural of spouse should be spice...
It just makes sense because when you have more than one things get spicy.

Why aren't polygamists referred to as spices? If the plural form of mouse is mice...then logically the plural form of spouse should be spice.
Because when you get more than one things get spicy.

Some teenage computer mice were forced to talk to each other... It took them a while, but they cliqued.

Why did two mice fall in love? They just clicked.

A cat entered a barn A cat entered a barn:

Meooow!

All the mice hid. The cat broke the silence again:

Woof, woof!

All the mice came out of hiding. The moral: It's always good to study a second language.

What do Asian cats eat? Mice paper rolls
What do Asian dogs eat?
Their family