Hilarious Mountain Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Mountain Jokes

Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man: "Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?" "I am not Master Akira."

Score: 11333

Up the mountain, a japanese asked the wise man, “Master Akira, why every western man thinks that we, japanese, all look alike?” “I am not Master Akira.”

Score: 887

What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain? The Cowboys suck.

*(I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I don't lack a sense of humor.)*

Score: 676

Hollywood is remaking Brokeback Mountain with Margot Robbie and Emma Watson On the one hand, I hate that they have to remake all the classic movies with female leads as if that somehow makes them better. On the other hand, lotion.

Score: 447

Pilot: *over intercom* we’re all gonna die! Passengers: *start freaking out*

Pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when!

Passengers: *sigh with relief*

Pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit this mountain!!

Score: 248

I'm not convinced faith can move mountain's But ive seen what it can do to skyscrapers

Score: 186

Johnny and Ruth are mountain biking down a hill... ...Ruth hits a tree. Johnny continues, ruthlessly.

Score: 132

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What do you call a wheelchair-bound nun who lives high up on a mountain? A) High roller
B) Virgin mobile
C) Nun of the above

Score: 111

How did the geologist get down the mountain? 'e rode

Score: 103

Mountain's aren't funny... They're hill areas.

Score: 76

Mountain ranges aren't just funny They're hill areas

Score: 72

I would look more like a mountain.. if I were so inclined.

Score: 56

How did Harry Potter get down the mountain? Running!... JK, Rowling.

Score: 55

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scaler.

Score: 50

What did one mountain say to the other after the earthquake? Not my fault.

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A plane flies straight toward a mountain as pilot and co-pilot pull down on the control wheel with all their might The pilot yells "We'll never make it over that mountain" the co-pilot looks at him and says "Not with that altitude."

Score: 43

What does the NFL and Broke Back Mountain have in common? Cowboys that suck.

Score: 42

What does a mountain say when it's sick? I'm feeling hill

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What do you call a mountain of puns? Mount Cleverest

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What's the difference between a goldfish and a mountain goat? Goldfish like to muck around the fountain.

Score: 39

A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike. "How'd you get that, son?"
"By hiking."
"Hiking?"
"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."

Score: 34

My Dad asked if I wanted to go on a mountain climbing trip with him in Nepal, I said, "Sher, pa"

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Your momma so dumb she tried to climb Mountain Dew

Score: 29

What do you get when you cross a mountain and a desert? Very tired feet.

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What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing! You can't cross a vector with a scaler.
(Great math joke that came up in Calculus the other day)

Score: 27

I tripped and fell while mountain-climbing... It all went down hill from there.

Score: 27

How do weathermen get up a mountain? They climate.

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What do you call a herd of sheep tumbling down a mountain? A lambslide.

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What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

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Mountain ranges aren't funny They're hill areas.

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What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

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Guy running the ski-lift said it would be $50 to get to the top of the mountain... I said "that's a bit steep."

He said "exactly."

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Me: Do you want something to drink? Me: We've got this new soda called 'Princess Di.' It's a tribute to Princess Diana

Friend: Got anything else?

Me: Just Mountain Dew.

Friend: So those are my only two options?

Me: It's Dew or Di.

Score: 12

What do you call a mountain that you've never climbed. Mount neverest

Score: 9

What happened to Helen Keller when she fell down the mountain? She broke five fingers calling for help

Score: 8

Why won't I ever make a water feature on top of a mountain where a lot of baby horses are buried? My mom taught me to never make fountains out of foal hills

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The mountain gazelle is said to have the ability to jump higher than the average house Considering houses don't jump

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What is Bane's favorite movie? Broke-back Mountain

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I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing. It has it's ups and downs.

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New Mountain Jokes

They say that the power of love can move mountains That is 100% true because i just picked up a can of mountain dew and threw it at my girl.

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What do you call a bird that you follow up a mountain? A Chirpa

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What did the ghost say when he reached the top of the mountain? Peakatboo!

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Where do best mountain fruits come from? Apple-achia

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Why do mountain climbers bbq at the peak rather than at the base? Because the steaks are high.

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What mountain do ignorant alpinists climb? Whateverest.

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What soft drink can a Jew only buy? Mountain Jew

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Homeless friends aweful joke Rabbit " what do Mormons and tweakers have in common?"

"Hm?"

Rabbit "They're always on mountain bikes and always on a mission"

Pretty sure its original atleast.
Lol made me laugh, -had to be there maybe-

Score: 0

What do you call a mountain full of bears houses? Mass
——-
Volume

Score: 1

The reason the sage at the top of the mountain answers your questions... Is because you inclined.

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Dora is always asking where the mountain is... but she never wants to know how the mountain is 😣

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You guys heard the joke about the Brazilian mountain goat? It was bah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ad.

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A man reached the top of the mountain and tells the sage atop it “I seek one greater than the meaning of life itself.” The sage replies “43.”

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My family and I rode Space Mountain as Joy, Disgust, and Anger from Inside Out. It was a rollercoaster of emotions.

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I met a mountain lion once ... ... He made me puma pants.

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What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a cantaloupe all go to? A John Cougar Melon Camp

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What happens when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

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My mountain climbing partner's last words were wasted on giving me advice about toys I don't even have. "DON'T LEGO."

Odd.

Score: 3

I just saw Brokeback Mountain The action was in tents

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How does a giant climb a mountain when he's in a contemplative mood? thousand-yard stairs

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Why was the mountain stream laughing? Because it's banks were hill-areas...

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What do you call a Rabbi on a hill? A Mountain Jew

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What's a feminist favorite Mountain? Mt. Kill-A-Man-Jaro

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What do you call it when a writer hangs himself off the side of the mountain? A cliffhanger.

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An explosive knock knock joke My 11yr old son came up with this joke

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting mountain
Interrup-
VOLCANO!!!

Score: 4

I went to the top of the mountain and screamed "I Love you" Echo: "I have a boyfriend"

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What do you call a hillbilly after he is all grown up? A mountain goat of course!

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Guy on a mountain asks, "How did a ship get here?" "I shipped it"

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What did the neckbeard call his wall sized paintings of a Russian mountain range? M'Urals.

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What is a nymphomaniac's favorite soda? Mountain Dew

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What's Fred Flintstone's favorite soft drink? Mountain Yaba-daba-do

^I don't know if this is original but it just popped into my head. ^^I'll see myself out..

Score: 3

What do you call a phaser-flavored soda? Mountain D.E.W.

[Directed-Energy Weapon](#s)

Score: 1

What do you call a little mountain range? The Poconos?

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How did the egg get up the mountain? It scrambled up!

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What's a robot's favorite soda to drink? Mountain Dew LiveWire.

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What kind of fruit grows on a mountain? Alpineapples!

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In which mountain range do fruit trees primarily grow? The Apple-achian mountains.

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What d'you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? You can't cross a scalar with a vector.

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What do loud-mouthed Italian actors drink when they're mountain-climbing? Alppuccinos

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What do an asthmatic stoner and a one legged mountain climber have in common? They both have difficulty getting high.

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Gary Johnson is happy with the election results... He's got a new Mountain of Salt to climb.

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What did Ceasars say, when he wanted to go mountain climbing? K2 BRUTUS?

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I’m really worried about my girlfriend. She bleats all day about nothing, she’s started chewing on the furniture, and yesterday we lost her on a mountain. It must be to do with something that happened when she was a kid.

Score: 1

How do choo choo train go down many mountain? It go "TOOT" then thomas Tank gives tug

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A mountain was next to another mountain.. An earthquake happens and one of the mountains say..

"It wasn't my fault!"

credit to my awesome science teacher

Score: 2